"Click Here for Live Sex" (The Incredibly Sordid Saga of Dotcom Startup AllTrue.com
Posted Wed Jun 13 14:24:20 2001 by sbaldwin |
By Leif Quakeman
Dotcom Scoop
reports that a promotional party for Web site AllTrue.com went a bit
further than people bargained for when a couple of paid "actresses"
started copulating with patrons in a small, inflatable "Freak Box" that
was an integral part of the event.
Live Sex is nothing new in the history of dotcom marketing - Pseudo
pioneered its use years ago, and one might fairly claim that Josh
Harris' audacious scheme to wire up his SoHo loft was nothing more than
an invitation designed to snare bored Web users who might somehow get a
whiff of live sex if they were lucky enough to show up at the right
time.
For AllTrue
(a site that currently features video clips including one named "A
British Angel and a Muslim Pig coming together on a warm, pre-Halloween
night in Atlanta), Live Sex was a clear and convincing alternative to
the Free Sushi Bar or the frisbee-shaped logo disk. And it worked like
a charm - however badly this party turned out, Live Sex did the trick -
it got the company coverage on WPIX TV in New York - something it
wouldn't have otherwise gotten.
Live Sex drives an enormous amount of Web traffic. Forget the porn
sites for a moment and think about Fucked Company - where it seems that
the most popular preoccupation of its young audience is speculating
about Pud's sex life. Sure, the Web is fast running out of Fucked
Companies, but people keep gathering at FC. Why? To talk about doing
the nasty, watching the nasty, etc.
None of this is new, of course. The computer industry's annual
Comdex conference takes place in the capital of Live Sex (and, perhaps
not uncoincidentally, the capital of Organized Crime) - Las Vegas, USA.
Take 60,000 dweeby, excitable males, combine them with a state that's
legalized prostitution, and you get the idea. It's unnecessary to
mention the fact that just about every significant Web invention, from
the pop-up ad to the cookie to the evil name-gathering SPAM spider, was
created to serve either the live or the canned sex industry.
Jim Morrison, if he had lived, and actually had become a Net CEO,
would have doubtless understood the major impact that Live Sex has in
terms of creating a positive image for an Internet compamy. It's cheap,
has a universal human appeal, and rarely requires much technology to
achieve it. It's also the perfect solution to cater to an audience that
no longer believes the Web will make them rich instantly. Consequently,
Live Sex is likely to become an indespensible tool in every dotcom
marketing manager's arsenel.
Before you start hosting Live Sex shows from Conference Room A,
keep in mind that Live Sex is likely to soon be commodified.
Unfortunately, most dotcom marketing managers tend to believe that just
because you've hired a smooth-faced actress or two, you're making a
unique statement likely to move your company into the limelight.
Don't fall into this trap. Unless your company's message can break
through the inevitable "Live Sex Clutter" that's likely to obtain once
everybody discovers this technology and begins deploying it on their
"About Page", it's a lot of wasted effort that's likely to result in
pregnancies, venereal diseases, and other liabilities inappropriate for
a lean-and-mean Web company.
Remember: personality counts as much in the Live Sex industry as it
does on the NASDAQ. Take care to brand your Live Sex Show, perhaps by
letting your CEO or CFO be the first to step into the pit (perhaps with
a distinctive, temporary tattoo placed strategically on a
frequently-used appendage). Live Sex should always be intimate - not
anonymous - so resist the temptation to hire a bunch of anonymous,
unemployed netslaves, and focus on projecting the best qualities of
your company's leadership.
Of course, few companies will use Live Sex effectively - despite
their claims to being "cutting edge", they're as prudish and inhibited
as the rest of us, and will fear damaging "investor relations". My
advice? Be bold. Push the envelope. Rent a Freak Box and a videocam,
and your MPEG file and company logo will soon be circling the world.
Have no fear about turning off Wall Street - they've been turned off
since April of 2000.
How could investor relations - now at their all-time low mark - be made any worse by a little globally-promoted Hankie-Pankie?
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Name: clutz
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 12:25:44 2001
Comment: www.alltrue.com
I am sure they will be selling it soon since it was listed in fuckedcompany that they laid people off last week...
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Name: majorhack
Email: majorhack@yahoo.com
Date: Thu Jun 14 11:11:05 2001
Comment: Link for where I can buy me a 'freakbox' ????
thanks!
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 11:05:43 2001
Comment: no. I'm glad they don't want to talk about it.
I was trying to make a point.
I think your thing is broken. It's posting funny.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:42:32 2001
Comment: >Really? I wonder how come?
does this, in some way, upset you?
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:39:23 2001
Comment: ly?
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:39:12 2001
Comment: thinking completely different?
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:38:49 2001
Comment: or is that completely different thinking?
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:38:34 2001
Comment:
{I've been to a few upscale launch parties, when I'm sick of the food
and whatever, I leave. The women with whom I leave sure as hell don't
want to talk about computers or the net anyway.}
------------------------
Really? I wonder how come?
<---thought I might stay until I see a ROFLMAO.
I haven't seen one of those in a while.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:38:27 2001
Comment: . . . and now for something COMPLETELY different. . .
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=3028
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Name: bubbabeast
Email: fittaface@hotmail.com
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:16:34 2001
Comment: If you want the "real" story (um... is anything in the NY POST ever REAL?):
http://www.nypost.com/06122001/news/regionalnews/32398.htm
I found some good stuff on alltrue that looks like it happened that
night. Just go in their search tool... type in CAKE or NERVE or BOOBS
.. make sure you specify you want ALL clips (not from past month) and
BANG... a few hours of mind-numbing activity with tits involved. Also
look up BEETLEJUICE -- there is a clip with midgets AND sex.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Jun 14 10:11:47 2001
Comment: Hey, If all these parties are such shitty affairs why go?
{I've been to a few upscale launch parties, when I'm sick of the
food and whatever, I leave. The women with whom I leave sure as hell
don't want to talk about computers or the net anyway.}
else
{we'd be leaving separately}
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Name: twisted sistah
Email: bitemybeaver@hotmail.com
Date: Thu Jun 14 01:32:57 2001
Comment:
Hey kernel....
fuck goat sex....
Just got back from Jason McCabe Calacanis's Wireless Bullshit
Party......and after too many helpings of spoilt sushi and a liquid
chaser......
hey goat sex looks good after all that is all ill say....
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Name: Kernel panic
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 23:26:44 2001
Comment: HAHAHAhehehe!!
I have absolutely no idea what you mean blank!
Is that some sort of smart people's secret code or something? My enigma machine returned null.
Hang on....got my fruit loops 3D secret decoder ring now........My Goodness!!!! You Pervert!!!
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Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 22:58:00 2001
Comment: Kernel panic:
+1 (Clever)
<----down to 6 points and my karma is 3.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 19:58:21 2001
Comment: Thanks for the tips. I've been wondering about this for quite some time.
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Name: Kernel panic
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 18:47:36 2001
Comment: I've been saying all along...the real money is in midget porn!
Our CEO fell out when I proposed it though. Wonder why? We already
shoot models and t.v. commercials. Now all we need are some midgets.
Find a few lezbian midgets...viola! GREEN BACKS BABY!!
Or maybe "Midgets in the country"! Get a couple of goats...uhh...nevermind.
Shit I gotta stop this...My work is piling up.
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Name: samezone19
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 15:48:04 2001
Comment: Dot-Com Refugees Find Welcome in Porn Industry
http://www.latimes.com/business/columns/toptech/20010423/t000034314.html
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Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Wed Jun 13 15:36:34 2001
Comment: Live sex is not to be ateempted by amateurs.
Besides, the Caught on tape series pretty much has more live action than you or I could handle.
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Name: what live sex?
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 14:51:38 2001
Comment: Did the AllTrue live sex video ever go on their site? I don't see it there...
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Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 14:50:32 2001
Comment: hah hah - the funniest thing about this piece is how it goes over the heads of many tunnel-headed posters!
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Name: another FC
Email: shutup
Date: Wed Jun 13 14:35:54 2001
Comment:
Yeah nice site. let's try to keep the pages below 2 megs a piece, ok?
and popup windows are a nono.....dumbasses....how do these fucked
companies keep popping up? |
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