Who They Are: Cab Drivers are the itinerant freelancers of the New Media Caste System. Cab Drivers are made up of designers, HTML coders, copy writers, beta testers and other low-level production people, who must constantly hustle in order to pay the rent. Cab Drivers are in many ways the most cynical of NetSlaves because they have had the most jobs, been fired the most times and often go unpaid for their services by unscrupulous New Media Managers, who with already high burn-rates, are known for skipping out on paying their fares.

Where They Can Be Found: Cab Drivers lead a "feast-or-famine" existence. When they are working, it's in the most primitive of circumstances -- crowded in underlit, poorly ventilated back-offices for days and weeks at a time, doing whatever's necessary to complete a project that's already past due. In times of unemployment, which are frequent and often the only reward for a job well-done, Cab Drivers can be found slumped on lumpy old couches watching daytime TV with blank, defeated expressions on their faces or else glued to the greasy receiver of their home phones, frantically pitching themselves to potential clients or badgering the Accounts Payable Departments of past clients, who supposedly put the check in the mail six weeks ago.

Average Income: Lower by the second. In 1995, when the Internet was the "new thing", Cab Drivers could pass themselves off as Private Car Services, or even Limousine Operators -- their sharp hand-eye coordination skills in working through the then mysterious lines of <p> tags and image maps commanding upwards of $70 per hour. These days, however, with heavy competition from unlicensed "Gypsies" who think their internship will lead to big bucks in the next IPO, Cab Drivers are lucky if they get $15 per hour. Other factors which have hurt the pocketbooks of the Web's workaday hacks include the rise of WYSIWYG tools and the consolidation of Design Firms into a short list of key players owned by Advertising conglomerates, intent on keeping production costs as low as possible, while charging their still-clueless Old Media clients higher and higher fees.

Average Amount of Time They Spent at Any One Job: 3 months. Because Cab Drivers work on a per-project basis, they bounce around more than the "normal" NetSlave and are usually back out on the street by the time they begin to get bored with their current assignment. The upside of such an existence is that exposure to managerial politics is minimal; the downside is the lack of any sense of stability -- to say nothing of rotting teeth and persistent flu symptoms (cough, running nose), caused by a lack of health benefits.

Last Vacation: Four years ago this May (Spring Break).

Mating Habits: None. (Not counting the occasional drunken roll in the hay with the fellow Cab Driver who just got canned from the same company as they did and ... )

Percentage of the NetSlave Population: 50% (But falling with a bullet.) As prospects for Cab Drivers grow worse by the second, many are taking Civil Service Exams or foregoing the workaday world altogether and running back into the maternal arms of academia. ("Sure I'll be broke with an MFA, but I'm even more broke now. Besides, I don't mind living on macaroni and cheese; at least I won't have to work that hard. Two, three expository writing classes per week, tops? After being in the Web biz, I'm not afraid of anything.")

Psychological Profile: Cab Drivers always seem about a block away from the nut house. While they would like to think that their mental state is due to the horrors they've experienced as Internet drones, the truth is that being highly excitable Liberal Arts types at heart, they were always pretty wacked. (Favorite bands in High School: Bauhaus, Joy Division, Depeche Mode.)

Average Age: 28 going on 72. "Internet Time" unfolds even faster than "Dog Years", with the effects on the people in the business (especially the ever-moving Cab Drivers) figuring out to be 20 years for every calendar cycle.

Average Income: $2.50. At the end of the day, Cab Drivers have enough left over in the till to buy themselves one pack of cigarettes, five packs of gum or a slice of pizza and a coke. (Depending on their mood, tastes and/or priorities.)

Career Aspirations: To start their own Web design company and sign up a few "sugar daddy" clients, which would allow them to live a free and economically secure existence -- on their own terms.

Likelihood That Their Career Aspirations Will Come True: Slim to none. Without rich parents to bankroll them, Cab Drivers have as much a chance of getting seed-money from Venture Capitalists or landing "sugar daddies" as your grandmother's latest Internet play.
 

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