1) Get it in writing. Require an offer memo that includes duties,
compensation and benefits. If they refuse, refuse the job. Companies
that will not put it in writing are basically waiting to lie to you.
2) Do not sign anything before you get the job. Especially
?applications?. Offer to sign their documents after a job has been
offered with the understanding that all is contingent upon completion
of their various checks. If anything this is great for making the HR
hacks cry.
3) Do not work for a company that checks credit, arrest records or
that drug tests. These companies are waiting for a reason to fire you
unrelated to your performance. How any of the above affects your
ability to do your work is unproven.
4) Do not allow reference checks before the offer. It is a waste of
everyone?s time. Allow reference checks upon the offer with the
understanding that your start is contingent upon reference
confirmation.
5) Look at their annual reports if they have them. It will give you
insight that is generally unavailable from the interviewer. And would
you work for a company that does the things that Netslaves so well
documents?
6) Be very averse to working more than 5% unpaid OT per week.
7) Push for a scheduled review. It is one of the only ways to
protect yourself against spurious accusations and illegal termination.
8) Spend 15 minutes at the end of the day documenting. Record who
said what, who did what and to whom. It will help you when the shit
hits the fan.
9) Password protect all personal documents. You would be surprised
how many managers spend their weekends looking through your computer
files.
10) Delete all personal email daily. See above
11) Take advantage of every benefit available. Especially tuition reimbursement.
12) Never stop looking. No job is your last until you die. There is always something better.
13) Do not believe your own hype.
14) Continually praise others.
15) Learn someone else's job too. That is the best protection against getting laid off.
16) Do not get reimbursed; direct bill everything. Many have been
left holding the bag for that last business trip they took, or book
they bought.
17) Quit after the first missed paycheck. Few companies fail to
make payroll just once. Those that do do it all the time. Do not wait
around for that owed check either. Just assume it is gone.
18) Don?t mistake co-workers for friends, family or lovers. And do
not mistake your job for your life. While you may meet your future
husband or wife at your job, you may also meet the person who fires you
because you broke their heart.
19) Do not do favors or collect favors. That currency is hard to redeem.
20) Do not humiliate or be humiliated. Trust me, karma is a bitch, both ways
Name: R D J
Email:robert_downey_jr@crackpipe.com Date: Mon Apr 30 15:11:18 2001
Comment:
Don't work for so-called relieos pukes or family friendly companies.
These moralistic ass-monkeys are also waiting for a reason to fire you
unrelated to your job. God is a bitch!
So the fact that you have a limit to how much idiotic abuse and
humiliation you will stand is a roadblock to your rising in the
corporate heirarchy..Jones, if you want make it here, you bend over
when we say bend over and tell us how deep you want it..guess that's
just the American business way..
Name: MasterPo
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 16:35:27 2001
Comment: Labor - Sure I've asked. The answer usually is "Because that's when
we promised it to them!" Of course the "we" didn't include me (i.e. I
didn't promise it to them nor was I consulted about the due date).
Infact I said that once too, that I wasn't the one who
promised it to them at that time. I got a good lecture about how I'm
not a professional, not a team player, and my attitude problem is what
has kept me from being promoted to Senior.
Have u ever asked WHY said thing has to be done by such and such a
date? I have worked proposals and have raced to get the damned thing to
the assigned client recepient by the precise minute of the precise hour
demanded in the RFP only to find out the assigned receiver had left
town for two weeks..so the had-to-be-there proposal sat on his desk for
two weeks..its a subtle form of sadism they practice and if u stand for
it well..
Name: MasterPo
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 16:05:37 2001
Comment: Hard (read difficult) work doesn't bother me. Doing something I'm
not too thrilled with doesn't bother me. Having a short deadline I can
swallow too. But having all those rolled into one really fries my
bacon!
The short deadline is the worst. No one knows what has to be done or what it will take to make it done but by heavens it must
be ready by (whenever) or it's your ass! You can try to explain 'til
you're blue in the face about how it's not possible to make that date
with what little you know and all else you have to do (you think they'd
let you alone to do one task at a time?!). All they (management) will
hear is whinning.
Inevitably you fail to reach the date or the goal or both. Actually
you didn't fail, management failed but you get the blame and the
fallout.
You forgot the most important rule of all: make sure the job involves something you enjoy doing. Otherwise, don't even bother.
In any case, the job market is a lot tighter now, so it is not always possible for the candidate to dictate terms like that.
I also agree 100% with DocToxic's suggestion to put some money away
if you possibly can. It helps your sanity a lot when you know you can
pay your rent, taxes and groceries for several months if your job
disappears.
Name: DocToxic
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 14:11:00 2001
Comment:
I have a sure fire way to beat all of this. My idea allows you to tell
your boss to fuck off, find the perfect job in a time frame that is
comfortable, and live the life you have always wanted. The secret
is.......
SAVE YOUR MONEY.
I am amazed that people who think their job sucks do not have a
plan to get out. While it may take time to find another job, you can
start saving your money right now.
Does your job pay you too little to save? Are your expenses to high?
Get a roomate
Sell your TV and CD's.
get a part time job.
Sell your car and take the bus.
Go on credit counseling.
Name: The Lone Twister
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 13:38:24 2001
Comment: I have a way out of this whole ugly morass..I am going tO retire..a pox on all their houses..who needs em?
Name: bob
Email:pale_13@usa.net Date: Wed Apr 25 12:54:10 2001
Comment: 3) Do not work for a company that checks credit, arrest records or that drug tests.
Not necessarily. If you work for a financial company, they run
these for good reasons, and to compley with some law or another that
forbids people with fraud histories from working in them.
Name: MasterPo
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 10:52:49 2001
Comment: Ira - I was referring to openning an IRA in addtion to a
401k or other employer sponsored plan. I see it good for three reasons:
1) You have more choices of where/what to invest in; 2) Extra
retirement savings; and 3) Tax deferred (or tax free in the case of
ROTH) growth.
In terms on rolling a 401k into an IRA instead of another 401k reason #1 also applies. Also, the money is under your control. You don't have to deal with HR or anyone else at your employer to manager your money.
As to where to look, all the major mutual fund companies have
websites with info. Take a look at Vanguard, T. Rowe Price, Scudder,
Fidelity etc etc. And most discount brokers (Schawb, Quick&Reilly,
Waterhouse etc) also have websites with IRA info.
Name: Ira Gelt
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 10:32:38 2001
Comment:
Can someone elaborate on the reason for setting up an IRA instead of
just rolling over a 401K to another one? Any suggestions on where to
look about setting one up. Thanks.
Be so bleding edge and have such white hot in demand skills that
they will beg to hire you even if you have a criminal record and won't
piss in their little cup
Name: MasterPo
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 09:17:41 2001
Comment: ps - Agree with Carl below. Setup an IRA ASAP!
That's probably the most common mistake people make. They think since they have a 401k they can't have an IRA. Yes you can!
The second mistake is people are slaves to the tax-deduction idea.
They say "Why should I do an IRA if I can't deduct it?" Bad thinking.
Name: MasterPo
Email: Date: Wed Apr 25 09:15:54 2001
Comment:
Re #1 - You'll only get your title and salary in writing. They'll never
put duties in writing. You can hold that up to tnem later. They aren't
that dumb.
Re #2,3 4, - You won't make it past 5 minutes in the first
interview if you say that, especially at larger companies. I don't like
it either but you're asking them for a job (i.e. money). You have to play at least somewhat by their rules.
Re #5 - Many people don't know how to critically review financial statements.
Re #8 - Good idea. But realistically you can't spend your life
documenting every conversation of passing exchange. That would take all
day. Probably indicates some psychological condition too. Besides, it's
just your word on paper. Nothing official about it.
Re #9, 10 - Floppies still work. Use them! And learn to use PGP. It drives network managers crazy! :-)
Re #14 - Sounds like ass kissing. What's the difference?
Re #16 - Can't see an employee doing this. A contractor maybe, but not staff.
Re #18 - Right on!
Overall a good list though kinda late in the game. NTL it does bear worth repeating many times.
Name: Carl Guderian
Email:carlg@vermilion-sands.com Date: Tue Apr 24 22:58:33 2001
Comment:
3) I suppose if you're a lone contractor in demand, you have a choice
not to pee in the cup. If you're gonna sit out the bust years in the
shelter of a big company, you probably won't have a choice. On the
bright side, they probably still just do urinalysis, and for the usual:
pot, coke, amphetamines and opiate, "natural" and synthetic. (The real
crime of dotcomania is that it left everyone too busy and stressed out
to drop acid). If you work for a sensitive government agency,
especially if you'll get a secret clearance, expect a background check
regardless.
6) If you're regularly working 5% unpaid overtime, then that's about 5% off the top of your salary, so bargain accordingly.
7) You'll get a scheduled review whether you want it or not, and
your raise will be 3-8% if you get one. Beware bell curve or "matrix"
ranking systems. Good raises for workers who "walk on water" come at
the expense of everyone else, and the system demands that *someone* be
stiffed.
9) & 10) Your files are most likely in a shared directory,
which is usually backed up daily. Get a yahoo account for your personal
email. If they're already monitoring keystrokes, you're already in the
wrong place.
10-1/2) If you have a personal website (offsite) with unlimited storage, back up your mp3s to it via ftp.
11) Start an IRA of your own. If you're ready to contribute before
they've got an independent pension plan set up, drop it in the IRA.
16) This can be difficult, because standard practice is a company card in your name, affecting your credit rating.
Name: jeff frerra
Email: Date: Tue Apr 24 20:26:51 2001
Comment: Specific followups:
> Get it in writing. Require an offer memo that includes duties, compensation and
> benefits.
Isn't this standard procedure with anything bigger than a mom and pop shop?
> 4) Do not allow reference checks before the offer. It is a waste of everyone's time.
How do you pull that one off without losing a possible job?
> 5) Look at their annual reports if they have them.
Better yet, read the stock message boards about the company to weed out interesting tidbits.
> 7) Push for a scheduled review. It is one of the only ways to
protect yourself against > spurious accusations and illegal
termination.
Isn't this also a way to GENERATE spurious accusations because the
boss can nitpick the questionnaire so he/she can make you look like the
weakest link? Unless you think you can get a raise, why bother? Dot-com
jobs don't last that long anyway.
> 8) Spend 15 minutes at the end of the day documenting.
How many jobs have so much politics that this is necessary, beyond keeping the old pages in your Franklin Planner?
> 9) Password protect all personal documents.
Better yet, keep no personal documents ow work computers. If you
must, swap disks back in forth. At worst, try and get a laptop so you
can unplug it and take it home at night.
> 10) Delete all personal email daily. See above
Gotta disagree. Don't ever get personal e-mail on a work account.
And keep all interoffice e-mail that pertains to you as paper trail.
> 20) Do not humiliate or be humiliated. Trust me, karma is a bitch, both ways
Seems to me that the history of New Media is full of psycho
personalities who belittle and torment others, then ride off with a
golden ticket once everything hits the fan.
Name: jeff frerra
Email: Date: Tue Apr 24 20:17:02 2001
Comment: Good list, but isn't it a little late? Aren't most of the dot-coms either dead, frozen or slaing back?
Name: Had some problems
Email: Date: Tue Apr 24 19:55:29 2001
Comment: There are still good reasons for a contract:
1) It defines what will happen. If the company will keep its word
then the contract is what they will do. Note that the big shots all
have contracts spelling out the bonuses, etc.
2) The act of negotiation will tell you something about the
company. If they won't negotiate or pull various tricks on you that
tells something right there.
Name: The Other Cheek
Email: Date: Tue Apr 24 19:35:49 2001
Comment:
Your advice is great -- unless you're working for a company that
refuses to honor some or all of the clauses in the contract (bonus,
severence, etc.) you've negotiated. Your only option then is to sue -
and you're looking at several years in court and up to $100K in legal
bills (even if you arbitrate rather than litigate). And should you win,
you have no means of enforcing the judgment. Alternatively, you end up
with a whole lotta nothing if the company declares bankruptcy. Believe
me, if someone is intent on screwing you, (s)he will - and a contract
that you cannot afford to defend (lawyers do not take these types of
cases on contingency) is as bad as no contract at all. I know from
whence I speak ...
Name: eudas
Email: Date: Tue Apr 24 18:04:04 2001
Comment: good advice, and some of it i've seen and learned already. thanks for the others...
