__ __ \ \ /_/i e w e r issue 21 vol. 1 May 11/99 \ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266 \__| |/ v_d@iname.com | _ |/ archived at disobey.com |___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/ __ __________________ _ __________________ _ _________________ __ __ ________________ _ __________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ______________ _ __________________ _ _____________________ __ T h e r e a r e 2 3 4 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . . In this issue: WELCOME QUOTABLE SUBMITTED BY STUDIO GUILLOTINE NO FRILLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED - BY GUTTERVISION BEESHITE ETC :: WELCOME :: Welcome to the "Gary's birthday" issue. Who is Gary you ask? He's the same person I have a thank-you to on The Annihilation Fountain. Gary is the brother I never had. We became inseparable friends when we were 15 years old. We hung out together and shared our love of cars, motorbikes, movies, adventure, hell, even girlfriends. His obsession with computers in turn got me interested in them as well - I would even say he is directly responsible for me having a career in IT field today. Unfortunately Gary died on March 9, 1996 from cystic fibrosis. He was almost 34. What a shame. Happy Birthday buddy. On to happier things... A relatively small issue this time around as I'm really busy and not really concentrating on this. Actually I'm just babbling on here not really aware of what my fingers are typing so if I offend you, sorry. Bla. see I bought a bunch of Rollo candies the other day, you know the chocolate covered caramel thingies, and now I'm sugar rushing woo hoo! In other news... In response to my ragging about the recent shootings in Colorado one of my favourite readers had this to say: > From: bunnie23 > Things like that don't happen in Canada, eh? HA. Notice the guy was > wearing a trenchcoat, even if it was the wrong colour. > > http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/americas/9904/28/canada.shooting.03.ap/ > > bunniee For those of you who don't know what this is about, on Wednesday April 28th, in a small backwater, religious town in Alberta, Canada a kid wearing a blue trenchcoat walked into a high school and shot 2 students, killing one and injuring the second. Well, it's either God's fault or that wacko Yankee media influence I tell ya... And when Morbus read this in the last issue: > Morbus doesn't appear courtesy of lazyass.com He had this to say: > Fucker ... Never at a loss for words that boy.... Unfortunately Morbus isn't with us again this issue due to an abrupt, unscheduled move. Hopefully by the time he reads this he'll be settled down somewhere else in that wasteland called New Hampshire... And last but not least, our friend Anti-Press had this to say regarding Goatboy's comments on A-P's comments about Canada. Clear as mud right? > Enjoyed VD #20 DESPITE the Ugly American remarks . We must > respond to that statement by Goatboy that we've never been to Canada > as indicated by our list of Popular Canadian Images. For the > record, we've been up there lots of times-- well, to Quebec. Hmmm, > then again, maybe we really HAVEN'T been to Canada... Yeah, you have. Quebec is as Canadian as you can get. Of course the only problem with Quebec City is all those Ugly American tourists, hehe . Man, I know I'm gonna start getting mail because I'm picking on all you Americans out there...but y'all are such easy targets, hehehe oops, did it again didn't I?.... And speaking of A-P - hopefully you got past the SWM discrimination factor and found a new Reality Centre. Too much moving going on down there...it must be Landlords-are-Assholes Month in the U.S... Hmm....Got any Landlords-are-Assholes tales from anywhere else you want to share? Send them to VD and we'll let you get some electronic revenge... Hell got any making-fun-of-Americans stories? hehehe Anyways, enough Yank bashing (for now ) and on with the issue. Enjoy it or don't. It's up to you, I'm too high on sugar to care. :: QUOTABLE SUBMITTED BY STUDIO GUILLOTINE:: "The arts of power and its minions are the same in all countries and in all ages. It marks its victim; denounces it; and excites the public odium and the public hatred, to conceal its own abuses and encroachments." -Henry Clay, From: Speech in the Senate, March 14, 1834 "There is no way of keeping profits up but by keeping wages down." -David Ricardo "Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education." -Bertrand Russell "If you rub it in, both at home and abroad, that you are ready for instant war, with every unit of your strength in the first line and waiting to be first in, and hit your enemy in the belly and kick him when he is down, and boil your prisoners in oil (if you take any), and torture his women and children, then people will keep clear of you." -John Arbuthnot Fisher, British Admiral 1841-1920 :: NO FOOLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY:: Since working in a grocery store sucks, to say the least, we try to make it as much fun as possible. This is usually done by playing pranks on each other, throw tomatoes and eggs in a battle of the fittest and lately, draw cartoons of each other doing obscene things with cucumbers, rutabagas, watermelons, cashier number 6.. Last Sunday I was leaving work, and someone mentioned that the produce department had hit my car. Last time I heard that, I had to run to my car as a shower of tomatoes landed all over the parking lot and onto my windshield. To this day, there are seeds stuck on the hood. So as I left, I kept looking back at the smiling produce guys, waiting for them to start a bombardment, when on the windshield of my car I see a large piece of cardboard. The piece of cardboard had the following written on it: EAST ASIAN PROSTHETICS Co. Ltd. Please follow instructions carefully. Instructions: 1. Open in front of: family members, girlfriend, class, special ceremonies. I look inside my car and there is a cardboard box with a red ribbon on it. The words "Fragile" are written all over the box. I open the box (in front of my girlfriend who had come to pick me up from work) and inside a find a giant penis made from a banana and two onions taped together. Another red ribbon tied at the tip of the circumcised banana. 2. Remove article with care from box. 3. Install perpendicularly to abdominal body area at 90 degree angle. 4. Perform riverdance in circular motion, holding article firmly while alternating hands on every jump. Cautions: - Maximum rubbing speed must not exceed 1200 strokes/second. - Each time when performed must not exceed 5 hours in duration or there will be severe repercussions. - Keep away from mature females. - Warranty shall be void when article is misused, mishandled or used too much. Beside never laughing so hard, now I am stuck with the dilemma of topping this one off. I mean, they put water in my jacket, I put their boots in water and froze them. They put a rotten squash in my bag, and I retaliated with an explosive coke. But this? I'll leave you as I stare at my vegetables and seek inspiration. :: THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED :: "Great spirits have always met with violent opposition from mediocre minds" Albert Einstein GUTTERVISION is an alternative high-culture program geared for the Generation X audience. With its emphasis on music, performance, art and artist interviews, GUTTERVISION provides exposure to new acts in a format that reflects the true world of each artist and the experience and expectations of the fans. GUTTERVISION is the next step in America's underground scene. GUTTERVISION patrols the art trenches across the United States, bringing to life the sights and sounds of alternative art, humour, and drama. GUTTERVISION has an artistic freedom unavailable to other so- called "cutting edge" programs and features never-seen-before, never-to- be-seen-again music videos by The Cramps, NIN, My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult, Danzig, Dead Can Dance, and many others. For those who are prepared, GUTTERVISION offers the opportunity to be devoured by the night in the privacy of ones own home. For further information GUTTERVISION "High Defiance Television" P.O. BOX 16343 N. Hollywood, CA 91615 (818) 753-6668 Voice Mail WWW.GUTTERVISION.COM WEBSITE :: BEESHITE :: >From Wired News A Bee Siege 3:00 a.m. 10.May.99.PDT A truck carrying millions of bees overturned, releasing a black cloud of angry bees that closed a highway in Maine for eight hours. Fire-fighters were helpless to deal with the situation until professional beekeepers gave them some good advice: Spraying the hives with water calmed the bees so crews could load them onto another truck. One officer explained the bees were fooled into thinking the weather had changed and stayed in their hives to wait out the rain. --- Hmmm...Stephen King lives in Maine...watch for this theme to crop up in a new novel soon... You heard it hear first... :: ETC :: You can catch VD in just about any gutter...really. But if you want VD delivered to your mailbox, you have to send an empty email to: v_d-subscribe@makelist.com Conversely, if you don't want VD or enjoy the gutter life, then send an empty email to: v_d-unsubscribe@makelist.com And we'll unsub your unappreciative, unworthy, underachieving ass. Pretty simple huh? Well, most of the time for most of the people. If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to v_d@iname.com or don't. Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth - http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm because Morbus cares, he really cares. Morbus doesn't appear courtesy of landlords-are-assholes.com Goatboy appears courtesy of capnasty.org Everyone else appears here 'cause I ripped 'em off but at least I gave them credit. And a parting thought ripped from Goatboy's sigfile: "Interesting, isn't it, that the Pope drives around in a car with bullet-proof glass in the window. Jesus Christ never wore nail-proof gloves, though, did he?" -John Dowie Next issue May 25/99 __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"... Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at: http://www.disobey.com/text/ Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah. Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh. Publication by Disobey. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion ...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on. __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __