Ghyll:Recollectiball - Revision history

Jcowan: Copy editing

2005-10-06T12:58:26Z

Copy editing

Can't load revision 27529

Morbus Iff: No coffee for me. Ahahahaha.

2005-09-26T14:51:33Z

No coffee for me. Ahahahaha.

Sbp: It was not complete. Now it is. Maybe.

2005-09-23T18:28:16Z

It was not complete. Now it is. Maybe.

Sbp: Hopefully complete.

2005-09-23T18:24:23Z

Hopefully complete.

Sbp: Citationising, etc.

2005-09-23T18:22:19Z

Citationising, etc.

Brother Arfrus: Phylostarus links

2005-09-23T15:37:24Z

Phylostarus links

Sbp: Adding signature.

2005-09-20T18:14:49Z

Adding signature.

Sbp: Dullford the Pachyderm.

2005-09-20T18:14:22Z

Dullford the Pachyderm.

Sbp: Totally dibbed at you.

2005-09-19T21:48:28Z

Totally dibbed at you.

New page

I am so dibbing this. --[[User:Sbp|Sean B. Palmer]] 17:48, 19 Sep 2005 (EDT)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by [[Phylostarus]] around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of pachyderms. [[Phylostarus]] figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
+A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by [[Phylostarus]] around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of [[pachyderm]]s. Phylostarus figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
-[[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford[[#Footnotes|&#x2020;]]. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system[[#Footnotes|&#x2021;]].
+[[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet [[pachyderm]], Dullford. (His wife, upon seeing this act, divorced him for the fifth time. They remarried for the sixth time the following spring.) Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system. (Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].)
 The recording duration of recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which [[Phylostarus]] achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
-In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of [[Dŵplat]]. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball Plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.
+In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of [[Dŵplat]]. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.
 Recollectiballs are banned from most schools, inns, and orgies because of the possibility of misuse. The oldest party trick of all is to record a werewolf noise onto a recollectiball a few hours into the tape, rewind it, set it to play, and insert it into the anus of someone who is sleeping particularly drunk. If you've ever been woken by the sound of your own ass howling arrrRrorOOoOoOOooo!, you know you've had too much to drink the night before, and that your friends are bastards.
 '''Citations''': [[Backwards logic]], [[Banter Scarves]], [[Phylostarus]].
 --[[User:Sbp|Sean B. Palmer]] 14:14, 20 Sep 2005 (EDT)

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 [[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford[[#Footnotes|&#x2020;]]. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system[[#Footnotes|&#x2021;]].
-The recording duration of Recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which [[Phylostarus]] achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
+The recording duration of recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which [[Phylostarus]] achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
-In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of Dŵplat. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball Plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.
+In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of [[Dŵplat]]. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball Plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.
 Recollectiballs are banned from most schools, inns, and orgies because of the possibility of misuse. The oldest party trick of all is to record a werewolf noise onto a recollectiball a few hours into the tape, rewind it, set it to play, and insert it into the anus of someone who is sleeping particularly drunk. If you've ever been woken by the sound of your own ass howling arrrRrorOOoOoOOooo!, you know you've had too much to drink the night before, and that your friends are bastards.

@@ Line 15: / Line 15: @@
 &#x2021; Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].
-'''Citations''': [[Banter Scarves]], [[Phylostarus]], @@.
+'''Citations''': [[Backwards logic]], [[Banter Scarves]], [[Phylostarus]].
 --[[User:Sbp|Sean B. Palmer]] 14:14, 20 Sep 2005 (EDT)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by [[Phylostarus]] around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of pachyderms. [[Phylostarus]] figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
-[[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford|. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system||.
+[[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford[[#Footnotes|&#x2020;]]. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system[[#Footnotes|&#x2021;]].
 The recording duration of Recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which [[Phylostarus]] achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 Recollectiballs are banned from most schools, inns, and orgies because of the possibility of misuse. The oldest party trick of all is to record a werewolf noise onto a recollectiball a few hours into the tape, rewind it, set it to play, and insert it into the anus of someone who is sleeping particularly drunk. If you've ever been woken by the sound of your own ass howling arrrRrorOOoOoOOooo!, you know you've had too much to drink the night before, and that your friends are bastards.
-|His wife, upon seeing this act, divorced him for the fifth time. They remarried for the sixth time the following spring.
+==Footnotes==
-||Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].
+&#x2020; His wife, upon seeing this act, divorced him for the fifth time. They remarried for the sixth time the following spring.
-'''Citations''': @@.
+&#x2021; Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].
 --[[User:Sbp|Sean B. Palmer]] 14:14, 20 Sep 2005 (EDT)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by Phylostarus around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of pachyderms. Phylostarus figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
+A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by [[Phylostarus]] around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of pachyderms. [[Phylostarus]] figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
-Phylostarus had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford|. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system||.
+[[Phylostarus]] had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford|. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system||.
-The recording duration of Recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which Phylostarus achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
+The recording duration of Recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which [[Phylostarus]] achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
 In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of Dŵplat. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball Plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:14, 20 September 2005
Line 12:		Line 12:

	\|\|Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].		\|\|Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].
		+
		+	'''Citations''': @@.
		+
		+	--[[User:Sbp\|Sean B. Palmer]] 14:14, 20 Sep 2005 (EDT)

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:14, 20 September 2005
Line 1:		Line 1:
−	~~I am so dibbing this~~. --[[~~User:Sbp~~\|~~Sean B~~. ~~Palmer~~]] ~~17:48~~, ~~19 Sep 2005~~ (~~EDT~~)	+	A '''recollectiball''' is a device for recording sound for later playback. They were invented by Phylostarus around -195 [[EC]] in his studies on the intestinal workings of pachyderms. Phylostarus figured that if you could get a pachyderm to retain more food, said pachyderm could courier packages much further over inhospitable terrains.
		+
		+	Phylostarus had been given a broken kettle by his wife for his birthday, and was determined to put it to good use. He therefore haphazardly fashioned it into the world's first ever recollectiball, and inserted it thoroughly into the rectum of his wife's pet pachyderm, Dullford\|. Through the research of which this was a part, we now understand very precisely the workings of a pachyderm's digestive system\|\|.
		+
		+	The recording duration of Recollectiballs is indefinite, possibly infinite. The original method through which Phylostarus achieved this is quite ingenious. He changed the function of the broken kettle from "boil water" to "stop recording", and then hooked up an internal optical device so that the recollectiball is constantly watching itself. Coupled with the old adage "a watched kettle never boils", and substituting the new function, he arrived at "a watched recollectiball never stops recording". And so they don't.
		+
		+	In -68 [[EC]], recollectiballs were, somewhat surprisingly, found to grow freely as the fruit of a plant native to the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, west of the little northern village of Dŵplat. This is only the second known instance of a technological invention occuring also as a natural phenomenon, the other being [[Banter Scarves]]. Due to the continued relative inaccessibility of the Tíâgrídíg Valleys, the Recollectiball Plant (the singleton member of the genus Stop-Recording-Me-I-Don't-Like-The-Sound-Of-My-Own-Voice) has not so far put commerical recollectiball producers out of business.
		+
		+	Recollectiballs are banned from most schools, inns, and orgies because of the possibility of misuse. The oldest party trick of all is to record a werewolf noise onto a recollectiball a few hours into the tape, rewind it, set it to play, and insert it into the anus of someone who is sleeping particularly drunk. If you've ever been woken by the sound of your own ass howling arrrRrorOOoOoOOooo!, you know you've had too much to drink the night before, and that your friends are bastards.
		+
		+	\|His wife, upon seeing this act, divorced him for the fifth time. They remarried for the sixth time the following spring.
		+
		+	\|\|Some of the recordings of the understandably surprised Dullford's stomach are on display in the Audio Section of the [[Odlucian Library]].