Jaws VII : Urban Avenger

happy done-that year two
by Morbus

Wow... we've been together for almost a year and a half now. If I didn't feel like I've accomplished something, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't acknowledge the length of time that we have been sharing ideas, comments, and rants. Nor would I be doing it on such a day as this: the day before Happy Done-That Year Two.

See... twelve months ago, I introduced something called Happy Done-That Year. The first thing that comes to mind when I read something like this is: "Oh, look, another guy trying to appear important by christening a day". 'Tis true: Happy Done-That Year ranks right up there with National Safety Day and Be Kind To Beavers Day (shouldn't we always?). I'll also be the first to admit it sounds pretty stupid too.

But it differs slightly. Mainly, it's a whole year. Yes, that's right! Not only can you appreciate the humor of the Be Kind To Beavers Day, but you can also wonder, each and every day, how you could have ever lived without knowing... knowing that everything you have done, you've done before.

As much as you change jobs, get a new computer, marry someone and move into a new home, there is very little which you aren't repeating. Sure, you've changed jobs... yet you've had one before. You've either gotten a job you don't like (which is the similarity with why you're changing jobs in the first place) or you've gotten a job which you love, probably because it hits close to home with things you enjoy doing... only now you're getting paid for it.

And yeah, you can get a new computer, but what can you really do that's different? I got a new computer about six months ago, and I pulled out all of my demo CDs from which I installed that "great" game that I couldn't play on my old machine. Turned out the game sucked, and got old rather quickly. I ran to the Internet for my "newness", finally downloading the RealPlayer since I had a fast enough processor. And you know what? Besides being able to listen to other people's prank phone calls, it ain't that great. It becomes another worthless plugin for a browser - one that opens and gives something you knew you wouldn't care about... but being a sadistic little motherfucker, you just HAD to click on the link anyways.

So you've married, eh? Well, if you're smart (which I know is assuming a lot), you've probably spent lots of time with this person. You know who the person is, why you love 'em, and their own little peculiarities which make them who they are. You've probably slept with them, whether it be sexually or not, and you are firmly entrenched in the idea that you can live with them for the rest of your life. Either way, the only new you will ever learn is the fact that some stupid little red bear which has been hanging in your room for a month belongs to some other guy. Sure, it annoys you, but you "understand"... they were "only friends" (ugh, this is hitting too close to home).

Love your new home that you just bought? Maybe it's your first new location, maybe you've been moving all your life. The novelty lasts only as long as the boxes remain packed. Eventually, you'll have packaged your new toy in the comfort of normalcy: the favorite TV and couch, the pictures of grandpa, the dog who has plenty of new things to scratch. You'll settle, and within a year, it'll be the same as it ever was.

The same as it ever was.

Having grown up in a religion whose habit was to ignore holidays, New Year's Day remains merely 24 hours... where I can go to the mall with my loved one and walk around Filene's and have a private chuckle at the huge line of apparel with those stupid 01-01-00 dates on them. Hats, shoes, bags, shirts, pants, and hell! Even underwear! Yes, let your penis bring in the new year!

With only one more year to the Millennium, we can only hope it'll be arousing.

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You know, you hit the nail dead on. I've had shitty progs that never quite worked until I upgraded my system. Ugh. At least the 'nice' progs don't need a format to get rid of them.

ehh, I keep trying it, but I still think realaudio sucks. Seems like I've been trying it since I got on the web with ns 1.1. It's really a pain in the ass to have to D/L the damn thing every 3 months! I've quit trying... I just bail out of that site. And what's with the new feature that won't let you save a .ra file to your system? I'm supposed to pull the same file across a slow 26400 connection everytime I want to play the file? pfftt!!!

Yeah, I bitch and moan and I keep clicking the fucking links.

Kind of a dumbass thing to do.

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Devil Shat is published by Disobey & is protected under all copyright laws.
Devil Shat Forty Three was released on 12/31/98. Last updated: 01/02/99.