Difference between revisions of "Ghyll:Careers"

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(Dibbery with quotes)
 
(Copyediting. It's Monday. Haraumph.)
 
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Dibbed.  --[[User:Jcowan|John Cowan]] 22:33, 30 May 2005 (EDT)
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''The following excerpt from last week's ''[[Folktown Records]]'' (#669; 1/1/22 [[EC]]), by an author who wishes to remain anonymous, is an excellent summary of the Ghyllian "job market" (to coin a phrase) and is hereby submitted for the Encyclopedia:''
  
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Quotations:
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:Now that [[Morphous Ibb]] is nearly nine, he wants to know how one goes about choosing a '''career'''.  A fine question.
  
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After their marriage, [[Bavarian Creame]]'s career rapidly progressed. She became a Core Advisor to (then) Mayor Hew Loan and served at that rank in a number of offices. She was perceived as Mayor Loan's 'troubleshooter' and was widely viewed as responsible for preventing the destruction of museums, jobs and even preventing several wars. When she inherited her father's title and became Lady Smallwood, her succession to the post of mayor seemed inevitable as high society's golden goose.
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:Obviously the first point is to discover what sorts of careers there are, and then try to find out which one you might be suited for and vice versa.  You could be an [[agony uncle]] like me, or a [[User:Fausto Sorensen|journalist]] of a more ordinary stripe, or a scholar, or go into politics by way of becoming a [[Boxing Day]] referee, and eventually going on to become Lord Mayor of [[Iganefta]] or Mayor of [[Folktown]].  (And there is no point in asking me why the Belly-Jewel of the South has a Lord Mayor and the capital of Ghyll a mere Mayor, for I tell you plainly I have no idea.)
  
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A somewhat shambolic thinker, [[User:Dok|Dok]] has been consistently mediocre throughout his entire career.
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:Alternatively, you could become a [[DermPachyges|pachyderm driver]], or a scribbler of books for the young to read and/or chew on (as the saying is, "I give you books, and I give you books, and all you do is eat the covers!"), or an inventor like (but not like, oh please, ''not'' like) [[Harv Gretborn]], or a [[M'Kev D'wal|public entertainer]] of one sort or [[Edvard von Craghelm|another]], or a [[Baron James Horkmanifester|businessman]].
  
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After 16 years of research in [[Folktown]] University, [[User:Talliesin|Talliesin]] completed his doctoral thesis "To say or not, an exploration of etiquette with particular focus of whether you should let a woman know her underwear is showing or that her clothes are practically transparent when the light is right". Two years later he sued the University and they reluctantly handed him his doctorate. It was however clear that he would not become a professor and his academic career was destroyed.
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:The Ibbs are not famous for their highly placed connections, so a [[Bysted Timperton|sinecure]] with a [[Council for Quezlarian Research|learned society]] is probably out; likewise, they are far from being social outcasts, which eliminates the short but interesting career of a [[rejah]].
  
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[[User:Darus Ixa|Darus Ixa]] is young, not terribly ambitious scholar who plans not to die in the near future. A onetime member of the [[Aminfarances Institute of Science and Technomancy]], he quit his group because they made him do things resembling actual work. He chose a career in the scholarly pursuits because it's the one job most unlike real work he could think of. He specializes in Occultology, Technology, Demonology and the Unbelievable/Paranormal. And random bits of History.
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:To be a [[Rater Goldfish|musician]] or [[Wilhelmina Corinne Bardway|artist]] requires special talent; if you have those, you probably know it already.
  
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The beasts are extremely intelligent, and respond very unfavorably to anyone carrying anything that might be construed as a weapon. They make friends very hesitantly, and usually will allow only a single individual to ride on their back. Thus, the courier-drovers are typically paired with a particular pachyderm for their entire career, and become very attached to them. Usually, they are paired with their beast at birth, and the two grow up together.
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:Be sure to ask your parents about your [[toilet training]], as this has been shown to have a lot of effect on what your future prospects in life will be.
  
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[[Doc Rockett]] began his career as a writer of elementary and advanced textbooks for students, and made a limited success of this profession; however, the form was not really suited to his talents, as it limited his wide-ranging imagination too greatly.
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:After that, it's a mere matter of working as an unpaid intern (and enduring the contumely of your [[Godfroi Hasawithe|boss]]), or getting some time on an open stage, or being a copyboy, or assisting with a political campaign, or retiring to an underground ''sanctum sanctorum'' to work with stinks or fizzles, or whatever seems suitable to your chosen career.  Don't feel bad if you find out that your original idea wasn't the best:  "If at first you don't succeed, try, try something else", as the saying is.
  
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[[Harv Gretborn]]'s earliest inventions were relatively straightforward, like the Fountain Spray and the Blue Ice, though the military-mindedness that was so prominent a feature of his later career was already apparent in the first of them, the disgusting but effective [[Snotgun]].
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:(The less said about [[Olaff Devork]] in this connection, the better.)
  
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t was after having discovered the joys of hard work that [[Johnny Lightning]] decided to dedicate himself to the easy life.  He and Jimmy Cashews found themselves in the same chain gang in the Mines and immediately started planning their escape.  This was the beginning of a life-long working relationship for these two compatriots of crime.
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'''Citations''':  [[Folktown]], [[Morphous Ibb]], [[Toilet training]].
  
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[[M'Kev D'wal]] enjoyed fame and popularity during his early career, but is now in semi-retirement.
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--[[User:Jcowan|John Cowan]] 13:50, 3 Jun 2005 (EDT)
  
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Earlier in his career as a journalist, [[User:Fausto Sorensen|Fausto Sorensen]] was assigned by his paper to investigate the assassination of [[Iain Underholm Smallwood]].
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[[Category:Other]]
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[[Baron James Horkmanifester]]: businessman.
 
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[[Rater Goldfish]]:  [[Freege Horn]] artist.
 
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The most famous [[rejah]] in recent Ghyll history is undoubtedly [[Odgar IV|Odgar Iv]] (the capital V commonly seen is a folly without warrant), who held the post for an unprecedented 27 years.  Most rejahs are out of office within ten years as a result of a recall election or cirrhosis of the liver, whichever comes first.  Odgar's longevity was probably a result of his second career as a musician and composer, which required him to stay sober in order to put pen to paper or finger to flute.
 
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The famous developmental psychoalchemist, Dr. B. J. Spook, spent quite a bit of his early professional career researching the effects that [[toilet training]] variation and mishap had on later mental development.
 
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[[Whostley]] has only published a single composition in his professional career. The tune, entitled ''Onomatopoeia'' is the only known composition for a single-horn, solo [[Freege Horn]]. His composition, however simple, is ideally suited to those learning the craft of becoming a keys-man and so is very popular with students of the instrument.
 
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[[Olaff Devork]] was a drunken hypermegolomaniac womanizing hipster freakazoid lowlife scumpot druggie skankball crapfaced smellbag of cessily corruptionated assstain scandalousitynesses in his later financial career, as was the fashion of the time.
 

Latest revision as of 09:53, 6 June 2005

The following excerpt from last week's Folktown Records (#669; 1/1/22 EC), by an author who wishes to remain anonymous, is an excellent summary of the Ghyllian "job market" (to coin a phrase) and is hereby submitted for the Encyclopedia:

Now that Morphous Ibb is nearly nine, he wants to know how one goes about choosing a career. A fine question.
Obviously the first point is to discover what sorts of careers there are, and then try to find out which one you might be suited for and vice versa. You could be an agony uncle like me, or a journalist of a more ordinary stripe, or a scholar, or go into politics by way of becoming a Boxing Day referee, and eventually going on to become Lord Mayor of Iganefta or Mayor of Folktown. (And there is no point in asking me why the Belly-Jewel of the South has a Lord Mayor and the capital of Ghyll a mere Mayor, for I tell you plainly I have no idea.)
Alternatively, you could become a pachyderm driver, or a scribbler of books for the young to read and/or chew on (as the saying is, "I give you books, and I give you books, and all you do is eat the covers!"), or an inventor like (but not like, oh please, not like) Harv Gretborn, or a public entertainer of one sort or another, or a businessman.
The Ibbs are not famous for their highly placed connections, so a sinecure with a learned society is probably out; likewise, they are far from being social outcasts, which eliminates the short but interesting career of a rejah.
To be a musician or artist requires special talent; if you have those, you probably know it already.
Be sure to ask your parents about your toilet training, as this has been shown to have a lot of effect on what your future prospects in life will be.
After that, it's a mere matter of working as an unpaid intern (and enduring the contumely of your boss), or getting some time on an open stage, or being a copyboy, or assisting with a political campaign, or retiring to an underground sanctum sanctorum to work with stinks or fizzles, or whatever seems suitable to your chosen career. Don't feel bad if you find out that your original idea wasn't the best: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try something else", as the saying is.
(The less said about Olaff Devork in this connection, the better.)

Citations: Folktown, Morphous Ibb, Toilet training.

--John Cowan 13:50, 3 Jun 2005 (EDT)

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