Unemployment Journal VII: Zen and the Art of Rejection
Posted Mon Feb 26 19:21:18 2001 by ebitch |
last thursday
dear unemployment journal,
i am sitting in the lobby of the grand hyatt hotel on 42nd street
on a marble structure near a fountain with suits all around me. my
friend has an interview here, and i was just around the corner
recording my commentary for national public radio. i am wearing lipstick and look like somebody important.
i had fun recording my commentary at national public radio's new
york bureau. the man there, chris, offered me my choice of either a
malted milk ball or swedish fish when i was leaving. i chose the
swedish fish. later, i pulled it out of my pocket and gave it to
someone i dig.
i can't believe i didn't think of this before. each day, i can
choose a new, fancy hotel lobby and hang out there. they have outlets
for my computer, but no telephone, t-1 lines, or lattes.
drab nomenclature
have you noticed a new trend in which dot-coms name themselves as
if they were economy cars made by dodge or ford? i once worked for a
company called "actbig" that was trying to compete with mercada,
accompany, and other group-purchase plays but it was so complicated
that no matter what was tried, nobody could convey what the site
offered or how one might go about obtaining whatever the _fuck_ it was
that was offered. i have learned they changed their name to etrana.
not only was that positively the most _suck-ass_ job i've ever had
in my entire life, but doesn't it sound like a low-end economy car? and
what the fuck are they selling? can someone please tell me?
here's another: corante.
i am good at making up names that sound like low-end economy cars.
silata
jarumba
shivada
om
namah
shivaya
if you send me five dollars via pay pal, i will generate some names for you. i can even blend in musical sounds and various ethnicities.
fundamentalist dream
my friend had a dream in which i was contacted by a fundamentalist christian web site called ibelieve.com.
they had fifty (50) million in funding and wanted me as their
spokesperson. it was hard to be their spokesperson, because it was no
longer a site about something, but about me, and i was charged with
speaking about this about-me site.
in a way, this resembles consciousness itself. speaking of which, i finally finished robert pirsig's zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. i started it in 1997, early in my dot-com career. three apartments, two zip codes, and four jobs later, i finished.
last tuesday
i began the day with some fame, my npr debut
was glorious albeit imperfect because my last name was incorrectly
noted and i did not have enough notice to send out a proper press
release.
i have received several lunch and dinner invitations. i hope
everybody understands that as i am unemployed, the meal is on them.
got email from some recruiter, one with zero humor and interpersonal skill.
note to self: i think i am less interested in being a recruiter. i was thinking i might like to do that, but now i don't know.
so this recruiter is sending my resume to a company that does
something with accountants, not all that interesting but they did not
balk at my salary requirements and the job could be...a challenge.
then, i received a mild-mannered rejection email from a company i interviewed with last week. just as well:
(1) one of the women i met with was a little too young and perky and i knew in my heart she would be on my nerves.
(2) one of the guys who interviewed me was drunk.
(3) i'm not turned on by the presence of wind chimes which announce a deal has been done.
(4) when you close a deal, you are required to buy beer for
everyone. i don't drink, and i am not interested in such frat-like
shenanigans. is that supposed to be enticing or cool?
(5) location: a gloomy street between seventh and eight avenues with a couple of skanky-ass delis, not a starbucks for blocks, and no damn coffee machine in the office itself.
(6) i wasn't into being there at nine a.m. what's _that_ about?
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Fri Mar 2 09:08:02 2001
Comment: For that position--is that a MS certification, or do they primarily hire UNIX?
|
Name: Paul
Email: winopaul@yahoo.com
Date: Fri Mar 2 03:54:16 2001
Comment:
So today the founder of the company gives me the great news that I am
actually geting a paycheck today. Then he points out that there is no
more money to pay me so "we" will have to work out some work for stock
deal. Only my landlord will not take a promise of non existant stock in
a pre-ipo internet startup for rent. Now Steve, am I to understand
there is a position available as a toothy tampon remover/installer? I'm
wondering--does it pay in cash or those damn stock options and is there
a relocation package from Silicon Valley to Silicon Alley? Tampon
installations. That's just the kind of low-tech job I need after this
last year in the Tom Swift wonder brigade.
Perhaaps the year of the snake will be the year of lowered
expectations. I hope not. I heartily agree that to take a job in
desperation is only to play with a time bomb. It will blow you apart
sooner or later. Better to sit in hotel rooms and drink lattes. Far
more relaxing and you meet a better class of people. Tell ebitch to
hang at the Ritz-Carlton and write up her experiences. |
Name: IJUMPEDMYBIKEOVER "SARCHASM"
Email: magicalkittenfrenzy@netlaves.com
Date: Fri Mar 2 02:56:34 2001
Comment: bob, what we are dealing with is is a laugh-chasm.
You know--the gaping void between the person who made the joke and the audience who doesn't think it's funny.
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Fri Mar 2 02:02:20 2001
Comment: Lala, what we are dealing with is is a sarchasm
You know--the gaping void between someone making a joke and the shmuck who just doesn't get it.
|
Name: Lala
Email:
Date: Fri Mar 2 01:26:45 2001
Comment:
And, um, don't you guys have any grasp of irony? Doesn't it occur
to you that much of what ebitch writes is self-ironic? Do you really
think she seriously cares that there isn't a Starbucks for blocks? I've
known ebitch online for awhile, and she cared about the jobs she had.
They meant something to her, and she felt they were worthwhile
endeavors. FWIW, the "thing" that ebitch and I both specialize in isn't
exactly the most highly paid niche in the e-biz world - if she was in
it for the money and the perks and the materialism, she sure as hell
chose poorly. But she wasn't. So lighten up, and try to develop a sense
of humor. |
Name: Deborah
Email: decibel@techie.com
Date: Thu Mar 1 23:07:26 2001
Comment:
Um, guys... she didn't turn the job down. She's listing the reasons
she's glad they turned her down. What should she do, dissolve in a
puddle? Jeez, a little sour grapes won't hurt anyone. |
Name: Wally
Email: wloude@mailexcite.com
Date: Thu Mar 1 18:01:59 2001
Comment: sbdwestpac: Nothing like working in one of those "built in 1940 to last five years" wooden chicken coops is there??
|
Name: sbdwestpac
Email: sbdwestpac@aol.com
Date: Thu Mar 1 16:43:27 2001
Comment:
Thank you Wally for an intelligent and non-offensive post on this
thread. ebitch: get over it. There are no perfect jobs out there. No
Starbucks for blocks? Tough shit. I work in a building stuck on the far
end of an Army base that is between the airfield and a live fire
missile range. I have taken jobs that sucked, including as a security
guard because I have a family to support. I'm pushing forty now and
know that you will never find a perfect job. But any job is better than
unemployment. Every time I read one of your postings all I can see is a
staggering load of self-pity. I worked at a factory making minimum wage
when I got out of the Navy because nobody was hiring. But I worked my
way up into IS positions until I obtained the position I have now,
managing a server farm for a DOD agency. You only get to start out on
top if you were on top already. |
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Thu Mar 1 13:50:02 2001
Comment: Wally, you rule, plain and simple.
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Thu Mar 1 11:04:55 2001
Comment: though my typing is pretty grim... :)
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Thu Mar 1 11:01:10 2001
Comment: Turns out the seventies weren't so much better after all, Wally. Check out the lead story/book review over at Salon.com.
Seems like we've got a right to be a bit on the cranky side as a
generation as do the boomers and Gens Y and potnetially Z, though I
must admit personally things aren't so grim. |
Name: Wally
Email: wloude@mailexcite.com
Date: Thu Mar 1 08:50:05 2001
Comment:
Being of the Vietnam generation (and a two-time participant on
southeast asian scenic tours), I can say that I have been verbally
abused, but never spat upon. I think the reference was to the Vietnam
generation being type cast as hippies and "spitters upon soldiers"
while the current generation is being typecast as materialistic whiners
because of "voices" such as ebitch. I agree, I would nver want to work
in an office which didnt have coffee, even though in my case it was
usually one of the last few cups out of a 30-cup percolator that had
been baking for a few hours or so. Why go to a skanky deli when each
modern glass-surfaced office building has a "choke and puke" snack bar
on the first floor with hamburger prices double that of BK or McD?
Talking about unemployment and job hunting, you should have tried the
Nixon-Ford-Carter years of the seventies after the aerospace
engineering meltdown. Degreed engineers with 10 years of experience
were offered 12K per year. In 1978, as a 39 year old MS degreed
engineer, I took a government engineering job for 22K and considered
myself lucky to have it. I guess to this 62 year old (actually a bit
older than the baby boomers (come from the "empty years" of the 30s),
the amazing thing about the current crop is their unending capacity for
self-pity and whining. |
Name: Lala
Email:
Date: Thu Mar 1 02:55:33 2001
Comment:
What would John Perry Barlow be doing here? Shouldn't he be over on the
Well hanging out in one of the many Grateful Dead conferences with the
other hippies? |
Name: samezone19
Email:
Date: Thu Mar 1 00:16:31 2001
Comment:
I've researched MagicalKittenwhatever and I can say that his IP logs do
not match those of John Perry Barlow. So let's put that silly rumor to
rest and get on with our overly constrained logs - I mean, lives. |
Name: e-ass
Email: gimme@abreak.com
Date: Thu Mar 1 00:11:05 2001
Comment: Great!
Make sure you are talking out loud about how great you are so that
we know that it is you. It would be a shame to pass by you and not
insult you in person.
How matronly.
|
Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@netslaves.com
Date: Wed Feb 28 22:23:33 2001
Comment:
hylton and gary, corante does rock. i wrote hylton privately and
apologize profusely for not including a paragraph or two about how i
dig what corante is doing.
everybody else, it's a small world. i look forward to meeting each
of you in person so you can see how far off your harsh, personal
judgments about me are.
good night all.
e
|
Name: gary
Email: gary@corante.com
Date: Wed Feb 28 17:07:16 2001
Comment: For the record, Corante rocks!
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 16:05:16 2001
Comment:
Okay, "an." I tend to worry more about message context than perfect
grammatical usage, working abou the grammer only when communication
gets mangled. mea culpa
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 16:00:52 2001
Comment:
Okay, "an." I tend to worry more about message context than perfect
grammatical usage, working abou the grammer only when communication
gets mangled. mea culpa
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 15:48:50 2001
Comment: "A" English, eh? i bet u were
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Wed Feb 28 13:48:40 2001
Comment: I was a English Composition instructor in a past life, at a major Southeastern university, and agree with nameless.
Your syntax is horrific. Next Question?
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 13:47:45 2001
Comment: I speak standard American English sir.
|
Name: panteewadder
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 13:22:29 2001
Comment: r u a professor of english, or do you get off on pointing out glaring errors?
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 12:51:52 2001
Comment: with syntax like that. . .
|
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 12:29:06 2001
Comment:
i can forgive ebitch for being a bitch it's intrinsic in her
personality. she's a shoddy, self-loathing megalomaniac with an
ultrahuge self-esteem issue. self-indulgent whiner.
what i cannot tolerate is her use of the term "mahatma" being
sacrileged. the perversion of her philosophy is indicitive of the split
personality she must be dealing with, albeit of which she is most
probably unaware.
i ask you, ebitch either be a bitch, be proud of it and continue
your descecration of the holy, or renounce your profligate and
libertinism ways
cry and moan all you want to, just do yourself and others the small courtesy of being thatmuchless inconsiderate and repulsive
|
Name: LOL
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 12:26:20 2001
Comment: Very funny....nuff said
|
Name: Hylton Jolliffe
Email: hylton@corante.com
Date: Wed Feb 28 11:25:45 2001
Comment:
Hi. Publisher of Corante here. Your right of course if you don't like
our name. But just want to make sure you're getting the pronunciation
right - it's k?r-?nt or core-aunt.
Thanks, Hylton
|
Name: beammeup
Email: no@intelligentlife.net
Date: Wed Feb 28 10:08:18 2001
Comment: I thought that was auto conferred by my sophist legislative fiat engine. . .
gentlemen. . . segment your markets.
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Wed Feb 28 09:39:36 2001
Comment: Can I get _exclusive_ rights for the crash and burn? At least that way, I can get a book deal out of it...
|
Name: beammeup
Email: no@intelligentlife.net
Date: Wed Feb 28 08:56:11 2001
Comment:
Oh pale bob. . . I've just decided that I'm blaming you for the entire
dot.com thing, yes, all of it. . . My reasoning, in mixed tongues,
(culpa, ergo you) . . . I blame, therefore you are. Neo cartesian
irrationalism, I trust you'll find the malleability of the internal
consistency provides a piquant note of accompaniment to any standard
off the shelf philosophy. . .
|
Name: beammeup
Email: no@intelligentlife.net
Date: Wed Feb 28 08:17:01 2001
Comment:
Hey magical gilliard, that's why people post anaon eh? Censorship
cometh in all forms and not the least from the sages promoting wisdom? |
Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Feb 28 02:46:07 2001
Comment:
There is a lot of people here who need to lighten up. Call me naive but
I thought that the internet is supposed to be about open and honest
communication, regardless of whether or not you agree. So what that
magicalkittenfrenzy does not provide contact information? You can post
replies here as you have been doing. What did you want to do anyways?
Round up some of your friends in your old Chevy pickup, pick up a
length of rope and visit him/her in the middle of the night(thems got
aylott ov trees up der in Wisconsin). People are getting wrapped up in
trivial details.(except for Emily, she's been fairly objective).
As far as his comments go on ebitch, some are valid. The point of
the matter is that I still read them despite the fact I don't expect to
see her ever win the Pulitzer. I read them because they're light and
easily digestible(kind of like Arrowroot cookies, mmmmm). When I have
five minutes to kill I'm not looking for Dostoevsky (far too many
characters to keep track of, I'm from the generation that was raised on
TV you know). Point being are ebitches postings earthshattering? No.
Are they enlightening and meaningful? No again. Will they find their
place among Hemingway? Definately not. Are they self indulgent? You bet
your pretty white cornfed ass they are! Are they a good way to piss
away a few minutes of my day? Hell yes! And so I will continue to read
them as I am sure others (including Kitten) will. If people didn't
enjoy reading crap to escape drudgery Stephen King would be working at
Home Depot.
Keep it coming ebitch, if you ever get a job and have to stop writing, I know that I for one will be disappointed.
|
Name: magical gilliard
Email: mgilliard@hoodforwhiteguys.com
Date: Wed Feb 28 01:49:44 2001
Comment:
yo yo yo, magical kitten frenzy, you off the heazy with your comments,
you so wack this obeeze DJ don't even know where to start 'cept BRING
IT FOO! That's rizzight, me and my neyah ebeyotch be rollin' through ya
sheezy blowin' up 15s, glockin' and stalkin'.
Where your e-mail add-double-drizess? Give me your broke-ass web
site URL so I can look up your personal contact information on Network
Muthafuckin' Solutions.
Fag.
|
Name: Wank Seance
Email: WankSeance@aol.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 21:02:18 2001
Comment: Hey, what's a subscription cost to NetSlaves on here? Niente? Dat's what I taught, puty cat.
Ebitch is out of work, has plenty of time to resolve the gaps in
the Grand Unifed Theory, and writing helps her deal with it. She is one
voice in this juiced info "New Economy." She has angst, desires,
doubts, passions, etc., just like the rest of us out here in this
whacky world trying to avoid suffering and to find our own bit of
happiness (according to Buddhist thought).
Ebitch, take your time. Things will get better. You will get back
into things when you are ready. We live in a great world and a great
time, albeit one that is rarely fair and never constant. Best wishes
and keep on writing.
Your friend stuck precariously in the Figure-4 reverse lotus position,
Wank Seance ("So that's THE brass eye! Ah ha!")
|
Name: Mallory
Email: mallory AT farpeak DOT org
Date: Tue Feb 27 19:34:36 2001
Comment: ebitch would garner much more respect from me if her diary:
a) used capital letters.
b) contained phrases like 'Halved latte consumption, staked out
cafe at Borders while culling XML manuals from the herd, spent savings
on the survivors in hope of getting new job. Blackmailed sometimes
boyfriend into giving account on his second best linux box in order to
practice new skills. Standing offer is a blow job for every job
interview gotten by dint of new skills, and the full monte for any job
offer where net income is more than double my rent.'
|
Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 17:03:31 2001
Comment: Kitty,
As they say in the hood, you're a gutless bitch. If you had balls,
you'd say what you thought with a name and an e-mail address. But
you're hiding, so we know you can only snipe at other people like a
coward.
When I say what I say, anyone can find me. Have been able to for years. Even on fucked company.
And don't you have some tampons to remove with your teeth.
|
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 16:52:05 2001
Comment: Bob, Bob with the Internet Job,
I am disassociating myself from her attitude and the attitude of
"people like her" as I said, by attacking her views and opinions. I'm
not defending anyone but myself, and even then I am doing that by
opening up myself to ridicule from you and your forum zealots. I'm no
fucking martyr or "upholder of truth", but by provoking your ire I just
further prove that I'm not like you. As for the generation part, I am
sure their are condescending fuckfaces in every generation, mine just
managed to breed in a lot more holier-than-thou-because-of-my-SUV on
the base pairs.
|
Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 15:33:50 2001
Comment: hello, wank. bring on the kundalini. do you practice yoga? thanks in advance.
|
Name: Wank Seance
Email: WankSeance@aol.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 14:51:50 2001
Comment: Some group kundalini yoga is in order here.
I'll set up the Twister and bring the CheezWiz. Your thanks are welcomed in advance.
WS
|
Name: beam. . .
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 14:32:37 2001
Comment: So, e-bitch, fleuvog or Mizrahi?
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 13:57:58 2001
Comment:
ebitch, did you know you have the power to blacklist an entire
generation? WOW! You must be more powerful than we ever dreamed. Must
be all the Starbucks caffeine. :)
kitten, I sincerely doubt many outside of the Web professions
frequent this site, and what makes you so certain we are all of the
same generation?
We've got a pretty wide mix of people here, from programmers who
have been doing their thing for 22 years, to kids who haven't been
around that long, and everyone in between.
I for one, feel that I can speak well enough for myself, and find
your attempt to protect us from ourselves every bit as shallow,
self-serving, and elitist as you find ebitch's column.
Hows that for irony?
|
Name: me
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 13:40:41 2001
Comment: yo
|
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 12:12:31 2001
Comment: barlow? Is that your ex-boyfriend or something?
|
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 12:03:39 2001
Comment:
I was alluding to letting your actions and behavior blacklist an entire
generation. I wasn't saying ms. bitch was literally spitting on Vietnam
Vets. She's just giving people a reason to dislike our generation all
the more. |
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 12:01:01 2001
Comment:
And could you please explain the "spitting on Vietnam vets" bit? Maybe
I'm just dense, but I find it a bit of a stretch to link an online
journal entry about the life of someone looking for a job to
disrespecting people who served in your country's armed forces. |
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:59:51 2001
Comment:
wow, I even got my fake name wrong, and oh, that wasn't me tell you
your column sucks, that was one of my loving fans. Or pale bob getting
MagicalKittenFrenzy fetish kicks. |
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:57:34 2001
Comment:
I would not censor kitten, no. Everyone is entitled to make a complete
ass of themselves. Isn't that (more or less) what the First Amendment
provides?
I just recognize a troll when I see one, and contrary to what Emily
may believe, I don't think kitten has any balls. He's not standing up
in public. He's screaming from the anonymous crowd.
What kind of courage does that take? None.
|
Name: MagicalFrenzyKitten
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:56:59 2001
Comment:
Notice I never attacked Steve Gilliard's writings because they are
funny, even though Steve Gilliard is an overdefensive cock. And if he
wants to attack my imaginary failed career as a writer, I must really
suck if I'm not up to netslave par because I have seen 16 year old e/n
webmasters with better pieces than these journal entries. They may not
use bigger words, but they are far less self-indulgent and self-pitying
and much funnier. If my posts contain any personal attacks on ebitch
it's because her column is all about her, it's not like I can attack
her sense of ethics or writing style or even humor, since she has none
of the above.
Why am I doing this? On top of being a "horribly failed miserable
writer who just wants to write for netslaves" I work in the internet
industry professionally. It is people like her these days who are going
to give our generation the "spitting on the vietnam vets" image that
previous revolutionary generations have had to deal with. Shallow lives
and big demands, a misguided feeling of higher purpose, intense
materialism and elitist behavior. I can't wait to see the president our
generation spawns.
I am going to go sit in hotel lobbies now looking like someone
important and thinking about my engraving machine that my boyfriend (He
looks sooooo much like Aaron Carter) took when he left me for someone
who wasn't letting the burritos go to her hips.
|
Name: Emily Dresner-Thornber
Email: emily@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:44:08 2001
Comment: Thank you, sir. Appreciate the comment.
|
Name: Emily Dresner-Thornber
Email: emily@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:43:23 2001
Comment: It takes three things to stand up in public and make an ass of yourself on a regular basis.
1. An ego the size of Neptune.
2. Balls the size of Neptune.
3. A realization that you can't satisfy all the people all of the time.
I have very strong doubts that Kitten has any personal
insecurities, in fact. Why would he? I mean, heck, he came here and
posted a fine flame, knowing full well the fanboi brigade would be
bringing buckets. Hell, that takes either guts or a lack of complete
self-preservation. I have to admire the boy, he has 2 in spades.
This is the chance you take when you publish to a general audience,
faceless audience. Welcome to the net, folks. Here's your beanie. |
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:42:49 2001
Comment: Emily, your "column" sucks too.
|
Name: beam. . .
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:39:53 2001
Comment:
and e-bitch why ought I to keep reading, perhaps I should hope you'll
tell me whether you'll tell me if you're a Manolo Blahnik or a Stuart
Weitzmann woman? |
Name: beam. . .
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:37:02 2001
Comment: so. . . bob. . . would you CENSOR kitten? come on, the truth now. . .
|
Name: Dave
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:19:43 2001
Comment:
Living and working in NYC is an acquired taste. I did it for eight
years, and I realized that in all that time I still hadn't acquired it.
So, I've been in an "icy hellhole" as Steve calls it, for just
about 17 years. Not Wisconsin, but in the "New Yorker's view of the
world," only about a centimeter away on the psychic map. When I go back
to visit friends in NYC, I remember what I liked about it, and
especially why I left.
|
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 11:15:38 2001
Comment:
Naive, I've got a sense of humor. The reason kitten is getting a crappy
reception is that he/she/it didn't start out trying to write satire,
but started out with personal attacks against ebitch and her writing.
It takes a lot of guts to publish something with your name and
contact info on it. I've been there. It is scary, precisely because of
sniping little cowards such as kitten. You have people like these who
have done very little successfully in their own lives, who have become
very jealous of other people encountering some success.
I won't begin to theorize why kitten had to focus on this one
column on this one Web site since htere are hundreds of thousands to
choose from, but obsession is a strange thing. ebitch obviously struck
a nerve with kitten for whatever reason, and that caused kitten to lash
out.
What kitten wrote was not satire.
Kitten first authored personal attacks, and eventually morphed into
rather bitter parody that only revealed his/her anger. I suspect kitten
still hides behind anonymity becuase of deep-seated personal
insecurities. Some individual lines were inventive, but were
stylistically different enough that I'm fairly certain they were lifted
from other writing or conversations the author may have witnessed.
This isn't so much humor, but a glimpse inside the mind of a deeply
unhappy person. I kind of feel sorry for kitten, and hope he/she gets
through this bad spell.
|
Name: Emily Dresner-Thornber
Email: emily@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 10:55:12 2001
Comment: I found the satire to be highly amusing. I laughed out loud.
One thing I have discovered in the last three years of standing up
in front of a large studio audience is that people have the right to
throw tomatoes when they're unhappy. You have the right to dodge them,
but you cannot take the tomatoes away. The tomatoes are the reader's
right inaliable right. It's the give and take of the medium. You get to
publish, they get to tell you that you suck. That's why they say,
"Never let them see you sweat." Reading the postings here this morning,
I'm seeing people sweating buckets. It's almost time to get out the
mops.
And sometimes, it's good to ask why they're throwing tomatoes.
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Name: Naive
Email: mnaive@hotmail.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 10:21:12 2001
Comment:
Sheesh... doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore? I guess you're
all too busy wallowing in self-pity. That's too bad, because
MagicalKittenFrenzy's satire of this article was actually pretty funny.
I sure as hell laughed out loud. |
Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Tue Feb 27 09:51:07 2001
Comment: Steve, you aren't mad at the REST of us no-talent writers, are ya?
:)
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Name:
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 09:40:29 2001
Comment: ahhh. . . the psycho sexual dynamic of unemployment. . .
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Name: beam. . .
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 08:46:20 2001
Comment: . . .would you like the 5 minute arguement or would you like the full half hour?
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Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 08:08:41 2001
Comment: Does this look like Slashdot or FC to you?
No? Well Kittypoo, we know you want to be a writer, and it's a goal
which eludes you. You're just super, duper jealous and wish we ran your
journal instead. I mean if I lived in Wisconsin, in some icy hellhole,
I'd be envious of someone living in New York.
Come on, if you want to write for us, just ask. We know you do. We
know you're just another frustrated writer who can't hack it, can't get
paid, can't be part of anything except some dumb assed blog, right?
We understand your pain, and your envy. We know this is the only
way you can deal with your inability to be a successful writer at any
level.
Of course, you're not fit to change ebitch's tampons with your teeth, but that's another story.
If you keep working, maybe one day, you might make it into middle
management and actually do something with your life. You might even get
punished in the local pennysaver.
But we understand, we really do. We know what a burden it is to be
without talent. What a sad, sad thing that must be. Please do share.
Thanks.
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Name: Carl Guderian
Email: carlg@vermilion-sands.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 07:22:43 2001
Comment: Uh, Mr. Frenzy. If you don't have a sense of humor, you shouldn't try to be funny.
Ebitch, I dunno about the objection to getting in a 9am, but that
potential job obviously redlined your BS detector, and rightly so.
Those antics are a sign of much deeper corporate cheerleading culture.
Back in the day, I saw an ad for a job selling solar heating
installations, on the phone. When I got there I learned it was
door-to-door (!), we only set up appointments, in hopes of avoiding
neighborhood anti-soliciting laws (!!), and the pay was commission-only
(!!!).
I walked. If I'd taken the job, I'd've had to go to a bus station
and give away free blowjobs to regain my self-respect. As it turned
out, I worked in a record shop near NASA, my first target, and pestered
customers who were aerospace workers (when they wrote checks I scanned
the telephone exchange number) for contacts inside. After 6 months I
was in!
It's not easy to take the first job that comes along. You spend all
your time trying to make it through your probationary period and don't
have much time to look for a better job. If you and the interviewer
haven't already figured out already that you're not Ramjac Inc.
material, you won't last long anyway and you'll have to explain a 2- or
3-month job (or gap) on your resume. That's opportunity cost for you.
If the wolf is any distance from your door, it's better to hold out for
better job. |
Name: Got Zen?
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 01:50:22 2001
Comment: Glad to hear that you finished Zen. Now you got another fourty years to read Lila : an Inquiry into Moral .
(Hey, it only took the guy 25 years in between to write it! And more sex!)
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Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 01:39:07 2001
Comment:
'asides sassy, I've probably made more people here laugh then you trite
shit ever did. Well maybe the first 4 installments I didn't read were
pure gold and I just picked up the arrogant non-joke ones that made me
want to roll down a cliff. |
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 01:37:37 2001
Comment: I have no point. I just enjoy the hate part. Any steps nearby I can push you down missy?
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Name: mahatma bitch
Email: ebitch@netslaves.com
Date: Tue Feb 27 01:19:18 2001
Comment:
i would prefer to inspire positive feelings, but all this rage is kind
of interesting. you hate it but you can't stop reading. you can't stop
coming back and thinking of clever ways to make your point, whatever
that is. |
Name: DisguisedMagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 00:44:48 2001
Comment: I mean a crime juicer sir.
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Name: ego says hello
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 00:28:07 2001
Comment: do you mean a crime juicer or a lime juicer?
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Name: DisguisedMagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Tue Feb 27 00:09:19 2001
Comment: Hey Kitten:
wow you are a dick, I have to blindly defend ebitch because
netslaves publishes her and she is on NPR! How many people do you know
that have their voice broadcast on NPR MagicalKittenFrenzy? I bet you
don't even own a crime juicer, and if you did I bet you don't run a web
site. Because you have no testicles because you aren't publishing your
mom's home phone number so I can call her at 4AM. You are a coward and
a cheat and don't know what you're talking about.
ebitch rulez, MagicalKittenFrenzy droolz!
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Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:58:39 2001
Comment: OK, Kitten:
From now on, we're going to ignore your posts. Have fun talking to yourself.
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Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email: letsgetthewholeteam@netslaves.cominvolvedinsolvingthecase
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:54:20 2001
Comment:
I love what's happening over there, thank you for giving me a forum in
which I can publish my journal...one entry at a time...corresponding
shockingly with each release by the cleverly named ebitch.
But you don't have to read my journal entries if you don't want to.
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Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:49:59 2001
Comment: Kitten,
If you don't like what's happening over here, what's the sense in sticking around?
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Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:40:10 2001
Comment:
oh and I do it everyday, only it isn't gay self-indulgent journal
funcakes, it's satire. And no, I'm not giving you my URL so that you
guys can pretend to be me and troll my forums. |
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email: yourmom@isgoodinbed.com
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:34:20 2001
Comment: Fantastic, here is my home address and phone number so you silly shits can tell me how good my journal is:
Monty Alestair
345 Oak Terrace
Newark, WI 33452
or call me:
(425)877-2011, I love to chat about my forum posts commenting on journal entries.
fag.
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Name: steve gilliard
Email: sgilliard@netslaves.com
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:33:34 2001
Comment: Kitty,
If it was so easy, you'd be doing it. The trick is doing it
consistantly. You want to read about real egotists, look at my story on
Welivein public. |
Name: monty
Email: montyphan@hotmail.com
Date: Mon Feb 26 23:27:01 2001
Comment: magicalkitten,
the difference is that ebitch at least includes an email address
(it's even valid). the link to her npr commentary includes her being
referred to by name, although the host mispronounced it. she is,
therefore, identifiable. you, by choosing to take advantage of the
wonderful anonymity provided by the internet, are not. taking
responsibility for one's words is a sign of maturity, not to mention
credibility. or, to use a phrase from one of your prior posts, "aren't
you an adult?"
and if you're suggesting that we no longer read your posts, i think that's a fine idea.
|
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Mon Feb 26 22:46:40 2001
Comment: what are you talking about? That is my journal, if you don't like it don't read it.
Sigh, god I'm the greatest!
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Name: bob
Email: pale_13@usa.net
Date: Mon Feb 26 22:35:44 2001
Comment: Having a problem with the concept of _Journal_ kids? If ya don't like it, don't read it.
Sheesh...
|
Name: rob
Email:
Date: Mon Feb 26 21:50:25 2001
Comment: MagicalKitten summed it up for me. What a load of self-important BS.
|
Name: MagicalKittenFrenzy
Email:
Date: Mon Feb 26 20:22:31 2001
Comment: Dear Egotism Stimulator,
I am sitting in the lobby of Les Ritz Hotel where my friend is
having an interview, I was nearby recording my stellar NPR commentary,
you know the one where they use all the background sound to make it
seem like I am in the real world instead of some imaginary urban
playland for the pretentious wealthy.
I noticed something about the internet now that I don't have a
high-paying web marketing job where I use words like paradigm and
datapulse that I read in my L. Ron Hubbard books. The internet always
has these domain names that sound like cheap foreign cars like:
toyota
honda
ford
plymouth
daimler-chrysler
If you send me money so that I can be sterilized on paypal I will
even come up with some more and use racist terms I learned from my
father, who belonged to a secret society like the Free Masons, only not
the Free Masons, they are so passe.
I read a book, I started it three years ago, it somehow relates to
my "article" but I am incapable of making literary connections.
It was by Harry Potter.
DID I MENTION NPR? I WAS ON NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO, PROBABLY ALL
THINGS CONSIDERED. I WAS ALSO ON NPR. I LIKE NPR, I WAS ON IT. MY VOICE
IS BEING HEARD BY NEARLY A HUNDRED COMMUTERS IN AM CHRISTIAN RADIO
BLACKOUT ZONES.
Take me to lunch or dinner, because I will suck parts of your body
for food. I may be rich and jobless, but that doesn't mean I won't put
out for dinner at Dorsea.
note to self: I love you, congratulations on being you, you rule.
I received a hot-and-saucy rejection email from a company i
interviewed with (I am so self-effacing, look, lower case "i", I am
hip) last week. just as well:
(1)one of the women I met did not lay a path of rose petals before
my feet (2)one of the guys who interviewed me was not amused by my
elitist comments (3)when you close a deal, you are required to buy beer
for everyone. i don't drink, and i am not interested in such human
activities. is that supposed to beat sipping 500 dollar cognac from the
hollowed skull of an indonesian Nike child-laborer?
(5)location: a gloomy street with a couple of skanky-ass delis run by filthy jews and not a stabucks for blocks.
(6)i wasn't interested in being there at nine a.m. because I am
still having my skin re-laminated by my Turkish handmaiden at that
hour.
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