Unemployment Journal III: The Sims (EBitch's Continuing Series on Being an Unemployed Tech Worker)
Posted Mon Jan 29 13:06:32 2001 by ebitch |
by ebitch
saturday, 1/20/01
i woke up at four o'clock a.m. and played the sims. one of my families is the applegate family. it has a black father, a clean-cut man with small glasses, who has four white daughters. the bedroom the daughters share is too small to fit four sims-sized beds so one of the daughters has to sleep outside in the backyard. she doesn't mind.
they argue a lot, about who's using the bathroom, since there is only one bathroom. frequently the shower leaks. if i don't tell them to, nobody cleans it up. it's a real mess in there.
i'm not used to manipulating more than one sim at a time, so driving four is overwhelming. i can't keep up. the kids miss their school bus every day, and the dad doesn't wake up in time for work. thus, their sims bank account is dwindling. last time i checked they had only seventy-one (71) dollars.
the sims don't sit for meals because i sold most of their kitchen chairs. also, since i don't get involved in their affairs much, they don't cook meals so instead they have snacks. potato chips. so they are usually very low on the hunger scales because (a) their cooking equipment is low-quality and (b) snacks provide fewer hunger satisfaction points than a full-on meal. they are also very tired, because i let them stay up all night.
i bought them a radio because they were not having any fun. there is hardly a stick of furniture in their house, no television, nothing. so the radio is on the kitchen table because you can't just put it on the floor in the world of the sims. they frequently put the radio on and then start dancing next to it.
one day when two of the three girls missed the school bus, they stayed home all day in their pajamas eating potato chips and making puddles (from not peeing when they needed to) and leaving trash all over the place, thereby attracting sim-flys. when the father got home from work (this was the last time i remember him going to work), he came home to find flys, trash, puddles, a strange man in the house, and the girls fighting with each other for the shower. the father went over to the radio and started getting down! i'm not talking about gentle sway or butt-shake, but some serious power-moves, get-down-on-it voodoo funk.
sometimes i think it's sick how i allow this family to live. if the sims' town had a department of social services, the father would be taken away, his children raffled off, and the house sold. it would be all over the news. it's a sick puppet show, really.
don't start psychoanalyzing this, please. i had my reasons for constructing such a cruel cyber-reality. you see, if you move other sim-families into the neighborhood, there is a larger population of sims to call and visit. likewise, those other sims will drop over your house. this is good for the fun and social meters of my other sim.
the truth is, my _main_ sim is a guy called harry crack i moved the applegates in so harry would have some new friends to hang out with.
crack works for the military and brings home two-hundred and fifty dollars a day. he has two lovely, black chairs, the kind you see in the pottery barn catalog. he has a four-hundred and fifty (450) dollar gaggia espresso machine and a twelve-hundred (1200)dollar toilet. i had to buy him that because he would not relieve himself in the toilet that came with his house.
harry crack wants a girlfriend. he enjoys horror movies. he reads books about cooking, and has so far purchased four new ovens because each one caught on fire and burnt down to a sad pile of ashes.
harry cannot handle a lot of stress. each time a fire broke out in his kitchen he stood there, freaking the feck out. i mean he would not extinguish it even though i commanded him thusly four or five times. he would not go to the phone to call the fire department. later, i learned that if you invest fifty bucks on a smoke detector, it automatically contacts the fire department in the event of a fire. it was well worth it in harry's case.
moral implications
this reminds me of the ethical questions posed by growing humans for certain medical uses. if we figure out how to grow humans to use for blood, tissue, organs and so on, is this morally permissible? is it still a human with the same rights as a human not raised to be a cell bank? in the very same way, i have created a sim family so that mr. harry crack-sim can have more fun.
the sex problem
i want to see the sims have sex. currently, when a sim pees or takes a shower, he undresses but his body is obscured in the same way a person's face is visually scrambled on tv. with the sims' 'livin' large' upgrade, you can see more, but i don't have that yet. it's another thirty (30) dollars, and i can't bring myself to buy it. i'm saving for my upcoming beauty day, which will cost more money than god has.
i am doing this because i believe one has to continue to look professional and well put-together in order to feel confident and succeed. i always feel fierce after getting my hair done. i will also have my eyebrows hand-shaped. my hair guru and i will catch up on our love lives, exercise regimens (she is into pilates), therapy progress (last time we were completely in the same place...the dark night of the soul...but on the phone with her sister while making an appointment i learned she had passed over, to the other side) and other deep things.
so, i don't have livin' large yet, but i'm about to add it to my 'things i need' list, a sort of 'me-commerce (bill lessard's term),' because i'm a girl who believes in putting her needs and wants out there.
only four more days until therapy.
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Name: blu
Email: blu@z.com
Date: Sun Feb 4 18:21:05 2001
Comment: well it isnt showing up the way i typed it ...
SO....
the exclamation points should be separated by semicolons, with an extra semicolon or anything else on the end to cause the "no such cheat"
oooppps!
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Name: blu
Email: blu@z.com
Date: Sun Feb 4 18:19:05 2001
Comment: WARNING ,!
once you know this cheat, your sims will be loaded and unemployed!!! (and your addiction may be a bit lower)
use the CTRL/SHFT/C combo to bring up the cheat code box, then type "rosebud" in there....
you should get 1000 for that if done correctly.
next repeat the CTRL/SHFT/C combo and type in
!!!!!!!
Which essentially repeats the last code you entered 7 times (with a purposeful mistake on the end)
NOW, if done correctly,
The dialog box "no such cheat" will appear, but notice you still have 7000 free simoleons, and the cheat code box is still there, so if you move the pointer over to the dialog box and hold down ENTER, you will continue to increase your in 7000 increments until you are FILTHY RICH!!!!
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Name: blu
Email: blu@z.com
Date: Sun Feb 4 18:18:14 2001
Comment: WARNING ,!
once you know this cheat, your sims will be loaded and unemployed!!! (and your addiction may be a bit lower)
use the CTRL/SHFT/C combo to bring up the cheat code box, then type "rosebud" in there....
you should get 1000 for that if done correctly.
next repeat the CTRL/SHFT/C combo and type in
!!!!!!!
Which essentially repeats the last code you entered 7 times (with a purposeful mistake on the end)
NOW, if done correctly,
The dialog box "no such cheat" will appear, but notice you still have 7000 free simoleons, and the cheat code box is still there, so if you move the pointer over to the dialog box and hold down ENTER, you will continue to increase your in 7000 increments until you are FILTHY RICH!!!!
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Fri Feb 2 19:57:24 2001
Comment:
is somebody going to cough up the cheat please? i need some dough to buy some stuff and continue with renovations.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Fri Feb 2 08:23:41 2001
Comment: e - send me an email and we'll try to hook up.
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Name: braindead
Email: sellyoursoul@thedevil.tv
Date: Fri Feb 2 09:08:58 2001
Comment: Thank you, ebitch. It is fun to talk about the little sim family that I am god over.
Actually, I realized that I had my families confused. Brandon was originally part of the Rosebud family. Lauriel and Lilith were his roommates, with whom he was attempting to have intimate affairs. It was indeed Jessica who created the love potion which brought Brandon into the McMilliam family, and it was Sandra McMilliam who abhorred Brandon for so long. Now, Brandon is the big pimp on the block, having gained the love of 5 of the 7 women in the neighborhood. (I only have 5 families placed right now. This weekend I intend to have a complete trailor park up and living.) This whole neighborhood is turning out to be one big bizarre love triangle.
Lauriel and Lilith enjoyed their time in the heart bed. Then after Lilith went to work, Lauriel and Sandra enjoyed their time in the heart bed.
Ironically (and I didn't know this at the time of creation), ROSEBUD is the cheat to get 1000 simoleans in the patched version of the game. KLAPAUCIUS will work too.
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Thu Feb 1 22:08:35 2001
Comment: braindead, what a glorious vr world you have. i'm touched. i'm glad we are friends!
master, i'm working downtown tomorrow. i may have time for a quick latte.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Thu Feb 1 11:59:23 2001
Comment:
LOL! It's sooooooo true!
When you get a group of techie workers together first they gripe about their jobs and bosses, then the topic of conversation turns to sex. Happens all the time! You can set your watch by it!!! :->
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Name: braindead
Email: sellyoursoul@thedevil.tv
Date: Thu Feb 1 07:42:00 2001
Comment: My first family (Lauriel and Jessica) have had the heart-bed for a couple of (RL) days now (it was high on their needs list), and I had no idea that nookie could take place in it. I can't wait to guide them to this new discovery. Their relationship has been going down hill a bit since Brandon came into the house. ('Twas a very bizarre incident involving Jessica's accidental discovery of love potions. Later that week Brandon started playing with the chem-set and earned the family a 500 fine from the police. They were forced to sell the chem-set to cover it. It has since been replaced by a nice, safe chess set).
Brandon is a bum. For the first few weeks after moving in, he didn't bother to get a job. He just milled about the house, calling on female friends when the opportunity struck him. Lauriel couldn't stand him during that period. She was not at all impressed by his shallow compliments and uninvited ticklings. But for all his bumming around he did manage to acquire a few family friends which ultimately helped both Lauriel and Jessica's carreers. And he's a fabulous chef now, as well as an accomplished guitarist. Lauriel finally forced him to take a job. He works at the local quik-e-mart now.
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Thu Feb 1 01:40:18 2001
Comment: dear braindead, you're right about my grudge list. grudge lists are wrong. i'm throwing mine out.
blu, you rock! i want to see your sims world. can you share the cheat with me please? someone i know knows it but won't tell.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Thu Feb 1 00:09:40 2001
Comment:
Hey e - Are you related to Richard Nixon? :-)
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Name: blu
Email: blu@z.com
Date: Wed Jan 31 22:10:33 2001
Comment: Most pleasing to me is the occurance of SAME SEX MATING! In my sims world, the hetero persuasion is definately in the minority, while it is a challenge to get those "friends" to kiss at first , once you do , it works out just fine. . .PLAYING IN THE HEART BED -woohoo! and no stinkin' cryin babies to deal with (unless of course they choose to adopt em)!!!! )
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Name: blu
Email: blu@z.com
Date: Wed Jan 31 22:00:16 2001
Comment: Most of the 2 story lavishly furnished colorfully themed homes/mansions in my new 'livin large' neighborhood are occupied by colorful and wacky sims with multi colored hair and outfits! Mostly unemployed ,(since i stocked each family up with millions of simoleons using the CHEAT) they are spending all their time gaining points by playing and studying, social gatherings usually occur at the "faerie" mansion, which has 5 winged household members and is equipped with every luxury available. Tragedy has come quickly to the Yellow and Red fast food joint, an unskilled residents first attempt at cooking on the stove caused the entire kitchen to burn , and took out 3 household members and a guest with it!!!!
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Name: victoria
Email: victoria@vain.com
Date: Wed Jan 31 20:12:24 2001
Comment: XXX action.
Sex for the sims is contingent on the purchase of the bed with the heart shaped headboard. They will only "play in bed" if they are digging heavily on each other. Too bad there is not a place to purchase birth control. Last time my one girl Cherry got it on with Armando a baby shows up the next day. I didn't even get a chance to click no I don't want a baby. So I put the basinet out on the sidewalk where it belongs and social services came and got it. That crying was driving them all nuts so good riddence to bad rubbish.
I really am going to hell.
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Name: braindead
Email: sellyoursoul@thedevil.tv
Date: Wed Jan 31 16:49:50 2001
Comment: so the first victim of your grudge list will be a nameless, faceless individual that you likely have never met.
sweet.
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Wed Jan 31 15:02:06 2001
Comment: dear "then you don't read much, do you,"
this is a _journal_ in case you didn't read the title. do you know what a journal is? a journal is much different than, say, a book, a magazine article, a presentation. it is personal. it can be quirky and odd. you may read a lot, but you clearly don't write much because you forgot to sign your name.
you have inspired me to keep a grudge list, even though this is spiritually incorrect. whatever.
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Name: braindead
Email: sellyoursoul@thedevil.tv
Date: Wed Jan 31 14:29:32 2001
Comment: Of course, if I didn't play the game so fecking much, I might have more time for a social life. Then again, I have weekends. My poor sims don't.
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Name: braindead
Email: sellyoursoul@thedevil.tv
Date: Wed Jan 31 14:28:22 2001
Comment: I have the livin' large expansion. you don't really see much more (unless there is some secret option that i'm missing... i've only had the game for two days now). I'd like to see some sex in the game... But beyond that, I'd like to see some weekends. Having a social life after work every single day is tough, especially when you are trying to keep up with your studies and hygeine and most importantly, sleep.
And it was a well constructed piece. It made me laugh.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Wed Jan 31 13:29:17 2001
Comment:
Sounds like a great game. Wish I had time to play...
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Name:
Email:
Date: Wed Jan 31 10:51:44 2001
Comment: Then you don't read much, do you?
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Name: chuck
Email:
Date: Wed Jan 31 09:47:05 2001
Comment: This is the most well constructed piece I've read anywhere in a long time.
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Tue Jan 30 23:08:55 2001
Comment: mark and victoria, can you please send camera snaps? i want to send my sim to therapy.
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Name: Victoria
Email: victoria@vain.com
Date: Tue Jan 30 18:54:37 2001
Comment: Mine is a neighborhood for the young and the useless.
I built a Junior academy for wayward children, a seminary school that is a front for a numbers running operation and a coed frat house with trust fund kids who hang out in the jacuzzi all day.
The parties are fun everyone from the neighborhood wants to hang out and drink at the frat house. The cops keep coming over to break up the party. Unlike real life they just keep giving a warning and leaving. HA - no Sims jail time.
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Name: Mark
Email: mark@zombie.com
Date: Tue Jan 30 18:04:22 2001
Comment: I built a SIMS cult compound.
The "Omega Cult" has 7 mormon look alikes and a blond mullet headed leader. The compound is laid out like a military barracks - all functionality and no fun. Cots for beds, a mess hall, latrine, lights on all the time, asphalt floors, etc. The leader, "Alpha", lives in a separate lavish building, maxed out with every high end item you can but for your SIMS.
When the cult isn't "marching" back and forth on the tarmac, they're obsessively cleaning Alpha's techno-pleasure-palace.
Results so far: Alpha drinks all day and cries that he's lonely. The cult members are happy as long as they all eat and sleep at the same time.
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Name: ebitch
Email: ebitch@servemyass.com
Date: Tue Jan 30 12:19:53 2001
Comment: i'm glad everybody is going to play with the sims. perhaps we should have a sims party.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Tue Jan 30 09:46:52 2001
Comment:
Ooops. You know what I meant. Just had gotton off the phone with a friend who's a professional drum maker.
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Name: gregjor
Email:
Date: Tue Jan 30 05:13:30 2001
Comment: This was so fecking funny I almost sucked a spoonful of raisin bran up my nose. I had no idea Sims would be so much fun. I am buying the game tomorrow.
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Name: critofur
Email: critofur@hotmail.com
Date: Tue Jan 30 00:46:00 2001
Comment: I think I remember playing that littlel computer people on my Apple II, commie - it was pretty cool for the time. Ebitch, I've got what you need: the "unrated" SIMS patch. I'm sure somebody would send you a copy of Livin Large (somebody, you know who you are!). "when they pee or take a shower" - do they do both at the same time?
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Name: bill
Email: bill@netslaves.com
Date: Mon Jan 29 23:48:34 2001
Comment: "The Sims" brings out the micro-manager in all of us. :)
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Name:
Email:
Date: Mon Jan 29 23:03:23 2001
Comment: of course, there is always the nude sim patch...
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Name: Amarand Agasi
Email: amarand@amarand.org
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:57:43 2001
Comment: That was a GREAT program. You saw all of your "LCP" sideways, right?
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Name: Amarand Agasi
Email: amarand@amarand.org
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:57:11 2001
Comment: I want to meet one of those Drum Dealers. :)
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Name: Amarand Agasi
Email: amarand@amarand.org
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:53:20 2001
Comment: I want to meet one of those Drum Dealers. :)
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Name: dotcommie
Email: commie@youworkit.com
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:25:24 2001
Comment: I'm laughing really hard at this stuff. Does anyone remember "Little Computer People" (1986 or so).
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Name: Amarand Agasi
Email: amarand@amarand.org
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:23:10 2001
Comment: They were too uncontrollable...and whenever I did get around to controling them, they were either late for work, and therefore didn't get paid, or they started leaving the bathroom dirty which is really sucky. I want my Sims to do The Right Thing and KNOW what that is at all times. Damned pseudo-human things. :) I do think it's funny when they leave puddles.
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Name: MasterPo
Email:
Date: Mon Jan 29 15:19:03 2001
Comment:
Do they have drum dealer Sims? Crack head Sims? And mass murder Sims too? :-)
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Name: Steve Gilliard
Email: sgilliard@yahoo.com
Date: Mon Jan 29 14:39:57 2001
Comment: There are hacks online which will allow you to see naked sims. And you can buy the upgrade on eBay for less. That's how I bought the Sims.
I once had a Sim family where my single sim seduces her neighbor. And another who hated her career of crime. I like the Sims, even though I need to do a BIOS upgrade to use it with my new video card.
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