Morbus Iff, Ghyll Scholar
According to his recovered journals, Morbus Iff is "ethereally real and surreally not". Physically demented and officially demoted, this rogue scholar was once a member of the secretive Council for Quezlarian Research until he was found naked and covered in a brown fluid in some unremarkable civilian's basement. Although the Council won't reveal further details, they've suggested his work "deeply and perversely flawed" and have invalidated the research he performed for them. Exactly how he's making contributions to the Ghyll encyclopedia, or his current whereabouts, are unknown.
- The above is, of course, just another example of the jocose lies and half-malicious half-truths commonly associated with our good Morbus. It is an open secret among the scholarly community, after all, that he holds the position of Editor-in-chief with the Encyclopedia, and is responsible for the Mighty Stomp that ensures that low-quality contributions are excluded or swiftly removed. As for his location-- I ask you! Can anyone so readily findable by the simplest of searches be said to have "whereabouts unknown"? Try it for yourself, Gentle Reader. --John Cowan 13:10, 11 Dec 2004 (EST)
- I thought that "whereabouts" was slang for those fashionable, or garish depending on your point of view, external undergarments that he's known to wear. What are his current whereabouts? Nobody knows because nobody wants to look. --Sean B. Palmer 15:53, 12 Dec 2004 (EST)
- Another interesting component is his ability to help newer scholars in their quasi-noble efforts to enter into the field. I myself have found him to help me and give a nudge in the right direction. The rumor that he has done more than nudge to certain clerical staff members remains an idiotic insinuation, as nothing has been proved in court. --Theophenes 04:37, 21 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Note: It's true that Morbus hasn't been seen in his usual haunts lately, but the rumor that our beloved Morb has died of heartbreak (supposedly proved by a weird ritual involving pounding his forehead with a silver hammer) and been replaced by a new Editor-in-chief can be definitively refuted by a quick look at Recent Changes. --John Cowan 13:19, 23 Apr 2005 (EDT)