Ghyll:DermPachyges

This is mostly a place holder. I'm actually planning to write most of this offline and post it when I'm done. But here's just a bit of a teaser. --DrBacchus 21:32, 25 Sep 2004 (EDT)

The DermPachyges are the pachyderm courier service which run on the least hospitable roads of Ghyll, carrying important messages, flowers, and darseed shipmnets from one part of the country to another. Although they will occasionally travel the Cataract Road, and other major roads, they tend to stick to more direct routes, steering in straight lines by the stars.

The history of the service

The DermPachyges Courier Service has been in operation for at least 100 years, in one form or another.

Long before the DermPachyges corporation was officially formed, there have been Pachyderm courier services along the routes between major cities. In fact, it is believed that most major roads, with the exception of the Cataract Road, were initiall created by the passage of these big beasts.

Prior to the formation of DermPachyges, in -78 EC, most pachyderm couriers were privately owned, and travelled with a few armed mercenaries for protection.. It was believed that these were necessary to keep bandits away from the cargo. Fortunately, the bandits were smarter than that.

However, as cities grew, and a less knowledgeable bandit population moves out from the cities into the surrounding country, it was discovered that this protection was not really necessary. The first few recorded incidents of bandits attaching the pachyderm couriers tend to have happy endings. Unless, of course, you happen to be the bandit in question.

The bandit approached us from the right side of the trail. We didn't have any armed guards, due to the budget and the layoffs, so I was pretty scared. I had Bobo slow down, because the guy had a bow, and I figured he'd shoot me if I tried to make a break for it.

So Bobo stopped, and the guy approached, and started making demands. Suddenly, Bobo reached out with her trunk, and before I knew it, she had the thug wrapped up tight as can be, and had brought him close for a good look. He looked terrified, and all of his earlier bravado had evaporated. He was gibbering something that sounded like promises to be a good boy and give up his wayward ways.

I thought that Bobo was just going to give him a few friendly taps and move on. But as suddenly as she had picked him up, she trumpeted, and flung her trunk straight out, and our visitor was flung far out into the thorn bushes, where I heard him calling for his mommy.

After a few dozen similar incidents, all couriers stopped taking guards with them, much to the distress of the guards union, who went on strike for about 3 weeks, until they realized that nobody cared.

In -78 EC, the loosly-affiliated union of couriers banded together to form a cooperative. In the founding year, they had a contest to pick a name for the cooperative, and eventually came up with DermPachyges. Other suggested names included PackYerDerms, Couriers On Really Big And Scary Beasties, and Pachyges.

Although formed as a cooperative, it quickly became a corporation under the ruthless leadership of Frandos "Elephant Ears" Wakami. Although initially elected as sort of overseer and accountant, he quickly appointed himself Supreme Benevolent Dictator For Life, and served as CEO for the next 25 years.

During the construction of the Cataract Road (-74 through -62 EC) Wakami actively opposed the construction, feeling that it would cut into his business. There are even some who claim that, when he was unable to stop the construction, he influenced the route of the road so that it would be less of a challenge to his business.

These days, DermPachyges is the undisputed leader in freight and postage, as well as being responsible for the maintenance of most of the important roads, with the exception of the Cataract Road.

The nature of the beasts

The Pachyderms are not to be trifled with. Let's make that perfectly clear right up front. That silly childrens' story about the 5 blind men who tried to figure out what a pachyderm was like by feeling it ... well, let's just say that in real life the story would have ended up with 4 of them up in trees and the 5th one a damp spot on the road.

Pachyderms, also called Elifonts in the more rural areas, are very large grey beasts, with a long prehensile nose and round flat feet perfectly adapted to squishing offending persons.

The beasts are extremely intelligent, and respond very unfavorably to anone carrying anything that might be construed as a weapon. They make friends very hesitantly, and usually will allow only one individual to ride on their back.

Thus, the courier drovers are usually paired with a particular pachyderm for their entire career, and become very attached to them. Usually, they are paired with their beast at birth, and the two grow up together.

Since it is certain that these drovers were completely aware of the nature of their partners, it is unlikely that there was ever any real thought, at least on the part of the drovers, that guards were needed. Thus, it is thought likely that these guards were merely travelling companions who were gradually elevated to employees, and who were given a job to justify their employment.