__ __ \ \ /_/i e w e r issue 9 vol. 2 Nov. 23/99 \ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266 \__| |/ v_d@iname.com | _ |/ archived at disobey.com |___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/ __ __________________ _ __________________ _ _________________ __ __ ________________ _ __________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ______________ _ __________________ _ _____________________ __ T h e r e a r e 3 8 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . . In this issue: WELCOME QUOTABLE PORNHOLE TRUE NEWSSTORIES WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER - BY BUNNIE23 NAME CHANGE SHITE STEAL SOMETHING DAY - FROM THE OPIRGT-ACRAG LIST ANAGRAMSHITE FROM THE WORMHOLE-LIST AMAZON.MORON.COMSHITE ETC :: WELCOME :: Welcome to the "who wants to be a WHITE millionaire" issue. I've watched a few of those Regis millionaire shows and noticed that almost every one of the contestants have been pasty-faced-white-assed-upper- middle-class-mr-and-mrs-America types. Seeing all these privileged white folks along with Regis' syrupy comments is enough to make me puke. I mean, I don't even have cable and only get about 10 channels and fucking Regis has to be on one of them almost every fucking time I turn the TV on. Thank god I don't have cable. Ah twell (as Morbus would say). WARNING: This is issue sucks. And now we break for some words from our readers... Angie C. had this to say about last issue's bovine sperm contest item: i can't believe you didn't sign me up for some fresh, warm bull spunk. i cd really use that. Hmmm...I bet you say that to all the boys Actually, she being the good sport that she is, she even wished Morbus all the best with his winnings: tell Morbus to use it and use it well. this is a civilization with little hope. Hmm... Do you mean civilization has little hope *because* of Morbus getting his grubby little mitts on some bovine "spunk"? Or that we're just fucked in general and it's not Morbus fault? Well anyways, if any non-farmer could find use for bovine spunk Morbus would be the guy On the topic on no questions to the LET'S ASK ANGIE column idea, Angie had this to say (talkative little thang ain't she? Heard she's a mighty fine cook as well - the little dawll - just waiting on doe-mestication, uh huh ): on another note, i guess none of your readers are out in the dating world or if they are, they have no questions to ask. this is probably because they are dead. i think i've dated a couple of them. Maybe she really could have used that bovine spunk after all. Maybe Morbus will share? Morbus, you get yer spunk yet? Angie then added this little inquiry (to which I don't know, nor do I want to know the answer): p.s. i do hope the bull spunk was extracted using humane methods? did someone wank him off, or maybe throw him a copy of Cowsmopolitan??? Inquiring minds and all that. Nuff said on that topic. On other topics that I don't remember, AFeXT had this to vomit: Die bitch! Die! SLAP! <-there's a bitchslap for your punk ass lol, uhmm..hmm... I've got a big thing coming up, that VD readers might like (not BlairWoods related) Dude, the only big thing you have coming up is your boyfriend's d - uh never mind, hehehe I'm sure AFeXT will share all with us when he deems the time to be right. And in response to AFeXT's offer to fuck Goatboy last issue, Goatboy had this to say: I'll try anything, once. OK. Maybe AFeXT really does have "a big thing coming up" hehehehe. But, uh, Goaty I know you've been under tremendous stress as of late but weigh this out in yer mind: Davinder -- AFeXT (beautiful woman) (ick) I shouldn't have to say any more (and I say that never having seen AFeXT). In unrelated news... Anti-Press has a new issue out and it's damn good. Better than this piece of shite you're reading now. But that's not saying much really is it? Trust me though, it's good - real good. Check it out at low bandwidth. And disregard all the rumours you hear about A-P getting stuck in a chimney of some seedy store - they're *probably* not true. Anyways, I have a fucker of a headache and I don't want to talk to you anymore. So read the issue or delete it or whatever - I don't care. But remember this - while Jesus may love you, everyone else thinks you're a jerk. Enjoy the issue. :: QUOTABLE :: "must go, thanks for the giggles." -Angie C. "My bum farted!" -Sasha aged 3 :: PORNHOLE TRUE NEWSSTORIES :: I was listening to the news the other day when they told of some loser who actually got stuck in the chimney of a porn store. Seems the moron tried to break in Santa like and managed to get down about 2 feet below the roof before he got stuck (maybe he got a hard-on?). Anyways the fire department had to be brought in to knock hole in the wall to free the guy - A 33 year old male. He was charged with b&e, intent and breach of parole. He was probably a Yank. Probably lived in Plattsburgh to boot . :: WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER - BY BUNNIE23 :: Yes folks, with only 38 days to go VD's got its very first why2kay poem! Woohoo!!! Read it and weep baby...(-Ed) Wake Me When It's Over by bunnie23 ---------------------------------- I want to see a movie about Y2K where nothing much happens and it's just another day. No panic in the streets or people running amok maybe a few sleepy drunks get squashed by a garbage truck All the millennium hype leaves me cold and I could type about how dull it is until I get very old I think I've made my point Y2K is so boring I'll be sleeping peacefully (but not snoring) hello bunniee http://www.dangermedia.org/bunniee :: NAME CHANGE SHITE :: Someone sent me this scan of an actual (as far as I can tell) personal add placed in some US (of course) paper. Here's what it said: "Notice is hereby given that an application will be made to the Director of Vital Statistics for a change of name, pursuant to the provisions of the "Name Act" by me: Todd Corbett of 9290-148 A St. as follows: To change my name from TODD ALLAN CORBETT to HEYWOOD JABLOWME. Dated this 6 day of OCTOBER, 1998." Bwahahahahha Hmmm...too bad this guy didn't know about LET'S ASK ANGIE cause that sounds like a viable question... I bet he's well versed about bovine spunk. :: STEAL SOMETHING DAY - FROM THE OPIRGT-ACRAG LIST :: This item is self explanitory. My wife received it and forwarded it to me and I forwarded it to you and so on and so on... To: opirgt-acrag@lists.tao.ca Date: November 15, 1999 7:17 PM Subject: san: Steal Something Day! (fwd) Celebrate STEAL SOMETHING DAY November 26, 1999 Participate by participating! a shameless 24-hour stealing spree! http://tao.ca/~lombrenoire For the past eight years, a few self-described "culture jammers" from Adbusters Magazine have dubbed the last Friday in November "Buy Nothing Day." >From their stylish home base in Vancouver's upscale suburb of Kitsilano, the Adbusters' brain trust has encouraged conscientious citizens worldwide to "relish [their] power as a consumer to change the economic environment." In their words, Buy Nothing Day "[p]roves how empowering it is to step out of the consumption stream for even a day." The geniuses at Adbusters have managed to create the perfect feel-good, liberal, middle-class activist non-happening. A day when the more money you make, the more influence you have (like every other day). A day which, by definition, is insulting to the millions of people worldwide who are too poor or marginalized to be considered "consumers." It's supposed to be a 24-hour moratorium on spending, but ends up being a moralistic false-debate about whether or not you should really buy that loaf of bread today or ... wait for it ... tomorrow! Well, this year, while the Adbusters cult enjoys yet another Buy Nothing Day, accompanied by their fancy posters, stickers, TV and radio advertisements and slick webpages, a few self-described anarcho- situationists from Montreal's East End are inaugurating Steal Something Day. Unlike Buy Nothing Day, when people are asked to "participate by not participating," Steal Something Day demands that we "participate by participating." Instead of downplaying or ignoring the capitalists, CEOs, landlords, small business tyrants, bosses, PR hacks, yuppies, media lapdogs, corporate bureaucrats, politicians and cops who are primarily responsible for misery and exploitation in this world, Steal Something Day demands that we steal from them, without discrimination. The Adbusters' intelligentsia tell us that they're neither "left nor right," and have proclaimed a non-ideological crusade against over consumption. Steal Something Day, on the other hand, identifies with the historic and contemporary resistance against the causes of capitalist exploitation, not its symptoms. If you think over consumption is scary, wait until you hear about capitalism and imperialism. Unlike the misplaced Buy Nothing Day notion of consumer empowerment, Steal Something Day promotes empowerment by urging us to collectively identify the greedy bastards who are actually responsible for promoting misery and boredom in this world. Instead of ignoring them, Steal Something Day encourages us to make their lives as uncomfortable as possible. As we like to say in Montreal: de'ranger les riches dans leurs niches! And remember, we're talking about stealing, not theft. Stealing is just. Theft is exploitative. Stealing is when you take a yuppie's BMW for a joyride, and crash into a parked Mercedes just for the hell of it. Theft is when you take candy from a baby's mouth. Stealing is the re-distribution of wealth from rich to poor Theft is making profits at the expense of the disadvantaged and the natural environment. Stealing is an unwritten a tax on the rich. Theft is taxing the poor to subsidize the rich. Stealing is nothing more than a tax on the rich. There is solidarity in stealing, but property is nothing but theft. So, don't pay for that corporate newspaper, but steal all of them from the box. Get some friends together and go on a "shoplifting "spree at the local chain supermarket or upscale mall. With an even larger mob, get together and steal from the local chain book or record store. Pilfer purses and wallets from easily identified yuppies and business persons. Skip out on rent. Get a credit card under a fake name and don't pay. Keep what you can use, and give away everything else in the spirit of mutual aid that is the hallmark of Steal Something Day. Download our detourned poster , make copies and stick it up wherever you can. And don't forget, send your scamming and stealing tips to us at . See you next Steal Something Day which, unlike Buy Nothing, happens every day of the year. (I downloaded the posted and put it on the outside of my office door. I fully expect someone to steal it -Ed.) :: ANAGRAMSHITE FROM THE WORMHOLE-LIST :: I got this little gem from the wormhole (wormhole-list@wormhole.org) list I'm on. It's pretty neat. > This is really spooky..... > > An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made > by or rearranging the letters of another word or > phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone > out there either has way too much time to waste or is > deadly at Scrabble. > > Word When you rearrange the letters > -------------------------------------------------------- > Dormitory Dirty Room > Desperation A Rope Ends It > The Morse Code Here come Dots > Slot Machines Cash Lost in 'em > Animosity Is No Amity > Mother-in-law Woman Hitler > Snooze Alarms Alas! No More Z's > Alec Guinness Genuine Class > Semolina Is No Meal > The Public Art Galleries Large Picture Halls, I Bet > A Decimal Point I'm a Dot in Place > Eleven plus two Twelve plus one > Contradiction Accord not in it > Astronomer Moon Starer > Princess Diana End Is A Car Spin > > AND HERE IS THE MOST INTRIGUING PART > Year Two Thousand A Year To Shut Down :: AMAZON.MORON.COMSHITE :: I happened to be researching some Tarot card decks and followed a few links to an item on sale through amazon.com. Those of you familiar with amazon know that anyone can post reviews of items for sale there. Well, what follows below are the actual comments, typos and abuse of the English language unedited, from a moron reviewer of a very cool Tarot deck. I've read this about a dozen times and I still can't make heads or tails of it. Must be one of those right wing religious bozos from down south...(no offence A-P I meant further south ) > re: Barbara Walker Tarot Deck > A reader from tropical california , September 29, 1999 tarot cards > are very hurtful and zero life rate-1to100+ Reason why tarot crds are > games which come true and ,just as cartoons artists they they use as > witchcraft to makes come to show cast injoynment! in profit of those > of the artists even cartoons ..which are just one whom makes the big > profit ,for them in get ussed for wear sex in contrail off the net in > governmemt power blue angles art flying. to clear that up wicked is > those whome think they loved thier arts acting and cartoons to profit > in the tropical lands they call earth past in future In hell in out > on the profits ones like I debra feel just at no joke or fools in > those of artsist hit and ,injury thier own think love for theirs > angles fly in they do,also catoons do just like tarot cards do late > go of the art you sont want a live ever say good by late it die out > !dont show it ever a gane for it was just a hateful game you'll injoy > playing .ALSO CANT MAKE IT IN A WORLD MONEY IS ALWAYS OWED IN LIFE IS > NOT LIFE!and I want out!!!!!1111,Idont want to play the game of barry > a. michelle please help stop the conviction hate! this toy as my > exfreinds raged me very ugly great.Inot one to do with out rape our > wet to put out a lie ! so they live so many lies. > > sincerely > > reboe Debra thedarkness And then her head exploded -Ed. :: ETC :: You can catch VD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. If you want VD delivered to your mailbox, send an empty email to: v_d-subscribe@makelist.com Conversely, if you don't want VD, figure it out (it has something to do with empty mail and v_d-unsubscribe@makelist.com - duh). If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to v_d@iname.com or don't. Next issue December 11/99 __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"... Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at: http://www.disobey.com/text/ Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah. Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh. Publication by Disobey. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion ...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on. __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __