why rape means "hello" in sign language
Are people being paranoid? It seems that every day we hear a late-breaking news story about some famous person being accused of rape or some well-paid manager sexually harassing an employee. Then we hear heart ripping tales of Margaret, the defeated female who sucked her boss' penis to keep her nine to five pencil pushing. It just tears us apart at the evil in this world, and how that evil always starts with "he".
A while ago, there was a commercial on TV where a black person dressed in "gang" clothes and walked into a convenience store to get some chips. The point of the commercial was that the store employee had been warily checking to see whether the guy had a gun, implying that he was a stereotypical black sent into the store to rob and pillage. In actuality, he was not.
Sexual harassment is much the same way. A man lays a hand on the shoulder of an unwilling female and she calls "intended rape"... she'll probably get simple assault at the least. You look at a female in a weird way, and she'll lay claim to "undressing her with his eyes". You tell a joke to your buddies in the crew room and just as you finish it and the laughs ring around, a woman walks in, redfaced. She heard the last bits of the joke, and is "extremely offended". She files sexual harassment. She will most likely win.
This is how the judicial system works. It's sad to realize, and you can refute this up the ass, but it's sad to know that man is considered the dominant sex. We've allowed women to speak more openly about what man has done to her by attempting to give more of a regress to what she has been through. And I know putting the rapist behind bars is never going to be good enough. The emotional trauma that a victim is put through is really unmatched. I don't dare to compare it to anything.
Let's play typical mad scientist for a while. A woman walks into the bosses office, with full lips, wonderful hair, and "Perfum de IWantARaise". Sweet smelling, she struts up to the desk and leans over, giving the boss a nice shot of her silicon cleavage. Fifteen minutes later, with words alone, she gets her raise. A day later, the boss invites her out to dinner, and she accepts. The next day at work, the boss makes more advancements on her and she cries "sexual harassment". She will win.
But who is at fault? I say the boss. Why? Because as much as work is a dominant and submissive environment (the boss over the employee, much like the rapist over the victim), sex should have no color, no weight, and no factor. The boss should know that... the employee should know that also. The boss is at fault for falling victim to the sexual flirtation.
And as much as it was inappropriate for the employee to dress in tight skirts and struggling blouses, it will always be appropriate for others to tell her she is in the wrong. The others were at fault also... they let the employee dress that way (and probably enjoyed it also).
The intention is not to bash women, that wouldn't be politically correct. But neither is it politically correct to be prejudiced about sex. Yet, that is what we see. It's always the big bad man, and the innocent woman. Every male in the world can now be seen as a sexmonger and one "you stay away from for your own good." Women have earned a "get out of relationship" free card... one that spells a magical word in four little strokes.
When the word "rape" comes along (and how frequently it does), people think of a couple of things. They remember all the "sexually perverted" men who are in jail serving their time. They think of a blurred movie in their head, with the man dominating over the woman, her struggling, him holding her and unzipping his pants. They can hear the woman shouting out "no, no, no! help!". They can feel regret for what this woman has gone through. As much as the store clerk believed the black man was stereotypical, all we feel, think, and hear about rape is stereotypical also. This is what movies have told us, this is what America's Most Wanted has "simulated" for us.
Do men come along and say "I think I'll go out and rape someone tonight"? News reports say they do. I agree and disagree. You can't get into someone's head at the minute of decision and find out what they were thinking. In some rare and extreme cases, with multiple offenders, I believe premeditation occurs. The keywords are "rare" and "extreme". Most of the time, I think Johnny is walking around, horny because he couldn't find a good show on TV to jerk off to, and he sees this beautiful woman. He busts a seam, his mind races, he doesn't give much thought to the consequences, and it happens. When he's in court, he's labeled as a threat to mankind and the victim is seen as the helpless one.
And I agree. I do think he is a threat to mankind. Anyone who preempts thinking for a little explosion of white (sometimes clear) fluid is a danger. The issue here is really the man's inbred desire to dominate over something, to be the one in control, to be the leader.
But, to reverse, give man the benefit of the doubt. By being the equivalent of the store clerk, women (and we'll throw in the media also) dummy man up into a barbaric gender, constantly thinking about the firehose between their legs. This is simply not true.
We never take into consideration (clouded out by blood lust) that the woman might also be at fault. This is why "Disclosure" was such a hard idea to swallow. Woman at fault? That's crazy! Why, women can wear whatever they want to a club. Women don't have to cover up when walking to their car. Women don't have to worry about how they appear to the opposite sex when they are "off-hours".
Remember the woman wearing "Perfum de IWantARaise"? What if she was the one walking that night in skin tight clothes? What if the boss she seduced was walking that night also, crossing paths in the dark park? Eclipse a few hours. The boss is in jail, the woman is weak, teary eyed, and pressing charges. What the police don't know is what we know: The woman was partly at fault for using her sex as an influencing force. The other employees were at fault for not saying anything. The boss was at fault for making sex a factor.
I want to be the first to say that I have not even touched the whole complexity of what rape is. I knew how controversial this topic could be, so I passed it around to both male and female a couple of days before the release. The results were varied, but always strong. There is a lot of taboo concerning rape, and some people don't care to talk about it at all.
Rape is something that I will never experience, and as such, something which I can't adequately explain from the feminine viewpoint. Someone commented that I place too much fault on women, making this a great "guy article". That is not what I intended... I merely wanted to give other sides of a coin that has too many as it is. Were the above logic true, one could say that I would want all the women raped in the past to drudge up their memories and find out what THEY did wrong.
That's the furthest one could get from the truth.
The only way I figured I could get a feminine point of view was to ask. I would like to thank Ivy, who wrote that which follows, for her quick response in my time of want.
morbus is a nuthead
"In response to the serial rapist who's been terrorizing a neighborhood in Texas, law enforcement officers warned women to lock their doors and windows and to take other precautions so they don't give him the opportunity to strike." The personal safety advice is well intentioned, and most of the recommendations make sense. We should all be concerned about safety and take steps to protect ourselves. But the extraordinary focus on what women should do to prevent rape reinforces one of the most troubling myths about rape, that victims (not perpetrators) are responsible for sexual assault. That's simply not true.
Failing to lock doors and windows or going out alone at night doesn't cause rape. Indeed, it's not HER responsibility to prevent rape. It's HIS obligation to stop doing it. But society accepts sexual violence as a fact of life. Women are taught it's a violent world out there; that men rape and women must protect themselves. He learns at an early age that boys will be boys. Girls are warned not to talk with strangers. Boys learn that sometimes they just can't control themselves. Society tells her to take responsibility for her own protection to prevent rape. He learns it's just a game. Rape is a violent, vicious crime. It is a crime of power, control and domination. It is not a crime of sex.
But then again, this refers to a specific type of rape. Yes, there are many shades and all situations differ. In this type I am talking about just some woman and a man that she has never met. Yet there are other aspects of rape. Shall we consider date rape? Two people that know each other decide to go out and have a good time and involve their activities with alcohol. In the case of alcohol, both are probably just having confused emotions at the time. Things get a little steamy, yet both are drunk. One thing leads to another and the next morning the girl cries rape. Both are responsible for what happened, they both chose to drink. In this case most of the time the male always takes the blame. I am not sure if I agree with this... the girl was very irresponsible by choosing to drink past her level of awareness.
Ok then, lets talk about the type where the girl supposedly leads the man on. She has on a really short skirt, bats her eyes at him, and uses body language to imply things. Of course, the man gets excited and things proceed. He take her home, she invites him in, she starts to kiss and fondle him. He gets even more worked up. She decides at the last minute that it is time for him to go because she wants to go to bed. He gets angry and forces her to have sex. Should he take the total blame? On this one, I think so. A woman has the right to change her mind. A man should be able to control himself. But to me it's very simple... No means NO! and Yes means YES!
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As forcible rape statistics tell us that more MEN experience that through prison rape than women do via walking down the streets assaulted by a stranger. So dont be so quick to say you will never experience it, nor to categorize it as a feminine issue, because it isn't, thanks.
Ivy, get a life. Even prison gang rape can mostly be avoided by acting different when in the prison environment. Dont insult our intelligence by making us think women can do nothing about rape. I would chance to say that most of what is called rape today can and could have easily been avoided by the woman, and the reality of that is what keeps the judges and juries from leveling the heavy sentences that "womens groups" keep calling for. Rape may be a crime of violence, but it is definately one under the category of sex crime, using violence to force a person. True forcible rape where the victim did nothing to bring it on should be soundly judged and the rapist should be killed.
Rape where the woman was contributory toward it should not. If every sex act between man and woman (hetrosexual) is criminalized like the lesbos in the woman's movement want then we will be left with no true rape. Just like the people who claim hundreds of millions of africans to have been killed in the middle passage undermine the cause of explaining the evils of slavery by their ludicrious math (there are often more middle passage deaths claimed than there were africans on the continent at the time). The average man/woman on the street is to clever to fall for the claims of those who have gone overboard on the idea that "one out of every four men is a rapist", and that the victim has nothing to do with the crime. Sometimes the crimes that happen happen just because of plain stupidity. What in heavens name were you doing with that group of guys at that place at that time of night??? We have thrown common sense out the window for the sake of a few fools. Yes punish real rape by killing KILLING the rapist, but those who have contributed to the rape by either leading the person on or by other assinine actions are on their own.
it sounds liek you think it our fault that we stereotype men as animals. the news media constanly over covers these stories and gives us these statisics...i dont remember them exactly but as i remember it they basically spelled out tha i will probably be raped before i'm 25. and then theres allways after that...but yeah you can prove untruths with statistics but many of my friends have been beaten, violated or raped by men. see theres a minority of men who commit vicious crimes against people who are smaller than them just because they can. they are they beginning of the problem. then the news media then people like my mother who constantly say things about how evil men are. i also want to point out that often men use threats or flaunt there muscles for power, this is no worse that women using their sexuality...yes they are both wrong
aahhhh for once an opposing viewpoint on the subject!! to believe that i was a victim(?) of this crime you name.. and to have my opinions so off the wall is really unheard of nowdays. women usually do promote rape. before you take a drink, before you unzip someone's pants you have to make up your mind of 'am i going to sleep with this person?' if the answer is no.. tell them. right away. i bet it'll eliminate 80% of the rape cases in this country!!!!!!!!! i don't think you can say that you wanted to pull away with your pants down and his pecker aimed straight for your love cave.... that's too bad.. that's too late. you can't decide not to swim after you've already jumped off the dive. i have a million cliches for this.. let me stop..