Summer Fun (Sans Funding)
Posted Tue Jun 5 03:10:48 2001 by orooney |
By Steve Gilliard
Summer's almost here and despite a grim winter and spring, things
might be looking up. Even if you aren't working, it's not like you have
eat pork rinds and watch Springer all day long. You can get out, enjoy
the day, and still look for work. So let's stop chronicling failure for
a day and think of the fun available this summer for the economically
challenged.
Look, you can sit around and mope that you're not going to Europe
this summer and Jamaica will only be a stop on the subway line or that
you're only going to see a harbor from the landward side, or you can
enjoy the summer you've got. Even if you get a job, you won't be
travelling and since the Hamptons and pricey resorts are out, time to
make use of what you have at hand. It's summer, it can't suck that bad.
The Drinking Summer
Now there is no better time to consume alcohol than in the summer.
While the pointy-headed scientists say that booze dehydrates you in the
hot summer sun, that is why there is a need for lots of beer. You and
alcohol are going to be acquainted so here's some ideas for an
enjoyable drinking summer:
Vodka, rum and gin, the holy trinity of the summer liquor
aficionado. Why? Because these light spirits make the summer drinks
extra tasty. If you're sneaking a drink at the local community pool or
city beach, why drink scotch? Look at Stern personality Hank the Dwarf.
He starts his day with vodka and coke. Now, that's not my particular
tipple, but who can tell that bottle is filled with anything but Coke
as you sit on a New York City park bench?
It's not the winter, you aren't going to be sipping brandy and
quoting Baudelaire. You need a social drink. My fraternity friends at
Sig Ep used to make a libation called Watusi punch. You've seen it,
you've had it. Now the original recipe called for grain alcohol, but
since one can no longer buy a jug of Everclear in a Hoboken liquor
store, cheap vodka will have to do. How cheap? Crystal, Popov, the
cheaper the better. Why? You're not having martinis, so save the Ketel
One and Gray Goose for the indoor parties.
Any bar brand is OK. Get a 50 gallon garbage can. Buy maybe four or
five jugs of vodka. Get lots of fruit juice. A couple of cans of
pineapple juice, grape juice, a couple of cans of fruit punch mix
Hawaiian Punch has a great flavor, but could be pricey), lots of frozen
OJ, a few bags of ice. Some fruit as well. And don't forget the
oranges, pineapples, and other stuff which can hold up in water
for a few hours. You might want to test this in a
small batch before you spend the money.
OK, now you can dip a sweaty arm into this mix, as a
friend used to do to add "flavor" or you can take a
big spoon. If you have an insect problem, you'll want to cover it up. You can also make this portable.
A summer beach drink is vodka lemonade. OK, take fresh
lemons and slice them. cover with a layer of sugar. Do
this for every lemon you have. Mash with a potato masher until you get
liquid. Strain. Pour vodka to taste in mixture. Pour everything into
sun tea jug, they cost four bucks at Lechters, then add a mix of tap
water and bottled water. Shake until right water/lemon/vodka taste is
achieved. Add in lemons, which will be sweet enough to eat. This drink
has a short lifespan, so drink it up. In a backyard, you might want to
make two jugs so everyone can get a shot at summer fun.
Of course, for more sophisticated events, where people
may keep their shirts on, rum drinks are great. Pineapple/orange juice
and rum are great. Use light rum for fruit drinks, dark rum for
carbonated drinks.
For the beer drinker, New York summers scream Bud. But
if that is too much for you, the Czech Budvar Budweiser, going by
Czechvar or some other ridiculous name, is the second best beer in the
world, if you like Pilsen's Pilsner Urquell (drink only on tap), you'll
like this as well. It's summer. You don't have to drink Bud, because
there are other pilsners and lagers which will quench thirst and not
cut back on flavor. No need to get Coors Light or other flavorless
beers. Sam Adams, Pete's Wicked Ale and others make suitable beers for
the summer.
Summer Charcuterie
OK let's start with the gizzards. An old friend once held a
streetside barbecue where chicken gizzards were the main treat. Now, I
grew up in a gizzard-eating household. Gizzards in gravy, fried
gizzards. Another friend likes the hearts as well, but I'll stick with
gizzards. It makes for a nice appetizer for the friends. Get a jug of
oil, flour and toss in the hot oil. They cook quick. Set out with beer
and it's good eatin'.
But the reality is that most folks may not take to fried gizzards with hot sauce.
So what to fix and not go broke. When in doubt, go Alsatian. It's
summer. Get a roll of Italian sausage, a roll of thick pork sausage and
bratwurst, kielbasa or whatever long cooked sausage you can find. Just
drop the fucker on the grill and let cook. Buy good, Italian bread, a
couple of kinds of mustard. (I like Guldens, but I'm from New York.)
Grill all this meat until cooked. Let the guests slice and eat.
You can also make that wiener sauce they use with cocktail franks.
Simple: catsup, sugar and cider vinegar, mix until sweet and tasty. I
also like emerald relish. Reminds me of Nedicks, a long gone New York
hot dog place. Snapple Orangeade is the perfect summer accompaniment
for a forgotten New York memory.
You can also grill pork. My advice is go with a shoulder and smoke
that puppy. But pork and chicken also work. Buy a bag of legs and grill
away. Wings should be fried, or grilled on the George Forman.
Beef is tricky. Get the best beef you can afford. Go to a butcher
and get a few pounds of beef ground to order. Don't go cheap because
the burgers taste like shit. If you're going to spend money, spend it
on ground beef. As far as the cheese goes, Kraft melts better than deli
cheese. My favorite is the thick Kraft deluxe cheese.
Same with hot dogs. Buy the best you can afford. Personally, I skip the wieners and go with the sausage.
Down by the River
In New York, I don't know about other places, one can
catch and release fish across the city. Including the rivers. Buying a
fishing rig can run 40, but once you
do the research, you can fish all day long. If you're
cheap or broke, you can even fish in Central Park.
The Harlem Meer has a place which will rent you a pole
and you can fish along the lake, which is an amazingly
beautiful place filled with birds. You won't be taking home tuna,
actually you have to return what you get anyway. There's also pier
fishing at Sheepshead Bay, and along the shoreline of the city.
Why fish? Because New York is a harbor city and there are fish in
the water. Also, if you catch and release, no harm is done at the end
of the day. It is truly one of the most relaxing ways to spend a day
and if you live in some neighborhoods, literally a five or six minute
trip to rejoin nature.
Also, a nice wind whips up off the water. It makes you
feel all outdoorsy.
The Arts
OK, the tourists are infesting the city, not just New York, but any large city, so where do you go to escape them? Try the arts.
The first stop is Barnes and Noble for a day of reading and iced
coffee. But if books aren't your speed, most areas have a range of art
you can enjoy, free summer concerts and the New York speciality,
Shakespeare in the Park, with award-winning actors. A long line? You
bet. But no charge.
But there is nothing like exploring a museum on a summer weekday to
experience solitude in action. The Met is my museum of choice, but
other people like the Whitney, MOMA, The American Museum of Natural
History.
Museums are like libraries for the senses. There is nothing as
close to godliness than to stand inches from a Picasso or a Botticelli,
something you've only seen in books, take shape and have a life of its
own. The museum is a refuge from the world and an inspiration for
personal greatness. It's also a great an air-conditioned place to hide
in for a couple of hours.
Art movie houses are also a good place to hide. Why sit through Pearl Harbor,
a movie HBO will run to death around Pearl Harbor Day, when you can see
some HK film classics you've never seen before? The summer, especially
one where you've just escaped a temp job or get enough severance to
lounge around for a while, is a great time to explore what you haven't
explored before.
Reading
Most people think this is the time for light reading.
Forget that. This is the time to read heavy works,
works that make you think. After all, if you're stuck
around the house waiting for a phone call, why waste
the time with another manual or some silly book about
a woman, her dog and a man? Read War and Peace,
read
Graham Greene and Tolstoy. You have time to think. Read the new Adams
bio by David McCullough or Stephen Ambrose's searing history of D-Day.
Silly books are for when you have no time. You have time. Plenty of
time. Would you like to think about your bad luck and obsess on finding
a new job, or on the weekend, think about something more than you?
You don't need to worry about silly romances. Read about epic
romances instead, stuff that isn't pedantic. If one needs inspiration,
one will not find it in the paperback romances you can buy anywhere.
Read about adversity and great deeds instead. You read about people who
are in a tight jam and get out. The Killer Angels is a perfect
summer book. If you want to learn about Gettysburg and why it was the
most important days in US history, this is the place to start.
Have fun!
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