. . . : ;  C h i c o ' s   G r o o v e ; : . . .
 . . . : ; 
  . . . : ; xisytriht - june 3 1999
   . . . : ; 
    . . . : ; http://www.disobey.com/



. . . : ; The "WHOOSH, WITH A BREEZE" Notice

Sniff, sniff, summer is here, the breeze rustles the leaves, the trees
talk to the birds, and kids are laughingly playing Frisbee Bowling and
Super Slip N Slide with optional Pit of Doom attachment. Yet, something
is missing, and you can't quite put a finger on it.


. . . : ; The "WE'RE MUTHA-HELLIN' BACK" Notice

Suddenly, it hits you. It's not the missing season finale of Buffy (damn
you Canadians) or the lack of a ticket to "Playtime with Jar Jar", or
even the delivery bag from the newly opened Papa John's... it was
Disobey. Where the hell was Disobey all this time? Read below for news
about the pseudo "E" and more than you ever could handle.


. . . : ; ANNOUNCEMENTS and my nut is on your pillow...

NEW DEVIL SHAT (#FiftyOne): Yeah, yeah, you can tell we've reached fifty
issues - but we don't think we've drilled it into your heads totally
yet. So, one last time, a tribute to the past fifty issues of Devil
Shat, told through the words of John Treacy. Expect bitches, responses,
and reasons why I'm a Nazi. Come on, everyone loves Nazi's.

NEW GHOST SITES (#26): While I was feverishly trying to find someplace
to live, Steve Baldwin was finding yet more haunted sites on this place
we call the Internet. Read about a digerati's death (Hotwired's
Synapse), FanLink, Adam Curry (again) and more. If you don't like David
Hasslehoff, you'll like this issue too...

NEW NETSLAVES: Also released, with much welcome fanfare, was a new issue
of NetSlaves "Surviving the Chat Room Jungle: The Story of Cindy, Social
Worker". Even jaded and seasoned NetSlaves can't wait to see how this
story develops as Cindy interviews a burnt out 60's rock star, with not
a clue how technology works.

LOW BANDWIDTH UPDATED: Along with catching up on all of the archives
that came in during my period of inactivity, there have been five new
listings added to Low Bandwidth - be sure to check them out. Finally am
happy with how the archive dating has been modified, although I'm still
waiting on response from one listing... Slightly pissed as I found the
Low Bandwidth logo was ripped off and used on someone else's site...

MINOR UPDATES: Welp, there are a lot of minor updates because that was
about all I could do during the frenetic attempt to find a new place to
live. So here we go: the "kudos" page has been updated with a crapload
of new places Disobey has been, although we still have a ton more to put
up there (we never stop, heh); removed "all rights reserved" from all of
the copyright notices that appear on Disobey simply because it's an
unneeded phrase; changed "I.C.U." on some of the old Ghost Sites to
"ICU" to keep everything nice and anal (lemme tell ya how anal I am);
all of Disobey uses the new mail CGI script that I set up for the ISP
months ago; the Macintosh version of the Disobey Quote Script has been
updated with all the new quotes as well as a nifty StartupScreen,
hopefully they'll be more options in future releases.

MINOR UPDATES, PART II: The above paragraph was just getting too damn
big for its own good, so onward: went through 1700 occurences of the
word "it's" to make sure that it really deserved the apostrophe (lemme
tell ya how fun that was); the main page gains a couple more seconds of
time as I make the DNN area a little bit bigger to fit more news, also
removed a couple of images whose purpose was bunk (bunk?); Devil Shat
got a crapload of new mail added to it: Issue Four had three added,
Issue Forty Nine had seven added and Issue Fifty had three added. The
main Judgments also had a mail added; NetSlaves also had a bunch of
minor updates involving better designing and code crunching - I'll be
doing some more as the week gets older;


. . . : ; EVERYTHING else and get the cracker and let's go...

SO, MORBUS. WHERE WERE YOU?: The question of the year. And I've repeated
the answer to a crapload of people, so excuse me for being annoying with
answering it to myself. Ok. I'll give you the quick version. My mother,
who is on welfare, decided to kick my sorry ass out of the apartment.
Why? Well, in a nutshell, welfare told her that if she didn't kick me
out of the apartment, then her support from welfare would be cut off.
Now, you might think she's a bad mother. Don't be so hasty! See... I'M
THE HORRIBLE PERSON in this case. Yes! Yes! Lemme continue:

MORBUS, HORRIBLE? NO!: Yes! Welfare has convinced / cajoled my mother
to sign these various papers that say that I have emotionally and 
mentally abused her. And in the most horrible way! Why, they even
suggested that they could get cops to come by to protect my mother
well I was moving my shit out! Yes, isn't this exciting!

WELL, THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BASIS, RIGHT?: Yup, they had to have SOMETHING
to put their allegations up against the wall. The thing to remember is
that these allegations could only have risen if my mother had said
something: I strung wires across the floor which could have caused her
to trip. This is true. I strung a phone wire across the floor because
that's how I had to connect to the Internet. The phone cord stretched
from the living room, where the light was always on (since that was
where my computer was), into the kitchen where the light from the living
room filters into, so the phone cord is easily seen. The phone cord is
also white, easy to see in any condition. The phone cord usually hugged
the wall. There's my rebuttal. My counter-attack: my mother's room, off
the kitchen had no outlets. So, to get electricity into her room, she
had to take an extension cord and plug it into the outlet in the
kitchen. Dangerously enough, the cord stretched across the only entrance
into the kitchen - the same kitchen where the light is usually off. The
extension cord is brown, hard to see in the dark. As opposed to being
loose on the floor, like the phone cord, the extension cord didn't have
much slack, created a tripping hazard an inch above the floor.

MORBUS, DUDE, YOU'RE OFF ON A TANGENT: No, actually, I'm not. The second
allegation was that I hid food in the bedroom. Which, food being in the
bedroom, was true. Food being in the bedroom because I was eating it,
not because I was storing it. And there is one more allegation, which
takes the cake: my mother can't take a piss when I'm around. Yup, you
read it right!

WAIT, HUH? Ok, Morbus had to go to work so he was taking a shower. The 
mother was home. My girlfriend was living with me at the time. She had
to take a shower too. When Morbus got out of the shower, Katie jumped
into the shower to make herself all squeaky clean. I'm sure if my mother
had made some sort of request that she had to empty her bowels of 
stinky waste, than we'd have been more than accommodating. Of course,
she didn't, and she had to use the bathroom at the library. Silence
meant Morbus is a horrible person, in this case.

THERE'S MORE: As with any story, there is more than what I have told
you, but the above has been the most exciting of it all. I was given
seven days to find myself a new apartment, which in this zero vacancy
town is a miracle to accomplish. Plus the fact that I looked like a kid,
had no credit, did something in the Pornographic Littleton Zone (the
Internet, at both work and play, nonetheless) and had an eighteen year
old girlfriend.

THE CONCLUSION: Success at finding an apartment came to me about an hour
before I was to be officially out of a place to sleep. None too soon:
it's a great apartment with a porch larger than most people's living
room. I never thought sitting out in the open air could be so enjoyable.
It took about a week to move in, dodging the social workers that tried
to hunt me down, finding someone to help me move all my crap into the
new apartment, and then getting it all organized. Fun, really, but
tiring. Finally, though, things have settled in, and Disobey will be
back in order. Fret no more, and stop emailing me asking where your shit
is. Back to your regularly scheduled program:

NO, HOLD ON!: What about everything else? Welp, I'm living with my
girlfriend Katie and my partner in crime, John. I have no pets. The
landlord gets loopy every Thursday and drinks beer while playing
horseshoes with his buddies. There are only a few minor things of mine
left at the old apartment: a traffic cone that has "Valerie" written on
the side in black tape, a "Lamar Walked Here" poster, a broken mirror
found on the side of the road, and a big cloth poster which is hung on
the lightpost frames on major streets. I miss them, but if I lose them,
I'll be fine with that.

7 NEW MOVIES AND NEW CD: Sometime, in the past month, I got some new
movies. I wrote down that I got seven new movies, but of course, I
didn't write down the names, because I expected that they'd be an
"unwatched" pile. That pile became obsolete in my mad rush to move. So,
I'm sorry. I doubt I'll be buying that many new movies recently, mainly
for monetary insurance (and dammit, I need a new computer.) I also
bought a new CD: the newest Insane Clown Posse. It's good - with the
Beck cover and so forth, heh...

STEELE WOOL: For my birthday, my girlfriend took me to a country club.
We had intended to go to Boston and spend assloads of money, but it
turned out to be to windy to be comfortable. So, for two days and one
night, I spent my life at the Steele Hill resort playing horse shoes,
eating from a dispensing machine, and walking around the pool and hot
tub. And, heh, watching some of the five movies that we bought at one of
the video stores in town.

THE ADVENTURES OF EMAIL: Once again, a weird message comes through my box,
with no apparent reasoning behind it. If the guy told me about Devil Shat,
or made mention of it, this would have made a lot more sense, but anyways:

   From: "katz" <katz@seward.net>
   Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 11:27:43 -0800

   I have an 8 year old grandson who is clearly acting out on something.
   He got caught writing on the bathroom wall at school and was put in
   detention. This morning his mother found a marking pen in his bag and
   he admitted that he had still been writting on the wall. He is a good
   and very smart child, but the answers we are getting from him are
   "the demons made me do it" and I'm going to kill myself" my daughter
   and I are very confused at this talk from an 8 year old child. My
   daughter took him to the police dept. this morning asking an officer
   to help explain the dangers of writting on the wall and other things
   that a clearly unlawful. They have a appointment with the school
   councelor tomorrow, I suggested to take him to someone a little more
   nuteral. My daughter went to her father for advice, and he said she
   has gone to far and is breaking his spirt,it seems to me that this
   kind of talk should be addressed, and my daughter shouldn't feel
   guilty about trying to help. We would like your oppinion in how to
   help this child? Thank you

This is a great email if you're practicing how to be a Dear Abby. If you
have a great response to this, send it off to the mark, just make sure
to CC: me onto the damn thing. I need some laughs.


. . . : ; BLAHBLAHS OF THE WEEK:    ( april 23rd - june 3rd )

[MultiTask-of-the-Week]-= Shockwave & Spumco
---Having had problems with the Shockwave plugin over the past
---couple of days, I have resorted to going to various sites to
---make sure that it's working properly. I'm not watching the latest
---episode of "Babysitting the Idiot" (episode seven). You should 
---really go watch these things - they'll be classic (go to Spumco's
---website). As a matter of fact, I'm waiting for the credits to go
---by as I'm typing this. Now, I have to stick a duck in a butt. Fun!

[Event-of-the-Week]-= 21
---Damn, I'm old. I can feel it in my bones. I walk up stairs and 
---get winded, I sit down and my bones creak, and I can feel wrinkles
---appearing everywhere. But, hell, it doesn't take much to type so 
---on I go.

[Money-Waster-of-the-Week]-= eBay
---Lemme tell you something. When you're bored, and you have another
---ten minutes before you have to go to work, or meet with your girl
---friend or what have you, DO NOT go search around eBay to see if 
---there is anything you want. The next thing I knew, when all the 
---auctions ended, Disobey was down about two hundred bucks. Within
---a month, we've spent too much money, been in way too many auctions
---and have increased the amount of junk (but cool junk, mind you) that
---has entered our house. Beware. Beware!

[Time-Well-Wasted-of-the-Week]-= Downloading
---I always try to get the latest software updates and newest software
---that appears on some of the various archives on the net. After 
---spending such a long time away from doing that day in and day out,
---the phone line was busy for quite a long time. The funny thing
---is, out of the 90thousand meg boku boku that was downloaded, only
---about 15k was worth it. Damn.

[Suck-Ass-Food-of-the-Week]-= McDonald's Sugar
---So Morbus likes to drink coffee every morning, and he has one 
---packet of sugar within each wonderful cup. He normally uses Equal,
---because that is what was in front of his face years ago, and now he's
---used to it. But he was running out of some, so since he's relatively 
---near McDonald's, he decided to go steal some of theirs. The next day,
---he uses one. Blech! Stank ass coffee! Silly Morbus thinks it's because 
---he was at the end of the freeze dried he was using. So the next day, 
---he uses a fresh scoop and the same McDonald's sugar. Big mistake. 
---Stay away, the granules suck up any sort of flavor your coffee could
---offer you.

[Free-Time-Attempt-of-the-Week] Mailing Lists
---In a pathetic attempt to make it seem like I have more time on 
---my hands, I unsubscribed myself from a crapload of mailing lists.
---Hopefully, I'm thinking, less email means less reply/reading time,
---which means I can spend more time making shit and making shit better.
---That's what I'm hoping, at least.


. . . : ; The Issue Was Too Long For Its Own Good
  
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