Ghyll:Laxicon
The Ghyll Lexicon that this article is a part of was preceded by, and is in part based on, a series of rag-a-bob publications known as Laxicons. The yclepement "Laxicons" is a deliberate pun on both the laxness in the academic integrity of the publications, and the fact that many of them were actively sponsored, and extraordinarily biased, by Ghyll's three largest laxative companies, which went into disrepute and bankruptcy around -15 EC.
The five most important laxicons, known for historical reasons as the Quindred Couplet, were issued sporadically between -35 and -22 EC. They were all produced in the city of Iganefta.
Papiolatrinearchaeologists (historians and analysts of toilet paper) have ascertained that the decade of -20 would've been known as the era of a Great Toilet Paper Shortage were it not for the laxicons. The enchanting theory behind the whole development is that as the thirst for knowledge grew amongst the public, so did their exposure to the laxicons' advertisements and hence their intake of laxatives; since toilet paper was in great demand at the time for other obvious reasons, the laxicons themselves had to be used to dispose of the mess, more laxicons bought to fill their places, and so the cycle maintained itself in a positive feedback loop.
One of the few editions to have survived being brought to the ass is that outlining the great Spigot Controversy. Its contenture was as follows:
- Spigot
- Spagot
- Spegot
- Spugot
- Spogot
This bizarrely controversial ordering almost started a civil riot, but thankfully it was quelled by a mysterious monk from the Vale of Oddbag. It is said that the monk later went to work in the Odlucian Library, but I don't know about that since he was also raking in Quezlarian Ooo faster than a Rater Goldfish.
Citations: Iganefta, Odlucian Library, Quezlarian Ooo.
--Sean B. Palmer 12:03, 2 Dec 2004 (EST)
