I have no clue where this came from...

the slack jawed local jumps
by Morbus

I was going to write a wonderful little ditty about how I saw Jesus on a pile of trash (true story!), but then I realized I have tons of things to do. And they were all supposed to be done yesterday. Much less the fact that my hands are very sweaty and I have to fill out some stupid form so that I can get an EIN.


So, I figure now will be a perfect issue for reader submissions. I've got tons of them, but 'Drifting Alone in the Fog' has been waiting for quite a while. It actually wasn't a submission per se, but a snippet from an email conversation long ago. Rambling and thought typing prove entertaining to me... entertaining enough to show the rest of the world.

And then, of course, we have part seven of ten from Rown Garnbii. He's barely squeaking by with a win on his trip to Heaven, but with three more to go, it's anybody's call.

Let me know what you think.

drifting alone in the fog
by innocent email user

Did you ever think about abortion before? Probably you didn't think about it that much because you're a boy and it's not something you'd ever have to go through in any situation. But I'm a girl so naturally it's something I've had to think about before. And my opinion on it has always been this: I can understand why some women feel they need to have abortions. I don't judge them. If that's what they think is right for them, then I think they should be able to make that choice for themselves. For me Personally, though, I don't think it's something I would ever do. I can't even step on bugs. How could I go through with something that would eliminate whatever little life I had a hand in creating that was inside my own body?? How could I ever live with myself after that?

I had this dream that I had sex and got pregnant and had an abortion. That's not really the part that scares me. What scares me is that Now I think if I ever did get pregnant I really might have an abortion. Might? It's pretty likely. Unless I was married or something. But I mean with my life where it is now, I think it's more than possible that I would have an abortion.

Not that it's even something I need to worry about. I'm not having sex, and even if I were the depo-porvera is 99.7% effective. What is that? Three women in every ten thousand get pregnant or something? or one thousand. My math is bad. The point is it's Very unlikely that I'd even get pregnant, so why am I worrying? Just because it makes me feel bad about myself.

Here's my thinking: I'm a selfish bitch. The difference between stepping on an ant and aborting a fetus is pretty big. If you go in for the theory that Human life is more valuable than any other kind of life. Which I always say I don't, but in the back of my head I really do. I can't help it. That idea has been programmed into all of us. Anyway, there's another difference. The level of personal involvement. Stepping on an ant - I can't do it. Because I have to actually raise my foot and bring it down and erase a life. An abortion? All I have to do is lie there and let some doctor do his work. Then I can just go away and forget about it. Maybe. I've heard that having an abortion is something you never get over. It's a traumatic event. I don't know how I'd feel.

So there. I'm selfish. A selfish bitch, mind you. Nevermind what I say about other women. They do what they think they have to do. I'm ME. I should be better than everyone else. Do you know what I mean? I hold myself to a higher standard than other people. What's okay for others is Not okay for me. I should be a good enough person that if I got pregnant, I have the baby and either give it to someone who will love it or just love it myself. But because I can't bare the idea of giving it away (I'd rather see it dead?) or actually raising it myself (and let it get in the way of my life?!), I'd just dispose of it. That's what I think I would do now.

I wish I could be more casual about it. It's just a fetus. It's just a fetus that could turn into a person who would love me and who I would love more than Anything else in the entire world. And because it's not convenient, I would chose to abort. What's wrong with me? I feel evil. I would never judge another woman as harshly as I'm judging myself. I'm not even pregnant. It's not even a decision I have to make. But I made it anyway, against my own free will, while I was asleep. I hate my unconscious mind.

I just realized that I don't think I know how you feel about abortion. Oh well. You've never judged me in the past, so I'm not assuming you'll do so now. I just felt like "talking" and you're safe.

I feel very sad about this. I think I might go cry. If it were possible (which I know it's not, but Think about it), would you ever have an abortion?

a s s h o l i c
the greatest column ever told
by Rown Garnbii

(Part Seven of Ten)

"Thou shalt not commit adultery." (God, Exodus 20:14)

Hmmm... Considering I've never been in a meaningful relationship resulting from my abrasive and schizophrenically defensive personality it's safe to say that I've never committed adultery. Ah, thank god for hookers...

There are two kinds of people. Guys who can't get girls and girls who can't get guys. Yeah, yeah, I know. There are a few other types but fuck 'em for right now. I'm talking about the needy, retarded, short on the top, long in the back, peach fuzz "it'll come in real wicked someday" mustached assholics who pollute the sets of the Jerry Springer show and the whores of all different shapes and sizes who love them.

Eventually these guys who can't get girls meet up with a girl who can't get guys, and thanks to the magic equalizer of alcohol, they meet, fuck, breed and fall into a perverted sense of love in that order.

Fine by me. As long as they're happy and they have the decency to destroy their fetid offspring in ritual infanticide then, hey, whatever floats your boat. Live long and prosper. But what eats me up about it is either the guy, the girl or both (it's an even mix) decide to cheat on the other.


Who do you think you are? You think women (and/or men) are beating down your trailer door? You just had to mess up a decent thing. It's a weird mentality that does it. Where does this mentality come from? It's almost always from a person's upbringing and a person's family is not their fault. How they are brought up is not their fault. Many people have parents who abuse and cheat, therefore psychologically they would be inclined to do it as well. It's a sad truth.

So, can God really persecute someone for something that is greatly the responsibility of the family? Sure, of course he can.

I don't know the logistics of it. I don't know how the church explains why some are raised in luxury and others, squalor. Some in a nurturing family and others in an abusive one. But there's that damn free will thing. You can get help no mater what economic situation you're in. And that free will is what makes it a bad thing.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a big believer of "I don't give a shit." Though I do tend to complain a bit here and there, I honestly don't care what people do to themselves. What people do to others is what bugs me.

Adultery, dishonesty... these things hurt. Cut that shit out.

SCORE: Hell - 3 / Salvation - 4

send us an email


Your article 'Drifing Alone in the Dark', was very touching. It made me think a lot about what a woman has to deal with in regards to abortion.

Wow... this has really hit me hard. It's almost like a wakeup call or something.

But I want to let you know, it was great and keep up the good work you guys/gals.


The piece about abortion in No. 62 is what set me off. I don't identify with the girl who wrote it but I can see where she's coming from. The noble side insists on preserving human life (Hippocrates for the masses) but the human side insists that too much is being asked. I think that's why when an unmarried mother gives up a baby for adoption it's preferable that she not see the baby. The baby then remains abstract, an object, and the mother can get back to everyday living a lot easier. An abortion basically has somewhat the same effect since there's no final product to get attached to. The other item is that society puts a tremendous burden on everyone and thus brings about the conflict the girl is going through without actually getting pregnant. We all come up with ideas of what would be ideal for us as individuals, but society, them, the priests, educators, politicians, teachers, adults, want us to do things in a way contrary to what feels good. And of course sex feels good.

I sense the same conflict in the piece by Rown Garnbii. Same song, different circumstances. I may have mentioned the Conversations With God, trilogy by Neale Donald Walsh before but whether or not it was really big "G" talking or not, the message is what keeps me going, or should I say easygoing?

"Whatever you do is all right with Me. There is absolutely nothing you can do to offend Me. I don't punish. I love. You guys are the punishers. You invented the Devil, you invented good and evil. Hitler went to heaven. Why? No place else to go."

There you have it. Abortion or not? It's all right with God either way. What about the life that was terminated? No problem, the soul will find another vehicle. Adultery? Go ahead but don't look to God for punishment. He doesn't mind. If it bothers you then you become your own judge, not God.


I got to thinking.. Well, I was always all for abortions. I knew exactly where to get the stuff I needed to force an abortion.. how to prepare it and everything, in case it happened before I turned eighteen. I *studied* it, because I didn't want to be burdened with a child. But well, I had a miscarriage after I turned 18.. four days after. It wasn't forced.. I didn't even know I was pregnant. Well, after that, I don't think I could get an abortion. I don't think I want to.

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Devil Shat Sixty Two was released on 03/09/00. Last updated: 03/09/00.