| You've Just Slept With the Boss (Steve Gilliard's Timeless Tips for Surviving Office Romance)
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OK, some woman just posted on Fecked Company she did the horizontal with the boss and she was feeling regret. While I didn't want to post up there and invited her to e-mail us privately, if she doesn't take us up on our offer, I still wanted to say a few things.
1)Screwing your boss is dumb.
OK, you got horny, stupid, and did something dumb. But a man with three kids and a wife and a staff to keep the respect of can't lead with his deck.
This is the kind of situation which can go from messy to ugly in about the length of time a pregnancy test works. All the contraception in the world may not work. Even vascetomies fail.
No matter how attractive an employee is, it is a gross breach of leadership to start fecking them.
Your failure is moral, but if every single woman who slept with a married man was jailed, almost every woman would be an ex-con. It happens. Just hope it never happens to you and your future husband.
It is his responsibility, both as a married man and a boss, to say no to any advance you make.
2)Your reputation is at stake
Look, jobs come and go. Especially in the dotcom world. But you have one reputation. If word gets out that you fecked the boss, you'll be called ho faster than you can imagine. Your male coworkers will see you, judge you and disrepect you in a heartbeat. No one will like you any more. The most they can work up is pity.
Your female workers will detest you and take your act personally.
Either way, you're a threat to their jobs. Because, in their eyes, if you'll feck the boss, what won't you do to get ahead on the job? You may not feel that way, but they will.
3)Pheremones work
Do you really think your coworkers haven't seen the signs of you sniffing around the boss? They can smell it. Your incipient attraction to him has been office gossip for months. Every time you're around his wife, kids or any of his personal friends, there is icy tension in the office.
People can feel these things, even if they don't know. Just by the way you look at each other and talk to each other. You're probably more intimate with him than any other staff member and you probably have violated his personal space in a way people notice. Or you're so rigid around him, it throws people off.
Either way, people can feel something between you two.
And don't be surprised if people know you fecked him. They might have smelled the sex in the room after you left, found a condom, whatever. Janitorial staff talk and if they are friendly with anyone in the office and they are, they will descibe, in detail, what you did. Janitors and secretaries know everything.
In some cases, it may even be on tape. Companies tape activity in some rooms
4)Quitting isn't the answer, at least not now
You have to wait. If you don't show up tommorow, or the next day, stitch an A across your chest because you're screwed. Take Friday off and take a long weekend. You fecked the boss, now you have to act like it never, ever happened. Don't do anything stupid like send him an
e-mail or call him.
If he wants to talk, do it at work. No lunch, no private meeting.
If you want to leave, you can do so in two ways: volunteer to be laid off, or take another offer. But if you quit now, when this guy's wife finds out, you will be nailed. No fault doesn't apply in custody cases.
A woman with three kids will hang you out to dry for sport. You're everything she used to be and while she loves her kids, his deck inside you makes her enraged with a whole host of feelings she can't deal with.
5)Be ready for this to get ugly
He's already had you. You're either the solution to his problems or a major threat to his family. Either way, bad things can happen. Be smart, protect yourself. Do not ever blackmail him. If you do, you may wind up in legal trouble.
Make sure that you keep track of your job performance reviews. If they change, you could be fecked.
If he's in love with you, that's bad. If he treats you like a whore, you're in trouble. There is no guarantee that he won't act like a 16 year old and tell everyone he's had you.
This could get very messy.
6)Don't beat yourself up
It was decent sex, but with the wrong person. Not just because he was married. But because he has a large say in your future and you have just become a threat to him. Shit happens. As long as you stay calm and tell NONE of your coworkers that you did this, you will be fine.
NONE as is no one. You do not confide in coworkers. Not about this. No matter how close you are. Because two things can happen. Your friend will be so pissed, she will start fecking with him to make him pay.
Or they will see this as a way to hurt both of you and get your job, humiliate him or just trade as office gossip.
Either way, it's none of their fecking business, darling.
Good Luck
Netslaves
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Name: bill
Email: netslaves@hotmail.com
Date: Tue Oct 3 00:31:15 2000
Comment: Andrew,
Nothing brings out the stupidity in Americans like the subject of sex. I think the whole Clinton/Monica thing proved that. And here's more proof.
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Name: andrew cooke
Email: andrew@andrewcooke.free-online.co.uk
Date: Sat Sep 30 11:02:21 2000
Comment: I'm amazed at how much of the article and the posts blame the woman. For example: just above "a man with three kids and a wife and a staff to keep the respect of can't lead with his dick" is the sub title "Screwing your boss is dumb"! Hello? Shouldn't it read "Screwing around when you are married is dumb" or "Srrewing your employees is dumb"?
I'm british - I thought americans were supposed to be a bit less bigoted about these things, but this is like reading a victorian novel...
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Name: Bill Clinton
Email: bill@whitehouse.com
Date: Thu Sep 28 09:06:38 2000
Comment: I think its wonderful....girls bring it on.
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Name: anna
Email:
Date: Fri Sep 22 04:09:23 2000
Comment: This comment is regarding some e-mails people sent. I just think you're all paranoing about something that is pretty common. Even worse, you're judging women as if we always 'cause' these kind of affairs most of the times, when we all know its a 50% thing... do you all think the boss is innocently sitting in his office and is attacked by his female workers?.
And, unfortunately, it's still fecking typical from married men to blame women whenever thay've had a sex affair at work... oh, poor innocent men!. Let's try to be less conservative, please.
And, by the way, more open-minded. As long as these kind of affairs between our colleagues does not affect us, we're not entitled to judge, it's not our business.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Sep 21 14:11:13 2000
Comment:
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Sep 21 14:10:50 2000
Comment:
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Name: Parris
Email: flk1@excite.com
Date: Fri Sep 15 11:57:02 2000
Comment: I liked your article most because I have a friend named Sabrina C. that I used to work with and she does the same thing. She slept with 3 people at our previous work and now at her new job she has slept with one guy she told me about within 90 days of her new employment. She isn't a slut just a pretty blonde with a low selfesteem and probably a Sex and Love addiction on top of it. Sex gives her control. The last three jobs she's had she's had sex with married men. No, I haven't fecked her. Don't want to because of her past. I totally agree with your comments. And yes, I had sex with my departmental secretary, so being a guy I know it works both ways. I have and probably will never make that mistake again. At least I hope I don't.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Fri Sep 1 07:56:39 2000
Comment: I just love reading all the dumb comments
about these dot.coms failures, and how many
of you don't know your ass from a hole in the
the ground. Nobody promised you "a rose garden"
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Name: Al
Email:
Date: Mon Aug 28 16:35:44 2000
Comment: In a perfect world, the Boss is in deep trouble. He's in the position of power and responsibility. I'll offer Clinton/Lewinsky as proof. If he'd kept his zipper up, Lewinsky whould be "Who?"
Or, alternately,
People are imperfect, they make mistakes. How much time are we going to waste on "acceptable" mistakes? (The rest of the world's reaction to Clinton/Lewinsky)
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Name: Alchemista
Email: alchemista2000@hotmail.com
Date: Thu Aug 17 16:23:36 2000
Comment: SteveG and TwistedSista are 100% right on. Sleeping with your boss is a bad idea. Sleeping with a married man (with children to boot!) is worse. Sleeping with your MARRIED boss is bad, bad, juju on so many levels.
How would YOU like it if some woman did that to YOUR family? And what would YOU think of a woman or man who used such creepy, underhanded means to get ahead? Would you trust him or her? Didn't think so! This woman has some major bad karma coming up to bite her in the butt - and don't say "but I'm an atheist, I don't believe in karma, blah blah Dawkinscakes." Whether you believe in God or karma or not, they still exist.
Bottom line: If you want to sleep with a single, unattached person on your peer level, that's harmless and fun. But keep your mitts OFF the married and those above you in the hierarchy.
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Name:
Email:
Date: Thu Aug 10 19:35:55 2000
Comment:
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Name:
Email:
Date: Sat Jul 29 19:00:12 2000
Comment: Great feckin advise!
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Name: Mater_Tenebrarum
Email: Mater_Tenebrarum@yahoo.com
Date: Mon Jul 24 11:16:42 2000
Comment: Can't be people act Presidential about this? Only sex-hating Republicans act negatively about office sex. All women should act like Hillary Clinton she's a role model. Self-restraint is for losers and priests. Bill has the right idea: don't hire anyone you wouldn't wanna hump.
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Name: bill calley
Email: winner@bodycount.com
Date: Sun Jul 23 11:58:36 2000
Comment: truthfully, i'm stunned there are so many ethical people in the high-tech corporate world. i had no idea.
there also seem to be stupid ones too. anyone who gets sore at me because i bang someone else is a self-delusional tight ass.
like in war, it's everyone for themselves in the work force--especially in the dot-com rice paddies. there's nothing wrong with getting a head. survival is for the those who arrive "fustest with the mostest," as a great person once said.
don't let these times of peace and prosperity fool you. life is actually tough. who your boss fecks is trivial compared to the big things that usually await us between now and death.
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Name: Steve Gilliard
Email: steve gilliard@msn.com
Date: Sun Jul 23 00:08:16 2000
Comment: The problem is that the two go together. In NY, you could easily wind up as a respondent in court, because there is no nofault here.
You feck a married guy, you may wind up paying for it in court, under oath.
Nothing worse than a pissed off wife with a lawyer and a subpeona.
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Name: lastexit
Email: dflsj@dfldj.com
Date: Sat Jul 22 23:04:49 2000
Comment: jesus, wake up. THE GUY FUCKED HER. it's HIS family. i would agree if we were talking about conducting an affair over a period of time with this guy. that's not the case, she just banged him in the conference room one night. so?
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Name: twisted sista
Email: noneofyour@biz.com
Date: Thu Jul 20 18:11:26 2000
Comment: All I can say...is...I am single, and I can tell you it's fun being a gal in a gender-imbalanced field...BUT...I would NEVER feck a married guy. Ever.
Yes I've been tempted. While drunk. And I got my overheated pussy out of there FAST before I did something dumb.
And lady--you are an IDIOT and SELFISH for going near him...not for his wife's sake but his kids'. You can talk California psychobabble horseshit until you're blue in the face, but unless his wife explained to you AHEAD of time that this was an OK thing in their relationship, you are a shit.
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