Ghyll:Olaff Devork

Olaff Chroverdent Parapparderrappar Jankywhippersnapple G. Devork was an oddly named fellow since the "G." stood for Greg. Born to an unknown father, his mother was a Bindlet Ball steamstress in distress. He is primarily remembered as principal investor in the Harrabloon Bank, founded in -185 EC, and Grand High Lochree* of the Owners Oversight Group, but that's boring so we won't discuss it further.

Olaff was well known in his early finance days for being the inventor of the Pachygraph system; an attempt to miniaturise pachyderms and send them around Ghyll through small tubes by the means of compressed air. The Pachydermian Union rejected his plans, though Olaff attempted to bribe them with copious amounts of gilded peanuts.

Olaff is known to have owned a pet dog called All Heck. Then, when people would leave his front gate open, he had an excuse to say "don't do that or All Heck will break loose!" He planned to write a book about this pun called "My Sides, They Are A-Splitting".

Olaff was a drunken hypermegolomaniac womanizing hipster freakazoid lowlife scumpot druggie skankball crapfaced smellbag of cessily corruptionated assstain scandalousitynesses in his later financial career, as was the fashion of the time. His Drug Haze parties, equal parts hooker and liquor, were well known; all were conducted as official bank business, and so the minutes of Olaff and friends' drug-induced hallucinations were faithfully recorded by Burgengute [That's my great-great-great grandfather. Everybody in the Burgengute family has the same name! --Burgengute, Chief Copier], the bank's stenographer. They are one of the more eminently readable pre-Modern Standard Ghyllian tomes, and gave rise to some common phrases including don't foot around the fefferberry.

[Work in Progress; to be abandoned on Friday.]

P.S. Some people spell Parapparderrappar "Parapparderappar", but dey is wrong. Dig?

Site Hay Churns: Harrabloon Bank, @@, @@.

--Sean B. Palmer 06:51, 20 Jan 2005 (EST)