__ __ \ \ /_/i e w e r issue 7 vol. 1 october 27/98 \ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266 \__| |/ v_d@iname.com | _ |/ archived at disobey.com |___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/ __ __________________ _ __________________ _ _________________ __ __ ________________ _ __________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ______________ _ __________________ _ _____________________ __ In this issue: WELCOME QUOTABLE THE REEF HORROR - BY MORBUS BOOKSHITE ETC :: WELCOME :: Welcome to the "my wedding ring won't off my finger any more and I wonder if it is a sign of some kind" issue. Uh, yeah. Really. I attempted to remove my wedding ring last weekend to clean up after handling a particularly vile diaper (too much information I know, but hey, wait, maybe shit on one's wedding ring is another sign...mental note for another issue), and needless to say, even with lots of soap the damn thing wouldn't budge. Hmmm... So I started thinking (which usually gets me in trouble), what if I were to get divorced? How would I get it off? I mean, I don't plan on getting divorced; I love my wife very much but one never really knows for sure. But seeing as I've yet to find any lawyers cards or do-it-yourself divorce kits laying around the house, I'd say things are just in one of those valleys looking for a peak... But the damn ring still won't come off. I don't really need it off now (I did managed to get all the baby poop off of it and my fingers), but I would like to be able to if I want to. Maybe it's just a control thing on my part? I don't know. Maybe it's the beginning's of a midlife crisis a decade or so early? Maybe I should just buy a Corvette and get it over with? Or maybe I should just shut the fuck up and get on with this issue? Whatever it is, it sure as hell looks like the wedding ring ain't coming off (and that's probably a good thing) unless I cut it, or the finger, off... Thank God it's not a cockring... In the "if it weren't for bad luck he'd have no luck at all" department, everyone should give a big 'aaaahhhh, poor guy' to Goatboy who busted a couple ribs doing a triple gainer with a full backwards twist down a flight stairs into a wall. The wall won. Cards, gifts, chuckles, abuses, offers of sexual favours, etc. can be sent to goatboy@capnasty.org Anyways, enjoy the issue and remember any comments, prophecies, suggestions, rants, etc. are most welcome. But please, no poop. Send them to v_d@iname.com :: QUOTABLE :: "I think the 20th century has been a gigantic mistake." -Diana Green in a letter to The Compleat Mother magazine :: THE REEF :: This week we have a great, full colour, 63 page book entitled _Surviving Doomsday_ by C. Bruce Sibley. The title says it all. This is a manual for surviving a nuclear holocaust. It was published in 1977 and is chock full of statistical data about various countries nuclear arsenals, the effects of radiation, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, etc. It's got a great chapter on chemical weapons - how they're made, distributed and illustrations of their effects on people. It gets into all sorts of weaponry related talks including a section called "Exotic Weaponry" that is pretty neat. My favourite section though is a 2 page spread entitled "Scenario for a Third World War". It begins on Monday the 1st and goes through to Tuesday the 23rd, describing the build up of world tensions until the final shoot-out. Very well done (for 1977). This section actually seems like the outline of a great novel. Overall I recommend picking this up if you see it lying around some second hand book store. It's detailed enough, yet easy enough to read to be well worth your time - especially now that the cold war is over and all we have to worry about are extremist groups buying nuclear arms on the underground market... Seriously. Terrorism will reach new heights when the extremists begin detonating suitcase sized nuclear bombs on the corner of Main Street, downtown USA. Watch for it. Coming soon to a city near you. And I'll sit back and read my Surviving Doomsday book and eat Spam and drink bottled water and live underground and shoot any motherfucker who tries to get near me... :: HORROR - BY MORBUS :: Bride of Chucky "Just because I ate a large meal 20 minutes ago doesn't mean I can't get a bag of popcorn", I justified to myself as I sat through dumb ass Sony Theatre's Big Ass Pepsi Commercial-a-thon. Sitting to see BRIDE OF CHUCKY, the fifth in the series, and as you will be able to tell by the ending, definitely not the last. You should have felt that one coming just by reciting the title mantra to yourself a couple of times. This movie just oozes sequel. This movie *does* have Chucky "die" a bunch of different ways, as does his bride (played by Jennifer Tilley). And this movie *does* have the coolest, most bloody death that I have seen this year (graphical shot of guy getting hit by a Mack truck and blood and parts splurting everywhere... no fade to black, no scene change, just "oh shit!", Splllaattt! I couldn't help but burst out laughing at how cool it was.) And this movie *does* have John Ritter in another perfect performance (...). And finally, this movie *does* have close-up doll tonguing and behind-the-curtain doll boning ("do I have a rubber?... Baby, I'm made of rubber!"). But, all in all, this movie should have been sub-titled "Revenge of the Garbage Pail Kids". With Chucky and his Bride smoking weed, more bad jokes and stupid sayings than the Leprechaun had in his whole series, and a severely knifed John Ritter only oozing a tiny bit of blood from the trunk (the same tiny bit of blood that was there when his face got impaled with all those nails), BRIDE OF CHUCKY is entertaining at the most. Really, you should only go for the doll sex and the Mack trucks. :: BOOKSHITE :: Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle This is an end-of-civilization-from-a-comet-hitting-the-Earth story that is quite realistic in its portrayal of what one, or I, imagine(s) would happen if all of a sudden there was no central authority of any kind. No police, no local or federal government, no power, no phones, none of the luxuries that are so completely taken for granted that we don't even see them as luxuries. In a matter of a couple of hours the United States (where the book takes place) is thrown back 100+ years into a agricultural society. There are pockets of areas where technology has survived, but for the most part, 90% of the continent, not only the way of life, but the physical landscape has changed due to massive 1000+ foot tidal waves, earthquakes, etc. One of my favorite scenes in the book is the surfer dude waiting for the tsunami. He rides it inland for miles climbing to the crest, only to run smack into a high-rise building (that's gotta hurt). That just cracked me up. What a loser. Another is the description of the band of survivors holding contests for the kids - the contest being seeing who can catch the most rats. The rats are used for food and their pelts. The rewards for the kiddies are what are potentially the last remaining chocolate bars on Earth. The book is brought to a believable, even satisfying climax, after wading through societal moral issues, religious fanatics and a post apocalyptic war. Enjoyable, entertaining and no Bruce Willis climbing onto a comet and blowing it kinda shit. Worth the read, especially at this time in our history as we approach the big 2000 and the fanatics are starting to come out of the woodwork proclaiming the end of the world due to the dreaded Y2K bug, the 1st, 2nd or 3rd coming of [insert favorite historical religious figure here], poisoning of the environment, general mayhem and upheaval, (see end of the reef above for more examples), etc., etc., etc.... :: ETC :: You can catch VD from tonguing post apocalyptic, rabid rubber dolls or by sending an empty email to v_d-subscribe@makelist.com If you have something you'd like to see in vd or an idea for a section you'd like to write or just want to scream at someone, send a note to v_d@iname.com Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are copy, right Ed? Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth - http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm because only Morbus can talk about "doll-boning" as if it were an art form. Really. Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com Goatboy doesn't appear due to unforeseen circumstances. Doll's boning, baby poop and the end of the world - we got it all baby! Next issue November 10/98 __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"... Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at: http://www.disobey.com/text/ Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah. Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh. Publication by Disobey. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion ...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on. __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __