.ili. Devil Shat Fifty .ili. -------------------------------- Growing Old Down by the Bay ........................ by Morbus This is Devil Shat Fifty released on 04/08/99. Devil Shat is published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/ Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email and let us know. I am very old and decrepit. --------------------------------------- .ili. Growing Old Down by the Bay .ili. --------------------------------------- by Morbus I know that four months from now, when we're all on our deathbeds, I'll look back at the fiftieth issue of Devil Shat and wonder why it was such an accomplishment. That's the funny thing with history - it just doesn't look good when you're gazing back on it. I'd say to myself that accomplishments based on numbers are useless. You could bitch about something for 100 issues - but if you do it horribly, or no one is listening, you've accomplished only the greatest waste of time you'd admit to yourself. I'd say to myself that issue fifty meant nothing to most people. I'd say that issue four - now THAT was an issue. Over two years later, and people still comment on the rebuttal to the Patriotic White Aryan Movement - how great and wonderfully written my comments were, and how it was gutsy to release. Gutsy would be an understatement. That issue almost put Devil Shat off the map. You can read about the whole sad affair, which involved being kicked off AOL, in issue five. But, as you know (and to the chagrin of others), we came back. I'd say to myself that issue fifty brought no thoughts to the readers - only a self serving piece meant to stroke your ego. Lemme tell you something, dedicated readers: I WOULD say that crap four months from now - but damn, fifty issues of Devil Shat feels *really* good right now. 575k of text (which is A LOT), 100,000 words and a crapload of emails later, I can honestly say that I feel like I've accomplished things. I won't laugh at myself and say that I've changed people into better human beings - but based on the emails I've received, I can say that people have enjoyed reading Devil Shat. For that, I'm damned happy. I'm damned happy that I became strict and forced myself to write my feelings down, forced myself to get what was in my head and throw it into the anal of history's firm buttocks. Don't get me wrong though - there have been times where I've wished I didn't have to write Devil Shat. I had other *funner* things to do and I didn't want to spend the effort to write something halfway decent. And as much as I wish I hadn't, I've released some not-so-good shit in the past. That's OK, though - Devil Shat is about my thoughts, feelings, and emotions - and sometimes I'm just not in the mood to appease the Gods of Thought. If that's a bad thing, I'll be the first to agree with you. Devil Shat hasn't been favorably received all around - there have been people who have complained that Devil Shat has TRIED to become underground material... and that I'd never be able to achieve my dreams in that regard. Of course, about ten issues before that comment, I was being chastised for becoming mainstream. Lemme tell you something else, dedicated readers. Devil Shat isn't trying to become anything. I'm not trying to impress anyone, I'm not trying to become a part of any 'leet organization, I'm not trying to be read by everyone in America. I don't want syndication, I don't want people coming to hunt me down because I fucked their mother (sorry, Monica, really), I don't want to get up on some talk show and have Jerry Springer bow down to me for thinking of things that he never could. I just want to be me - sitting passively in front of the world, pointing at things, laughing at their hilarity, frowning at their stupidity, or frothing at their incompetence... and then jotting it all down. I like to write, to think, and to speak out about how I feel. In Devil Shat, I do all of those things. And I do them for me. Not for other people, not for the readers, and not for impressions. And if you want to kick my ass for that, I'll only make you more angry as you hear my laughing throughout. To quote Fat Boy Slim, to myself: "We've come a long, long way together - through the hard times and the good. I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should." My praise and celebration extends out to all of you. Thank you for being with me and for putting up with my crap. May we grow older together. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The website edition includes images, a nice design, and all of the email we have received about this issue. Go there and um, er, have fun: http://www.disobey.com/devilshat/ Copyright 1997-1999 Disobey. You may not steal, maim, hold for ransom, kill, or rape any part of this issue. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe DevilShat TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe DevilShat ------------------------------------------------------------------------