__ __ \ \ /_/i e w e r issue 2 vol. 1 august18/98 \ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266 \__| |/ v_d@iname.com | _ |/ archived at disobey.com |___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/ __ __________________ _ __________________ _ _________________ __ __ ________________ _ __________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ______________ _ __________________ _ _____________________ __ In this issue: WELCOME QUOTABLE THE REEF HORROR - BY MORBUS WHURL-A-URL BOOKS ZINESHITE ETC :: WELCOME :: Welcome to issue number 2 of this little rag... We gained a few subscribers since the pre-launch drive, welcome aboard people. VD is now also available on the Usenet newsgroups alt.zines and alt.ezines. Possibly a couple of other newsgroups as well, I don't remember - I just hit the damn send button and moved onto other things. This issue is just like the last but totally different, so if you like it pass it on to others. If you hate it, pass it on to others. If you're ambivalent towards it, get a goddamned opinion and quit being so wishy-washy. I don't mean that aggressively, I just really hate people who can make a decision. Why am I telling you this? Hmmm, where's my junkfood. Speaking of junkfood...one of VD's subscriber's found my all time favourite sucker - CHARMS. I haven't had one since I was a kid. I went looking in one of these new all trendy-old-time-candy stores that are opening in Toronto and they didn't have any. After talking to Wanda she found some in a little variety store right here on the university campus!!! Duh... So she gave me a couple and then picked up about 8 more for me. Me and my kids ate them all that night - sticky sweet. Now I never want one again. Bla. But thanks Wanda! On the down side of this junk food praising, I chipped my molar on a blackball candy I picked up at that trendy candy store. $130.00 worth of dental work for a penny candy - my dentist is happy. Thank god for the dental plan where I work. In other news there is a new issue (#7) of The Annihilation Fountain available now (http://www.yorku.ca/academics/neil/taf) - it's the other web based zine I do. Check it out. There is also a text only issue available at http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/annihilation_fountain.htm And now I guess it's time to shut up and get on with the issue.... just call me Kojack. :: QUOTABLE :: How do you order pizza in the woods? A moose's head is a phone!!! KNOCK, KNOCK --who's there BUM BUM --bum bum who BUM BUM HEAD -both from Connor aged 5 :: THE REEF :: See issue 1 for an explanation of what the hell this crap is. This week we pull a wonderful item from The Reef; a sample of the material sent to me by one Russel Zanger of Larchwood, Iowa. Russel heads up 'The Remain Intact ORGAN-ization' - an anti- circumcision group. To say this guy is fanatical is a major understatement. The 4 inch square fluorescent orange sticker on the outside of the envelope he sent me reads "SHOCKING! 'Historians of the future will find it incredible that in our day we mutilated male babies, cutting off the end of their penises!" I wonder what the postal delivery clerk thought?... This particular mailing (he sent me 28 different mailings over a 1 year period) has 30 pages of single spaced text, 1 business card, 1 postcard of Zanger's Airport and flying school, 2 bumper stickers - the 1st one reads "We are Helping STOP Routine Circumcision" (like having the end of your dick cut off is ever routine?!?!), the 2nd one has a drawing a screaming baby strapped down while someone is holding the babe's foreskin up with some tool and slicing it with a scalpel. The text reads "The "UNKINDEST" Cut of All", and finally a florescent orange sticker with a black owl and the text "Child Abuse Begins With Circumcision". The packages this guy sends out must cost him a fortune. I was getting something from him every few weeks. He is certainly devoted to his cause. Some of the information was actually quite informative and became a topic of conversation around my house (we have two boys). The only thing that really annoyed me was the religious crap he slipped in along side of his anti-circumcision pages. Some of his mailings just have to be seen to be believed - one features a large picture of a young, good looking, GQ type of guy naked and uncircumcised with the caption "the average person has about 18 sq. ft. of skin.. Some guys are lucky... They got a coupla extra inches!" Or even better, here's a sample of the printed lyrics to songs by one Jess Grant who "sings songs for boys" who've have a few inches less; "Every time that I go to the bathroom to take a pee I'm holding the evidence of what they did to me They butchered my penis and frankly between us it makes me kind of sad to see That my foreskin's gone, I'm not the man I used to be" Whooodoggie You get the idea.... Personally I hear Willie Nelson singing this for some reason... Maybe one day I'll have this all online for people to browse for themselves.... :: HORROR - BY MORBUS :: Halloween: H20 So I'm sitting in the theatre opening day, first showing... the very first one to get a ticket from this place. I got my popcorn, I got my drink, and I'm ready and hoping for a damn good movie to finish what has become, to many, a favorite horror series. And they did a good job on it... HALLOWEEN: H20 has a damn fitting ending. Some may like it, some may not, and some may think it's too easy. But, in the end (literally), it satisfies... the second time I went to this movie, the audience clapped at the ending. (Side note of import: it gets better the second time around). And I have to ask, what other movie can you see Michael Myers walking around on the same sets with the Butterball Cenobite from HELLRAISER, and Father Death from SCREAM 2? Or see Jamie Lee Curtis act side by side with her mother (from PSYCHO) and see the return (and exit) of Loomis' nurse from the first and second HALLOWEEN? But, on the other hand, this is the movie with the crappiest "first-kill" victim I've ever seen. It's also the movie with changing masks ("compassionate michael mask" and "pissed-off-hit-with-a-rock-michael-mask" amongst others); the movie that failed to explain all of the killings in Halloween 3, 4, 5 or 6, AND the same movie that used a different actor to portray Michael (thus making him look like he was walking with a stick up his ass). Yet, if we had three hands, this is the movie that has so many good scenes embedded within it that you can't help but feel a surge of "wow"-dom. And as the Frankenstein metaphor so adequately explains, her "tumultuous, round, melon breasts"... uh... wait, I'm mixing scenes again. Final consensus: stop fucking with already established theme music, fitting end to a 20 year old series, enough good parts to outweigh the bad... highly recommended. And yes, I will go see it a third time. :: WHURL-A-URL :: We have a winner from last issue!! Valerie M. writes: > I already know this one. > It's www.shit.com. I wonder *why* she knew that?!?! So I sent her a VD created Psycho Circus splash screen not the Microsloth one as mentioned because I lost that one in a computer crash >:\ And here's Valerie's likeness rendered in ASCII for all the world to see: ___ ___ ________________________ / \/ \ / \ | | | Congratulations! | \ w w / | | |O O| | Valerie M. | d| v |b | | | -- | _| You've Won The | | ~ | _ First VD Challenge! | \oooo/ \_________________________/ <\/> Thanks to Morbus for the artwork - VD's official "Bad ASCII, Short Notice" artist. Anyways here's some more WHURL-A-URL fun to test your net saviness. Oh yeah, our crack team of legal eagles found several loop holes in the New Hampshire State Gaming Commission's by-laws and we are able to open this contest to residents of New Hampshire. So let's WHURL-A-URL.... www.the70'ssuckedthe1sttime.com www.deadfishsmellbad.com www.digginginmycrotchforpotatochips.com www.goatsbeforegirls.org www.mum.org www.yousuck.com www.bloodyhell.net Once again, guess which URL is real and this time win an official scanned JPEG of a crappily printed out, signed copy of VD - woohoo!!! Sure to be a collector's item... First person to email v_d@iname.com the correct answer wins. Ready? On your mark, get set, WHURL-A-URL! :: BOOKS :: Clive Barker's _The Great and Secret Show_. This is Book One of the Art. A three part series. This is supreme horror fantasy at its finest. From the opening few pages Mr. Barker pulls the reader into this dark, slightly off kilter world that is also very familiar. His characters are creepy, likeable, nauseating and interesting - sometimes all in one character at the same time. This is the story of evolution pushed, one man's quest for Godhood for all the wrong reasons and the ensuing good versus evil battle that rages around middle America while Mr. & Mrs. Average go about their daily routine. Part two in the series is entitled _Everville_, which is also an excellent continuation, and part three has yet to be released. It's easily found in paperback. Highly recommended. If you want to review a book here send in your review to v_d@iname.com :: ZINESHITE :: A couple of zines that are really, really worth your time: DEVIL SHAT - available on the web at http://www.disobey.com/devilshat - is a "Bastion of immortality, epitome of pointlessness. What do we mean by those big words? An incredibly interesting read with no restriction on material." Get it every two weeks through the web or via email by sending an empty message to morbus@disobey.com with the subject line: Subscribe Devil Shat. Tell them that you heard about 'em in VD. CAPITAL OF NASTY - available on the web at http://www.capnasty.org or via email by sending an empty message to join@capnasty.org - upon which "you will receive a welcoming message WITH CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE. PLEASE READ THEM BEFORE YOU BITCH AT US." CoN or CapNasty is "is a zine dedicated to the proliferation and spreading of the electronic propaganda. Without a true manifesto, CoN sends strange polluting messages through the minds of it's readers in the remote hope of an eventual and complete destruction of fools without a sense of humor. Proudly serving leftist soup since 1994." If you write, edit or publish a zine or website you want mentioned here, send the URL or a copy of the zine to v_d@iname.com and we'll help make you famous. :: ETC :: Remember - few subjects are so innately benign and so universally taboo as menstruation...but we're trying...in the mean time you can catch VD by licking a dirty toilet seat - always wipe before you lick - or you can send an empty email to v_d-subscribe@makelist.com and there's absolutely no wiping involved. If you have something you'd like to see in vd or an idea for a section you'd like to write or just want to scream at someone, send a note to v_d@iname.com Viewer Discretion, VD and all likenesses are copyrighted up the wazoo - so don't even think about it... Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com Yeah, I stole, uh borrowed that menstruation line from Netsurfer Digest, so what? Next issue September 1/98 __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"... Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at: http://www.disobey.com/text/ Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah. Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh. Publication by Disobey. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion ...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on. __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __