Ghost Sites: This Page is No Longer in Service
NetSlaves: Horror Stories of Working the Web
| the mission
| the media kit | advertising
| submit your story | steve_baldwin@hotmail.com
combat manual | interviews | between the lies | open source | shut up! award
The Death of Suck and Feed
Posted Fri Jun 8 20:33:23 2001 by sbaldwin

By Steve Baldwin (updated 6/9/2001)

It's all over the Web now - Suck and Feed are dead. These two content pioneers - and their parent company, Automatic Media, fell victim today to the same virtual blight that's been killing strong content trees for years - "an inability to secure additional financing."

Suck at its worst was pretentious, irrelevant, and despite the droll drawings of Terry Colon, often insufferable. At its best it was stinging, witty, funny, and the content property that everybody wanted to imitate - from Time-Warner's Netly News on down to sites like this one. Its loss indicates a definite closing of a chapter in the Web's history. It will be missed and mourned by many - love or hate it, Suck (and to a lesser, extent, Feed) was a genuine pioneer.

We (Netslaves) played a small role in this disaster - we were a partner in Plastic's launch. Not really a "touted" partner - but Bill and myself spent hundreds of hours fiddling with SlashBox - or whatever their automated publishing bot is called - restocking Plastic's Work Channel with fresh content, checking links, etc. The idea - and perhaps it makes no sense - was to ally ourselves with the same ironic crowd that Suck had cultivated with such success in the 1995-2000 period. To rub elbows with a few smart, alienated people, and show them our world - the dark side of IT.

It failed badly. Netslaves.com didn't get any real traffic, Our content mix didn't jibe too well with Plastic's post-graduate brand of uber-ironism. Plastic didn't sell any ads beyond a few house banners - they tried but, well, as we were told "you boys know how bad the market is". I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky here - all we lost was time - a lot of hours. I also had to spend about $1,000 extra on ISP bills maintaining Plastic and performing other jobs required to glue things together. So figure a wash that was below $5,000 - maybe a quarter of my yearly income - in terms of bucks spent and unbilled time. Was it Pure Netslavery? Of course. Did we ever make a dime? Not on your life. So it was a wash - a small one but a wash nonetheless. This failure didn't kill us, but it didn't help us either - and in this perilous world, that's often enough to prove fatal in the long run for small indie content sites such as this one.

What's the lesson here? Well, there are lots of candidates. Maybe Suck would still be around if it stuck to its roots (which were very spartan - a couple of guys who camped out in Hotwired's offices at night). Maybe Plastic would have taken off like a rocket if it had been launched a year earlier or a year later. Maybe even low-key, downscale offices downtown are out of reach for Web projects (maybe future ones will be run from a free PC in your local library). Maybe a site like this one belongs in its own virtual universe: unlinked and unloved. I'm frankly sick of lessons - this business sucks - whether or not Joey really does need a vacation. Maybe we should all take some time off. I give both Joey and Stephen high marks for putting something to rest rather than letting it become awful - a fate that has met many Web zines.

If there's a lesson for Netslaves, I guess it's that we'll stay in the minors - it seems a lot safer than playing with the big boys. It's not great - because we're living on rice - not sushi - but it wouldn't be the first time people have done with less and survived in the woods instead of being cut down in town. And as we've intimated here, we could just as easily go away too - run out of steam - vanish - because we're pretty close to the edge around here, and this is unlikely to change. I'd like to think that we'll hang on, just because it's more annoying not to publish Netslaves than it is to publish it. But time (as well as money) changes everything, and it certainly did for Suck, whose outsized command of the Web's mindshare couldn't be monterized into enough cash to keep them playing in a real stadium (at last report, they seem headed for the sandlot too, so perhaps we haven't heard the last of 'em).

Can you live without Suck? Of course. And you can live without this site too - Web Content is the most disposable invention since Big Mac packaging was perfected by Ray Croc. I think we'll stick around a bit longer, because of our Spartan habits and our somewhat unhealthy fascination with this subject. So we're "going deep" this summer - not going away, but digging in close to the earth, which is where we started, and clearly where we still belong.

Will the world care much about the death of the Web's oldest, thorniest column? Probably not - especially now that everyone is running around looking for a job, Web-based irony is commonplace, and so are sites devoted to deflating the media. But my question to you is: what will you read instead? And with the "Web's Oldest Cybercolumn" dead, to whom does this award now pass?
 
Posted Comments:post a comment!
Name: Email:

Comment:



Name: hank spank
Email: panix@nonfuckingspamgmx.net
Date: Fri Jun 15 00:25:25 2001
Comment: go back and read nettime. still alive.

Name: Freyja (Plastic)
Email: freyja@onebox.com
Date: Thu Jun 14 16:08:31 2001
Comment: I'm the longest employed FEED person who was not a founder, and I have been around for the life of Automatic Media. If anyone should be pissed off, it's me -- everything I have worked to build in the last 2.5 years, whatever you may think of what that was, has come to nothing, and I am unemployed in the worst job market in years, along with many many people who I care about immensely.

It's childish to make the statements that have been made here about Joey and others who worked for Automatic Media. I know that our contracts with other publications did not result in financial rewards. When you signed the contract with us, you entered into a business venture, not an employment agreement, and there were simply no profits to share. We were not in a position to pay out. The deal was structured so that the minute we had money to pay out, it would go to you in the form of monthly checks. I know because I built the accounting system, along with my co-workers -- it took a lot of time and energy. It never would have been built if we had no intention of making good on our deals. No one thought that the economy was in for the dark times we are now all experiencing. AM's is a business plan that made some sense, given what we knew about business in 1999-2000. Naive, sure. Overly optimistic, sure. Willfully misleading, definitely not. Dishonest, no way.

Plastic achieved significant growth and spawned a community that is now keeping itself alive in the few months since we launched it on January 15. It gets well over 100,000 page views a day, which is obviously not making any cash, but by 2000 standards, that was pretty freakin' good. Every week is a new record in traffic for us. Ad sales people here were simply unable to sell a single ad, not for the lack of trying. As for Feed and Suck, if they were so irrelevant, why did our readership keep growing? I've read every piece of subscriber feedback since 1999, and while not as perhaps popular and awe-inspiringly catholic in taste as say, Christina Aguilera or Netslaves, many people will miss reading feed and suck, myself included.

You took a risk, same as every single one of us over here. It didn't pan out, and that's too bad -- it could have been awesome and fun, and financially rewarding. But don't start smearing people who tried something that didn't work out. You don't know what you're talking about. I wish you the best luck possible in this market with your new venture with dotcomscoop. I hope for Ben Silverman's sake that it's more profitable than your venture with Automatic Media. It would become you to wish well to those of us whose publications have not been so lucky.


Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Jun 13 11:37:03 2001
Comment: Dear Steve Martin,

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that your dance scene with Lily Tomlin at the end of "all of me" is one of the sweetest scenes ever
in a movie. And I just sold your book Cruel Shoes at a garage sale.

Name:
Email:
Date: Tue Jun 12 09:41:48 2001
Comment: take the trolls to task

Name: SteveMartin
Email:
Date: Mon Jun 11 11:11:30 2001
Comment: Y'know, my whole style of writing changed when i started using verbs. . .

Name: Funtime Ed
Email: heterogenius@homo.com
Date: Mon Jun 11 05:23:51 2001
Comment: Sorry for the laziness, Steve... If I had read the post about you not getting paid by Suck, I would have known the one about not liking Anuff was genuine.

So, is Anuff Anuff, or is Haight Anuff? I know, Anuff, Already. (His new pasta joint.)

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 21:33:07 2001
Comment: Well I'm glad you're hopeful about a change.
You must be referring to the short woman that's not a sheep (or, dare I assume, a goat). And if you haven't had any luck kissing someone after football, maybe you should ask Funtime Ed.


Anyway, I guess I'm confused. How did Mr. Anuff
act badly in all this?

<---received a score of 2 with "Genius" beside it
over at Plastic so I'm feeling a little giddy.


Name: The Other Cheek
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 21:28:13 2001
Comment:
>I don't blame Syd for much.

The Magic 8-Ball is never wrong, Steve. Syd (and the rest of the rank-and-file at APB) was moot: The site was tagged, bagged and on its way to the morgue.

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 19:29:11 2001
Comment: Ellen,

I never claimed to be smart about football. Playing football is an act of willful stupidity. Ask anyone Sunday morning after touch football. And I usually drink beer after football, not kiss anyone. Hopefully that will change.

Cheek,

I was trained in newspapers at NYU and wrote for a few trades and weeklies, no dailies. Then I worked in politics, as a researcher and then online. But a couple of years was enough to understand the mentality.

And I don't blame Syd for much. He was just wrong and didn't listen to people who knew. Levins and Sauter, otoh.....yeah, you have a point.

And Ed, those are my words. Not a faked sig. Of course, this could be faked as well.:-). No seriously, I feel Anuff acted badly in all this, others proabably do as well.

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath
Date: Sun Jun 10 15:38:50 2001
Comment: I agree with Funtime Ed. It looks like there's
a lot of fake stuff going on to me. By the way,
are you the Funtime Ed that used to send me email?

Name: The Other Cheek
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 15:22:00 2001
Comment:
>You worked with newspaper people, some of whom trained me. Forgive and forget is not in that lexicon.:-)

Steve G: First, you've mentioned your newspaper background in several replies to my posts, but I was always too busy arguing with you to ask what paper(s) you've worked for and in what capacity?

Also, it's true that forgive and forget is a concept alien to newspaper folks (else, Jim Romanesko's site would lose its entire raison d'etre). If that's true, sources tell me that there will be a special place in Hell for APB's editor, Hoag Levins. (Or, should that be Levins, the sexist Hoag???). But the Magic 8-Ball tells me that Syd Schanberg is going to Heaven (sorry if this ruins your day).

Name: Bill Volk
Email: bvolk@youworkit.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 15:18:37 2001
Comment: It took me 18 months to build a web based service for printers/newspapers and I was happy just to get 4 figures of revenue last month. I'll be estatic with 5 figures next.

Why would you screw up something (suck.com) that was making money? That doesn't make sense.

Internet companies have to be small and nimble to survive all of this.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 14:35:04 2001
Comment: I get all my papers and smile at the sky
"cause I know that they hypnotized never lie.

Name: Funtime Ed
Email: heterogenius@homo.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 14:25:22 2001
Comment: Given all of the faked sig crap going on here, will someone please clarify whether or not the following statement came from the real Steve Gilliard or a fake one:

"I do not consider Joey Anuff or his associates honorable people. As the stories come out, it will be clear why I feel this way."

Thanks!

funtime ed

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 13:03:45 2001
Comment: Mr. Gilliard,

So let me see if I understand this. Women aren't a part of the team and you spend a lot of time hitting people, punching them and kicking them. And then after the game you kiss the women. Which one would you say you spend more of your time doing? Just something to think about. I mean,
you're the smart one. I believe I'm just the one
someone here referred to as a malformed dwarf.

And it's not raining here, but it certainly sounds
like Houston is having a devil of a time. Would anyone like to discuss their favorite Suck of all time? I thought that might be a good topic and I'd certainly do my best to try and keep up :)

Name: stevegilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 12:28:07 2001
Comment: Ellen,

I coach now, but basically I played offensive line, which is where you hit people, kick them, punch them and not get caught. There is no running, no catching, just hitting and more hitting. No glory there, just the knowlegde of hard work done well.

And no women play on our team. So kisses are reserved for after the game.:-)

Cheek,

Due dilligence with private companies is very difficult. If we could have seen their books, we would have run hard and fast.

I don't dislike Syd. I dislike how he treated us as village idiots. We know our shit.

You worked with newspaper people, some of whom trained me. Forgive and forget is not in that lexicon.:-)

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 11:29:05 2001
Comment: Dear The Other Cheek: The reason Plastic isn't working is because it's too hard to understand. Here's and example. Supposedly there are 167 comments right now on the Suck muck but I can only find 165. I've looked and looked for 166 and 167. How are you supposed to find those. Also, the name Plastic isn't
very good. Also, the name Automated Media sounds like a laundromat. Also, I said, "There but for
the Grace of God go I", but it's not nearly as much fun as saying these

1. The epitome of femininity.

2. She stood on the balcony
inexplicably mimicing him hiccupping,
and amicably welcoming him home.


Dear Steve Gilliard: I see that you're also a football player. What team do you play for?
I remember a game where I played in the rain on a Sunday afternoon. I went out for this long pass and was told, "just keep running, don't look back until you get in the end zone. Got it?" So I did it, and I crossed the goal line and looked back and the ball was right there but it hit me in the head. And then everyone started laughing because I was just standing there and I had been trying to impress the guy who threw me the ball and he just stood there way back where he was and I was just standing there and it was raining and it was like this moment suspended in time because all of a sudden I noticed he was walking towards me, zigging around the laughing people and I thought "Oh god now he's going to start yelling at me" and
he got closer and closer and then there he was standing in front of me and I was soaked at this point, but I had gotten the ball so I handed it to him and he took it and threw it on the ground and then he put his arms around me and dipped me and gave me this great, really long kiss and it just goes to show how one minute you can feel like everything is going wrong
and then someone does something like that and god it feels good.


Dear Mr. Blank: As far as your comment to Marilyn goes that genius is usually revealed thru creativity, I would also like to point out that Einstein said that "Imagination is more important than knowledge in case you hadn't heard that.



Mr. Anuff: Dave Barry isn't that funny, so don't worry about it.


Name: Tom
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 11:08:12 2001
Comment: When is E-Bitch going to write another article? It's been awhile... I hope she didn't starve to death! Or worse move... Back in with her parents!

Name: The Other Cheek
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 10:38:01 2001
Comment:
>90 percent of what anyone does has nothing to do with race ...
>this IS Netslaves, and not Racism Review ...

There you go, Steve G. Your readers will be very happy if y'all stick to New Economy, New Media, Internet, tech and related subjects. That's what they come here for (you know, brand identity). :)

>[W]e had been told ... Plastic would sell ads for us [and] share their ad sales on their site ... They said we would make money, and it turned out they were incapable of making any. ... [W]e realized ... Plastic was a last desperate gasp to save Suck and Feed and ... they had no interest in living up to their end of the bargain ...

Steve G, sounds like someone didn't do his due diligence. A common New Economy failing, to be sure.

Steve B asked what the lesson is in all this. From my perspective, the lesson is that before you lob grenades at the flotsam and jetsam (i.e., shell-shocked, discarded dot-com employees who haven't even figured out yet what went wrong and how they're supposed to live on unemployment insurance) for decisions they make with which you disagree, step back and take a deep breath and say (out loud three times), "There but for the grace of God go I."

Then, for heaven's sake, be merciful toward them.
Go after the bad bosses, but not their victims -- even when you feel there was contrubutory negligence (or The Stockholm Syndrome, which may well have been the case at APB) involved.

>Also ... the thoroughly dishonorable way Anuff and Automatic dealt with us ... will not be forgotten.

Well, Steve G, considering how long you've kept your grudge against Sydney Schanberg stoked I have no doubt about the veracity of this last statement (even considering how prone to exaggeration you are sometimes). :)

Name: stevegilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 09:42:01 2001
Comment: >Have I ever mentioned that I am a black man in a racist society?
Yes, Steve, every chance you get. Have I mentioned that I am a woman in a sexist industry? No, because I refuse to wallow in victimology and to let the bastards get the better of me. Eventually I will prevail -- maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually. I never will prevail if I spend my days bitching about the way things are instead of trying to change them.

Uh, I didn't write this. Because noticing America is racist is like noticing New York is rainy. I may not like playing football in the rain, I may bitch about it, but I get on with my day. Of course it's racist, and if you ask me about race, I'll point it out. But this IS Netslaves, and not Racism Review, so I think I get on with my day.:-)
You know, 90 percent of what anyone does has nothing to do with race. It's that pesky 10 percent which frustrates.

As far as Plastic goes, we were lied to. Not just on one occasion. And, unlike APBNews, where people were asked to work for free, our labor was simply stolen, and when we found out that the money we expected was not there, we were fucked.

At that point, we stopped contributing to the site. The only reason our name remained on plastic was due to us not exercising our 90 day out in our contract. Plastic couldn't sell one ad. We made more money in 10 weeks with that banner you see on our page than Plastic ever paid us.

What we had been told was that Plastic would sell ads for us as well as share their ad sales on their site with us. Nothing up front.

We weren't part of any noble anything. They said we would make money, and it turned out they were incapable of making any. What we realized was that Plastic was a last desperate gasp to save Suck and Feed and when we realized that they had no interest in living up to their end of the bargain, we walked away.

We were not the only people who fell for their promises or were hurt by their inability to execute.

But make no mistake, we didn't willingly work for free or contribute to their site. Nor did any of their partners. This, btw, has been known within the industry since March. No one was surprised that they went under.

Also, according to our stats, dotcomscoop's single NetSlaves link drove as much, if not more traffic to us than Plastic ever did. FC has been a steady referrer as well.

Plastic was a net plus in terms of us upgrading the site and improving the content, but in every other way, it was a negative.

Also, I think the thoroughly dishonorable way Anuff and Automatic dealt with us, refusing to be straight on any number of issues, will not be forgotten.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 09:41:03 2001
Comment:
Marilyn, your syndicated answers to such questions as: ?why is the sky blue,? suggest a person who is either well read or has a few research assistants. Genius is usually revealed through original creativity.

Name: Marilyn Vos Savant
Email:
Date: Sun Jun 10 08:08:56 2001
Comment:
>Please correct me if I misspeak, Marilyn. Your column certainly does NOT project a person with the highest IQ on the planet.

Blank: Since you insist, here is your correction. I must write my column to your level of understanding, not mine. Naturally, I come off as being less intelligent than I am in actuality -- because you are less intelligent than I am. Don't feel badly, about it, though. It's not your fault. It's just an accident of nature.

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 01:08:08 2001
Comment: <----looks around

what was that anuff thing? Was I not supposed to buy the book?I USED SOME OF MY GARAGE SALE MONEY!!! How is that being like a vulture? I came out of retirement for this abuse?

Name: joey anuff
Email: anuff@suck.com
Date: Sun Jun 10 00:58:05 2001
Comment: Anuff of this!

I realize that my writing has become like a lame anti-establishment left wing formula. I'm kind of like a cross between Dave Barry and Alan Colmes, except Mr. Colmes may score more than I do. I'm like Dave because I'm not really that funny but I'm consistent, and I'm like Alan because I don't really stand for anything beyond lip service.

I managed to squeeze a book deal or two out of this measly thing and I got to get a t-shirt with my URL on it. I lived the dot-com dream. Someone funded the project I was working on while goofing off at Wired several years back. I admit it. I coasted. I was so out of touch that when I saw Slashdot.org I was like "Fuck! I wish I thought of that! I would have been able to build something worthwhile, instead of launching Plastic, which proved once and for all my traffic had dwindled to Jamie Levy.

Fuck it! Add a self-reflecting morale aggrandizing sarcastic wink-wink nudge-nudge statement here. Print and take to local Williamsburg caf? after pulling cash at the ATM from the account your parents in the Midwest keep full with government farm subsidies. Go back to Pratt and take a class in advanced interpretive cray-pas art instead of crying about being out of work. You guys are like vultures circling around the carcass of my entertainment empire as though it was carrion! I?m like Phineas Freak when he was exposed as that religious cult leader.

A sardine , Tupperware, and a bb gun

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 23:11:10 2001
Comment: Who cares how many parents she has? And frankly,
I think book sales are going to go up (for Suck) since I just bought one. Didn't they ever have a hard back?

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 22:50:53 2001
Comment:
Please correct me if I misspeak, Marilyn. Your column certainly does NOT project a person with the highest IQ on the planet. How many patents do you have?

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 22:38:30 2001
Comment: I'm not sure if I can hang around until I get the
shut up award. I had a whole thing written up about why people know what they do, when you know what you've done and how you know when you know what you've done but I decided not to post it because I'm going to contact Emily and see if her husband will be my intermediary. I'm feeling kinda squeaky since my karma is now 2.

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 22:10:25 2001
Comment: :)

Name: Marilyn Vos Savant
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 21:18:13 2001
Comment:
>I thought you would have corrected someone's
misspelling of euphamism which is euphemism

Ellen: Too many typos, too little time. I notice, though, that "schizophrenic" is spelled correctly ...

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 21:16:09 2001
Comment:

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 20:45:34 2001
Comment:
Ellen my dear, can you spell "schizophrenic?"

Name: EllenSmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 20:36:11 2001
Comment: Thanks for the correct spelling Marilyn.
I thought you would have corrected someone's
misspelling of euphamism which is euphemism
but I'm sure you've been busy.
Anyway, how much can it cost to write a few articles occasionally? I mean like, how much
could Tiny Little Penis really cost? Are they still selling the Tshirts?

Name: Captain Callous
Email: blowmejoey@ivehadanuff.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 17:59:29 2001
Comment: By the way, reading over my own post reminded me of something.

Every "Important Web Player" in the circle-jerk, incestuous dotcom industry was thus kissing their asses and giving them free PR from the moment they launched.

Modern Humorist fits this description equally well. They're next to die.

Name: Marilyn Vos Savant
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 17:16:40 2001
Comment:
>let's all take some Demoral and calm down
It's Demerol, and I'm as calm as someone with the highest IQ on the planet can be. But thank you for your concern.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 16:12:41 2001
Comment: wow - this place is like a civil war. let's all take some Demoral and calm down, eh?

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 15:50:43 2001
Comment:
>Marilyn Dos Savant
BTW, ex-IT person, it's Marilyn Vos Savant. You probably knew that and just mis-typed the name ...

Name: EllenSmith
Email: violethorvath
Date: Sat Jun 9 15:17:44 2001
Comment:

Name: ex-IT person
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 15:01:14 2001
Comment: The ever strident (and arguably female) "ellensmith" posted some blather:

{snip}

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf. smeared richly with the effluvia
and offal accompanying your alleged
birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you
and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I vomit
at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a
weed, a fungus, the dreg of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. By comparison to you, a watermelon has the IQ and social graces of Marilyn Dos Savant. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting
to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to
access it more rapidly. Just post blank messages this will save both the time of those here, your intellectual betters, and valuable electrons on the servers.

Back to your garage sale. You know, I've never heard that particular euphamism for "street whore" before.

This wasn't a troll just you couldn't miss it, sweetie.

Name: The Other Cheek
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 14:21:34 2001
Comment:
>Netslaves [was] a partner in Plastic's launch ... Bill and myself (sic) spent hundreds of hours fiddling with ... their automated publishing bot ... restocking Plastic's Work Channel with fresh content, checking links, etc. ... Netslaves.com didn't get any real traffic ... Plastic didn't sell any ads beyond a few house banners ... all we lost was ... a lot of hours [and] ... about 1,000 extra on ISP bills maintaining Plastic and performing other jobs required to glue things together. So figure a wash that was below 5,000 ... in terms of bucks spent and unbilled time. Was it Pure Netslavery? Of course. Did we ever make a dime? Not on your life. So it was a wash ...

One thing I am confused about: According to my understanding of the term, "wash," in return for the estimated 5000.00 you spent in unbilled time and unreimbursed out-of-pocket expenses, you, Bill and/or Netslaves should have netted 5000.00 in income. If your income from this venture was less than that -- or nothing at all -- then it's a loss, correct?

Another thing I am confused about: This bomb blew up almost exactly a year to the day that Netslaves rained all manned of disapprobation on the shell-shocked heads of APB staffers who volunteered their labor (with no out-of-pocket costs, except subway fare) to keep the Web site up and running to give the owners of the company more time to conclude (ultimately unsuccessful) negotiations to sell the site. Based on the (less-than-candid, in hindsight) information the company's owners gave APB employees about their chances of success, the staff thought donating 80 hours of labor (not hundreds) was the best way of saving their livelihoods.

So how come when you guys devote hundreds of unbilled hours and a significant sum in unreimbursed expenses (which eroded your anemic incomes even more), you were supporting a noble experiment in indie content sites -- but APB staffers were naive and stupid? What's the diff?

>Have I ever mentioned that I am a black man in a racist society?
Yes, Steve, every chance you get. Have I mentioned that I am a woman in a sexist industry? No, because I refuse to wallow in victimology and to let the bastards get the better of me. Eventually I will prevail -- maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually. I never will prevail if I spend my days bitching about the way things are instead of trying to change them.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 14:20:29 2001
Comment: My sentiments exactly, Captain.

Name: Captain Callous
Email: blowmejoey@Ivehadanuff.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 13:50:16 2001
Comment: "But in the end, they were, as you say, directly responsible for the likes of us, FC, and all the other "edgy" sites out there."

Bullshit! Suck was never anything more than the "first mover" into an inevitable web-content category: The Obnoxious Ranter. If they hadn't started it, someone else would have, within WEEKS. Hell, someone probably DID start it before them, but they ended up getting lost in the dust because Suck was run from directly inside Cool People Central world headquarters at Hotwired. Every "Important Web Player" in the circle-jerk, incestuous dotcom industry was thus kissing their asses and giving them free PR from the moment they launched. No other writers could ever have possibly competed with that.

Happily, this same blind they're-one-of-us worship is what directly lead to Suck's demise. Now that everyone gets to use the web, and participate in it, the LAST thing anyone wants to read is the pseudoanonymous, prefab snarkiness of a bunch of dotcom insiders who are, in 2001, arrogant whiny losers by definition.

Fuck you, Suck. Go fellate the Pets.com puppet, Joey. Your free ride is over.

Name: Captain Callous
Email: blowmejoey@Ivehadanuff.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 13:49:23 2001
Comment: But in the end, they were, as you say, directly responsible for the likes of us, FC, and all the other "edgy" sites out there.

Bullshit! Suck was never anything more than the "first mover" into an inevitable web-content category: The Obnoxious Ranter. If they hadn't started it, someone else would have, within WEEKS. Hell, someone probably DID start it before them, but they ended up getting lost in the dust because Suck was run from directly inside Cool People Central world headquarters at Hotwired. Every "Important Web Player" in the circle-jerk, incestuous dotcom industry was thus kissing their asses and giving them free PR from the moment they launched. No other writers could ever have possibly competed with that.

Happily, this same blind they're-one-of-us worship is what directly lead to Suck's demise. Now that everyone gets to use the web, and participate in it, the LAST thing anyone wants to read is the pseudoanonymous, prefab snarkiness of a bunch of dotcom insiders who are, in 2001, arrogant whiny losers by definition.

Fuck you, Suck. Go fellate the Pets.com puppet, Joey. Your free ride is over.

Name: George W. Bush
Email: gwbush@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 13:03:50 2001
Comment:
Have I mentioned that I am a black man in a racist society?

Name: Steve Baldwin
Email: Steve_Baldwin@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:47:17 2001
Comment: It actually is true that we're going to be relaunching Netslaves soon - more hardware, bandwidth etc. The good news is that the costs are about the same. And yes - a week or so is a reasonable estimate, provided the gremlins stay away. Whether this improves the content here is a question that will remain unanswerable this week.

I do hope that any features we add won't make the content much more confusing than it already is.

(also not a troll)

Name: ellensmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:47:05 2001
Comment: (someone wrote)I could go on, but I think I'm either going to cry or puke....

Do it now. But drop by the garage sale first and haggle with me over a quarter item and ask if you can have it for a dime and once you've established that you're a jerk then go out and get
a job giving computer lectures for 700 a pop, or become a member of the digerati who want it for Freking free so take the FAN FOR 5 you pathetic slob!!!!!WHO DO SOME OF THESE PEOPLE REMIND YOU OF???? LET"S SEE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

Name: ELLENSMITH
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:43:03 2001
Comment: Dear Dad,

Keep posting? Do I work for you? What am I your slave? Do you find that a little ironic steve? I mean what are the rules on posting? How often can we post? You must have rules? Where are they? Oh I can see it now. And the last thing I need is some nutcase at a garage sale going on about how he used to "do code" but he's gone back to the lawn care business? God, where do you get this stuff? DO YOU THINK I"M SOME KIND OF AN IDIOT OVER HERE?????DO THE LAWN AND STFU AND WHEN I SAID I DON"T TALK TO COMPUTER TYPES ANYMORE I SAID IT FOR A REASON!!

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:41:35 2001
Comment: >>>you've got NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE THE WEB CONSULTANCY BUSINESS. End of story.

Mama,

I'm not a programmer. But I've been in this industry since 1992. I've got a right to an opinion.

I'm curious. What's your background?

Name: ex-IT person
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:39:37 2001
Comment: All of this dialogue is making me homesick for
the "technical" "staff" meetings way back when.

Same level of rolling bile.

Same level of sophmoric efforts at being funny.

Same level of "I'm bored, so you have to entertain me because I'm such a waterhead I can't do it for myself" ego.

I could go on, but I think I'm either going to cry or puke....

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:28:03 2001
Comment: We obviously have a simple, open posting system from the days when we didn't have much traffic. We've been working on the code for nearly two months and it has involved no small expense and time on our part.

If someone wants to make fun of us on our own boards, we can pull the comments or ignore them.

But we're going to be upgrading the site within days, and thus, end much of this.

Keep in mind, FC was closed by hacks, had ID's stolen, crashed daily for months. No site is immune to these kinds of problems.

And unlike a web consultancy, we're not charging clients 250 an hour for the same level of crap, nor will someone have to come in and clean up the code.

When the new site comes up, you'll know it. Until then, keep posting.

Name: Mama Cretin
Email: reallydumbwoman@fuckedcompany.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:10:25 2001
Comment: I've had quite enough of you idiots - published or unpublished. Pud is better in bed than Josh Harris, Tanya Corrin, Carl Steadmen AND Steve Gilliard stacked on the same mattress. Find a 16-year old who can do some hard code for you guys - until that time, you've got NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE THE WEB CONSULTANCY BUSINESS. End of story.


Name: ELLENSMITH
Email: VIOLETHORVATH@HOTMAIL.COM
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:09:40 2001
Comment: Have I mentioned that I'm a black man in a racist society? That's why Suck and Feed failed.

Yeah you mentioned that several times. Sing some Barry White or STFU.

Name: ELLENSMITH
Email: VIOLETHORVATH@HOTMAIL.COM
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:06:45 2001
Comment: To Mr. NoName...(your comment)
HELP - SUCK IS GONE AND THEY SENT ME HERE AND I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING IRONIC IN A POST-GRADUATE WAY. I FEEL BETRAYED - HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO GIVE TO NETSLAVES FOR YOU TO ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?

Oh that's funny. How familiar that sounds. I'll tell you what you freak. I just had some idiot swagger up to me at my garage sale with a picture
that I had priced for a dollar and he tells me and I quote, "you know what I"m gonna do for you? I'm gonna give you a quarter for this." Well guess what. They sent me home from the garage sale because I believe I looked him in the eye and explained what he could do with his remark and
I wasn't selling it for less than 50c!!! YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHITE TRASH!!!!!YEAH IT WAS A MAN THAT SORRY SOB!!!!IT WASN"T PRICED 500!!!!!!!SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE REALLY PATHETIC!!!!
I am just a little sick and tired of people offering me jack sh for something that happens to be worth something. AND HEY EMILY GOOD FOR YOU!!! IS ANYONE SURPRISED ABOUT TANYA???? AND HEY PADRE DO
NOT
CARE!!!!
I"VE WRITTEN ON THIS PIECE OF CRAP FOR YEARS TO FIND OUT HOW BAD IT WAS AND EVEN I COULDN"
T BELIEVE HOW BAD IT WAS. IT"S LIKE IT JUST SUCKS IT ALL OUT OF YOU AND IT"S SICK!!!!BUT AT LEAST THE MAN AT THE FORD PLACE BOUGHT ME A FRIGGIN CUP OF COFFEE!!!!

Name: concerned citizen
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 12:01:24 2001
Comment: Yes, PLEEZE guys, finish coding your filter that gets rid of those awful, goat-porn wielding Fucked Company people, esp. Mama Whatsis.

She couldn't see a joke if it hit her in her big mouth. :)

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 11:42:05 2001
Comment: >>>If you can't then how can you criticize any web development company if you can deal with something at this level. Hint. Just ask any 16 year old kid about his newspro hacks. But I bet you can't so you remain unpubished writers of staggering envy

Mama,

We're not unpublished writers. Check your facts. As for the rest of it, we're working on the problem.

It's a nice day. Why not go out and enjoy it? All this stuff doesn't matter anyway.

Not a troll.

Name: Mama Cretin
Email: reallydumbwoman@fuckedcompany.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 11:36:14 2001
Comment: Netslaves,

You have a web design problem of a relatively simply kind.

Trolls are spoofing your names on your own message boards.

Now all you do is have to solve it in a week or so.

If you can't then how can you criticize any web development company if you can deal with something at this level.

Hint. Just ask any 16 year old kid about his newspro hacks.

But I bet you can't so you remain unpubished writers of staggering envy.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 10:45:23 2001
Comment: HELP - SUCK IS GONE AND THEY SENT ME HERE AND I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING IRONIC IN A POST-GRADUATE WAY. I FEEL BETRAYED - HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO GIVE TO NETSLAVES FOR YOU TO ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 10:27:27 2001
Comment:
The only reason Suck and Feed failed is because I am a black man in a racist society.

Have I ever told you that New York is the cultural and financial capital of the world? It is. You can trust me on this. That is why Silicon Alley is superior to Silicon Valley, even if the companies in Silicon Valley actually make money.

Have I ever mentioned that I am a black man in a racist society?

Have you ever noticed how I write these rambling critiques of companies that rely on banner ads and beg for reader support (like my recent rip for Salon) while netslaves also relies on banner ads and begs for reader support? Apparently I haven't.

Did I mention that New York is the financial and cultural capital of the world?

My buddy Baldwin says that netslaves has decided to stay in the minors. All of us here could be bigger and more successful than the companies we constantly criticize --- we could be bigger than Microsoft and richer than Bill Gates if we really want to, trust me on this --- but we have made the conscious decision to hang on by our fingernails and hope enough people will donate to us through Amazon. We know we're all smarter and betetr managers than the people at Salon/June/ASk Jeeves/CMGI/etc./etc/, but we choose to be small, broke, and obscure instead of demonstrating our superior skills. We much prefer trying to live off the advance for our next book and hope that lightning will strike twice.

Have I mentioned that I'm a black man in a racist society? That's why Suck and Feed failed.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 09:53:04 2001
Comment: You're all a bunch of screaming buzzards.

Name: magicalkitty
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 09:38:52 2001
Comment: You're a cookie made of arsenic, Harvard. But we love you anyway - you've got such a nice smooth face and you speak such nice big words that bespeak your peerless breeding.

Name: two-faced
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 09:37:07 2001
Comment: Guys - with all due respect to your handwringing prowess, Suck doesn't matter. Netslaves doesn't matter. Nor does Feed, Slate, Stiv, Spim - all the rest. They're all expensive decorative candywork on a rotten cake.

What does matter? Checking my stocks ! (well, it used to). Checking my free hard disk space (hmm - OK, maybe not). Downloading my free music (sorry - that's gone too).

I've got it - checking my REAL TIME DEBT. Now that I'll pay for...


Name: Harvard MBA
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 09:19:44 2001
Comment:
1) The shakeout will continue until things are restored to a more natural order. People must quit being shocked by stories like this, and come to the acceptance phase.

2) NetSlaves has no choice but to remain in the minors, so don't portray it as a decision you have to make. Moreover, NetSlaves will close down, and soon. Eventually, a 30,000/yr hobby just won't be worth it anymore.


Name: schrumpater
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 08:43:25 2001
Comment: You're a BUZZARD, Baldwin - just like Humberto said. What the hell are you so high and mighty about. I just checked your Amazon Honor System box, and netslaves has collected less than 30 in the last two weeks. So before you start attacking absurd, preposterous content schemes catering to post-graduate uber-ironic clientelles, take a good look in the mirror, bunkie!

Name: Padre50
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 08:35:26 2001
Comment: The idea of all of these Harvard and Princeton-educated people waking up on Monday without their favorite intellectual plaything being there for their erudite amusement is too too sad.

I haven't read Suck for years - and I don't know anybody who has. It got to be a formula, which is OK if you can trick somebody into paying you for this same formula, day in, day out. But this didn't happen - and I guess the rich kids who read it everyday were too penny-pinching to throw any money their way. Not that Suck ever asked for this - they were too proud for their own good.

Name: samezone19
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 08:05:31 2001
Comment: >Is this another case of APBNews, with folks' soldiering on despite the ineviable? I don't know. It certainly seems that way.

I think there's a BIG difference here. If Joey and Stephen want to work for free - i.e work "pro bono", they're making informed choices. They're not trying to trick other people into following them, thinking that things will get better. And if a few people want to help them with free GIFs or ASCII, what's the harm in that?

Name: EllenSmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 08:03:50 2001
Comment: Hey Steve. Don't lecture me about baseball. If I hadn't been in the way recently someone would have caught a Chipper Jones foul ball ok? When was the last time that happened to you? What I was trying to say was this. Forget about the money thing because I don't want to hear about it anymore. We've all got the money thing. We understand it, we got it. The thing is that in order to have done something, you've got to do something. Because they did something, they've done something. I posted over on Plastic that I would donate 141.85 from my recent garage sale and I agree with the guy who said they should have asked for money. God, after doing this garage sale I wouldn't have haggled with them at all. I think I can tell when something is really good and they were really good
and it's going to be painful now to see people talking about what they did when we know what they did. I know what I did and you know what you did. Or I used to know what I did and sometimes I still do(know what I did). But is that really the important thing? Does knowing what you did really matter? Does it matter if you know what you did and I know what I did but neither of us really knows what the other one did? There are a lot of people who know what they did but no one here truly knows what they did. The whole thing is ebb and flow ebb and flow. It's like sometimes you want to walk on the beach, sometimes you want to get in the water, sometimes you want to walk out on the pier. Sometimes you want to be in a boat. Sometimes you just want to pick up seashells. But wearing shoes on the sand is wrong especially if they're black like Richard Nixon's were and I'm not sure why everyone doesn't know that yet.

Name: Emily Dresner-Thornber
Email: zenith@orleans.pave-france.org
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:49:47 2001
Comment: Am I still relevant? Does my bitching count? I'll take you all on. No-nothings who can't accomplish the simplest of tasks. Why come to me if you can't accept my demands? Let's face it. We're disintegrating in front of everyone. I should be paid back wages for my unique contributions. Any further quarrels, talk to my husband. I no longer speak without an intermediary for I am quite busy writing a book that will MAKE MONEY.

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:36:14 2001
Comment: Bill. Bill. Bill. The sodium from the canned chili is affecting your brain.

FYI I've already fucked Tanya and she wasn't that good. If I had Harris's money, I'd certainly do better than that.

And once again, how can we publish long articles criticizing the web consulting business if we can't even redesign our own site.

Maybe this stuff isn't as easy as we're saying.

Maybe we SHOULD hire Razorfish. At least you're inane ramblings would take so long to load people could tune them out.

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:33:15 2001
Comment: Steve. You STFU. Enought with the military analogies already. They get tired after awhile. And we all KNOW you're obsessed with Tanya Corrin. Why don't you just ask her out for Christ's sake instead of slagging on Josh Harris every chance you get while masturbating over old Pseudo videos. I'd do her too Steve (hell, right now I'm so desperate I'd do anybody) but not to the point of obsession.

Name: Emily Dresner-Thornber
Email: zenith@orleans.pave-france.org
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:31:59 2001
Comment: If you fucking wankers would make up your minds, I could have knocked this thing out months ago. I have all the answers. I asked for new hosting, you provide it, gee I ran out of complaints, let me blame someone else this time.

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:30:44 2001
Comment: Bill. Why don't you just STFU. I know people who never had a chance to design a "content play."

"Content Play" for them was going straight to the Marines from high-school.

It's not that hard to code in PHP. Don't you think that before we rake a whole industry over the coals as being unnecessary we should show that we can do it ourselves?

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:28:51 2001
Comment: Gee Steve. A bit bitter, aren't we. Maybe we should hire Razorfish.

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 03:27:42 2001
Comment: Exactly. Steve. Bill. Comeon guys. We've been saying that you don't need a staff or a professional web designer to run a play yet

WE CAN'T EVEN ACCOMPLISH A SIMPLE REDESIGN ON OUR OWN SITE

Let's get our own shit in order before we play know it alls.

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 02:42:04 2001
Comment: Dude, checking links isn't "fiddling with Slash" code. You guys have been saying for months yer gonna get some decent cgi (arguable if slash is. Featureful, yeah I guess but still piss weak) but I can still post as Bill Lass-ard. Tying this hunk of shit to sql server isn't that hard. Or even just using a fargin' cookie would help. Hell I'll even settle for oldest comment first.

Name: SecretAgent
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 01:55:32 2001
Comment: Perhaps they should have could have used the amazon honor system. WHich by the way has anyone actually donated?

Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 01:50:57 2001
Comment: Blank.

People have done both, think WWII.

Ellen,

Huh? Joey never had a fastball like Randy Johnson.

Bill,

I do not consider Joey Anuff or his associates honorable people. As the stories come out, it will be clear why I feel this way.

I will say this: some people must learn that their acts will not only be judged by themselves, but others. And today's expediency is tomorrow's problem.

With that said, Suck and Feed stopped growing in 1996. Joey and Steve Johnson never got past the day their sites made money.

Who did they speak to? Who did they represent? Was it you? Me? I don't think so. They were part of Salon's audience and they ran into the same problem.

It isn't a left perspective, but a SF perspective. Not that there's a big difference.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 01:38:18 2001
Comment: Hey, Baldwin:

Whould you rather survive eating rice or starve on sushi?

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 01:36:41 2001
Comment: Suck should have died in 1996, but it was this big vanity project and everybody protected it. First Wired, then Lycos, then Automatic Media. You don't need a big corporate deal when you're only doing 800 words a day plus a graphic.

Suck was the prototyical dot-com, the first to put hype before substance. It was the first to take the raw arrogance of cyberculture and make it acceptable to corporate America.

Plastic.com tried to rip off both Weblogging and Slashdot. Except they simply picked a bunch of the usual links off news feeds and highlighted whatever fit Joey Anuff's left-wing jollies. Plus it took to long to load. Good riddance.

Name: EllenSmith
Email: violethorvath
Date: Sat Jun 9 00:55:37 2001
Comment: "I was afraid that Suck joining Plastic would lead to this. A sad day and yes it really does suck. "

Hey do you have a name or what?

Name: EllenSmith
Email: violethorvath@hotmail.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 00:51:59 2001
Comment: I mean I understand what you're saying but I'm getting a little tired of all the doom and gloom.
As far as I'm concerned it's like Randy Johnson said. He said "I know what I did." Well they know what they did. You know what you did. I know what I did. And they did it. All this crap about people not knowing if they did something when of course they did something. They did. They are. You are. We are. We've done what we've done and we'll do what we'll do and it is what it is. It's just like when Edith Piaf sings about Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien. Well she did what she did,
Randy Johnson did what he did and like Renoir said when everybody tried to overanalyze what he did he said, "They're just roses." I never have even understood what Plastic is, but it is what it is. Renoir was what he was. And if he were still alive he'd be doing what he did and that's why people need to keep doing what they do. And frankly there is nothing wrong with roses being roses and people doing what they do. Suck did what they did, it was big and they did it. And sometimes doing what you do is enough even if you're not sure what you did. And I think everybody knows that it's enough to have done what we all did.

Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Sat Jun 9 00:50:27 2001
Comment: Steve,

This is a very thoughtful and balanced article -- far better than I could muster at this point.

While I was never a big fan of FEED, I respected what they did, and FWIW, thought Steven Johnson was a very nice fellow. As for Suck, Jesus! They had a tendency to piss me the fuck off. But in the end, they were, as you say, directly responsible for the likes of us, FC, and all the other "edgy" sites out there. Personally, I don't think we've seen the last of them. They have a cult following and I think Joey will figure out some way to bring them back.

The most curious aspect of this whole thing, to me, is how Plastic will continue operations. Is this another case of APBNews, with folks' soldiering on despite the ineviable? I don't know. It certainly seems that way.

I would prefer to keep my personal feeling about how Plastic treated us to myself. But I will say this much: it was a good idea that could've been executed better.

Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 00:42:21 2001
Comment: I was afraid that Suck joining Plastic would lead to this. A sad day and yes it really does suck.

Name: teanicitus
Email:
Date: Sat Jun 9 00:41:19 2001
Comment: A sad day. Back when I lived in the hells of South Iowa Suck brightend my day. They will be sorely missed and I keep hpoing to hear that rumors of their demise are greatly exagerrated