__ __ \ \ /_/i e w e r issue 4 vol. 1 september 15/98 \ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266 \__| |/ v_d@iname.com | _ |/ archived at disobey.com |___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/ __ __________________ _ __________________ _ _________________ __ __ ________________ _ __________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ______________ _ __________________ _ _____________________ __ In this issue: WELCOME QUOTABLE THE REEF HORROR - BY MORBUS WHURL-A-URL TRIVIA BOOKS ZINESHITE ETC :: WELCOME :: Welcome to the Armageddon issue, no not the movie, the real thing. On May 5, 2000 - the date when all the planets in our solar system align in a straight line for the first time eons - and all sorts of dire consequences are predicted - there will be a live Pay-Per-View television broadcast of the Grudge Match of the Millennium. What, you ask, am I talking about? Well, what I'm talking about is considered common knowledge to those of us who travel the dark underbelly of the net, always searching for those "signs"... And believe me, those "signs" are there but you have to know how to decipher them otherwise they just appear as gibberish. Several of those "signs" were that the widely publicized ASCII numerical values (computer code) of the texts 'Windows95', 'DOS 6.20' & 'Bill Gates' all individually equaled 666! And much like the President of Proctor & Gamble, who recently admitted online that yes the P&G symbol does denote the worshipping of the Devil and further that yes he and all his top executives are minions of the Devil himself, Bill Gates has finally come clean about his connections to the Devil. On Ted Koppel's Nightline Online Gates admitted that he was in fact the Anti-Christ. This wasn't such big news to those of us who were aware of this years ago, but to the world at large it was, and still is a shocker. Anyways it now seems that Bill Gates has arranged a Pay-Per-View live cable & Internet broadcast of a no holds barred, fight to the finish Jihad-in-a-Cage Match to take place at Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas, between himself, the unholy spawn of the Lord of Flies and Jesus "I-may-turn-the-other-cheek-but-my-dad-will-kill-your-ass" Christ. The catch is though that to view online you must use Windoze98 and to view on your home TV set you must be tuned into MSNBC. With these broadcast limitations many are speculating that this is just another media-hype-exploitation from Mr. Gates to sell shares of MSNBC and copies of Windoze98. Personally I think there might be some truth to this line of thought. I mean c'mon, if you were the Devil would you choose Bill Gates as your son?!?!?! I sure as hell wouldn't. But hey, I'm funny that way. Have a nice day & enjoy the issue. And remember, ignore the hype... :: QUOTABLE :: I kick ass. I can pull shit from my butt, too. -Morbus Thesis rhymes with feces, there's a reason for that. -Stephen King :: THE REEF :: This week's items is a single page 8.5" x 11" black and white poster I found years ago stapled onto a telephone pole. It is a head and shoulder shot of a 5 to 7 year old with sunglasses on holding up the old middle finger. The caption on the top right reads "NAZI'S FUCK OFF!". On the lower left it says "red, black, yellow, brown I love all my friends!" But my favourite line is across the bottom where it reads KIDS AGAINST ASSHOLES. That line always cracks me up. If there really was a group by that name I think I would let my kids join if for no other reason than just to fuck up my neighbours, hehehe (just kidding M.M.) :-> I think I will scan this in and use it for the WHURL-A-URL prize this issue... Lookout! :: HORROR - BY MORBUS :: King of the Zombies Bought for only 3.99(US), KING OF THE ZOMBIES is a 1941 flick described as both "chilling" and "humorous". And I have to partially agree. KING OF THE ZOMBIES is funny, but definitely not scary. It's your typical "stuck on an island, no one believes the servant, and yes, there is really evil afoot here" movies. There are some good pieces: * "Marble orchard" can be used to describe a graveyard. * Zombies are "fugitives to the undertaker" and "too lazy to lay down." * Rules of the Zombie: If zombie uses salt, he dries up and gets dead. * Rules of the Zombie: If zombie looks in mirror, it "don't see nothin'." Not only does this movie bring some new and interesting phrases, it also depicts two men in the same bed (this is 1941, mind you), uses the all too well-known blur tool to make women look more beautiful, and copies Dracula's famous line with the Doctor (who turns out to be the evil mask wearing Voodoo person) saying "Zombies don't eat... meat." But the funniest part of the movie is the Zombie Clapper. Yes folks, decades before it's time, the Zombie Clapper summons all the zombies within earshot with just two claps. Use with caution. Filled with little makeup, a practically unknown secret plot (the Doctor tries to learn secrets so that he can report them back to his Axis powers), and the poorest voodoo singing I have ever heard, KING OF THE ZOMBIES is worth its spot in my library. :: WHURL-A-URL :: We have a winner from last issue!! Actually we have two winners! Due to a screw up on my part there were two active URL's in last issue's contest. Adam R. sent the first note in stating that www.junkfood.com was the real URL. Well, it wasn't active when I posted VD but sure 'nuff when Adam sent his note in it was?!?!?! The "real" real URL was supposed to be www.hell.com and seeing as Angie C. sent a note stating that, we have two winners, twice the bang for your buck! Prizes were sent out and everyone is just peachy-keen happy. Adam and Angie (sound like a sitcom?) are depicted below in all their ASCII glory (Angie is the one on the right) woohoo!. """""""""""""" :-----------------: pdpdpdpdpdpdpdpd | | : Congrats to : dppdpdpdpdpdpdpdd | __ | : Adam R. & : | dpdpdp | / _\| : Angie C.!! : | """"" dpdpdp | \_0/| : : | ___ dpdpdpd | \ : You've both : | \_o\ dppddpd | ____\ : won the 3rd VD : /_ .... dpdpdppd | | : WHURL-A-URL : | .. pdpdpdpdp | \_____| : contest... : |______\ ddpdpdpdp | | : You silly kids! : | dpdpdpdpdp |____________| :-----------------: |__________dpdpdpdpdpd <\/> pdpdpdpdpdpdp Thanks to Morbus for the artwork - VD's official "Bad ASCII, Short Notice" artist. Anyways, once again, let's WHURL-A-URL.... This week we're playing for the above mentioned scan of the Kids Against Assholes picture. So here are the URL's. First person to email v_d@iname.com the correct answer wins. Ready? On your mark, get set, WHURL-A-URL! www.gspot.org www.we'reallgonnadie.mil www.jspot.org www.smellslikefish.com www.taseslikechicken.com www.schoolofhardknocks.edu :: TRIVIA :: Well, either no one knew the answer to last issue's trivia question or no one wanted to date Morbus?!?!... It was an old cartoon though so maybe that's why no one got it (really, I'm not just trying to make you feel better Morbus :). The cartoon was Gulliver's Travels as featured on the Banana Splits. The character's name was GLUM. Anyone else got any trivia questions they want to send in? If we get some we'll start a new regular column called STUMP-THE-CHUMP and give away even more stupid prizes that you can't live without! Yeah Baby!!! :: BOOKS :: _Skinny Legs and All_ by Tom Robbins. This is one of those utterly obtuse writings that is either loved or hated. I loved it. Let me quote the opening sentence that sets the tone of this wonderful novel - "It was a bright, defrosted, pussy-willow day at the onset of spring, and the newlyweds were driving cross-country in a large roast turkey." Huh?!? Yup you read that right. I won't give away what the roast turkey is though - it made me laugh when it was divulged. Other main characters include Dirty Sock, Spoon & Can o' Beans who are exactly what their namesakes imply. This is a rollicking adventure that is pure entertainment. Highly recommended. Bonus recommendation is Jitterbug Perfume also by Tom Robbins. This guy is seriously twisted - but in a really good way. These two books have both left a lasting impression on me. :: ZINESHITE :: JoyZine and The Adventures of Zoe - http://www.joyzine.zip.com.au/ is an Australian based entertainment/enlightenment webzine. It is full of interviews with various pop/rock icons (Nirvana, Faith No More, The Alarm, Hole, etc.), with many of the interviews conducted by Zoe herself. I liked the Motorhead piece myself... There are a host of sections to choose from i.e. Adventures of Zoe, Dreamtime, Feminism, Aboriginal Art, etc. This is a site that is constantly evolving and adding fresh material. Expect to stay a while and make many return trips....The Wonder from Down Under... The Instagon Foundation (TIF) - http://www.tif.org/ is not really a zine but a...movement, yeah that fits. TIF is spearheaded by Lob who is perhaps one of the nicest guys I've never met. TIF hosts a number of members sites of like-minded creative individuals, including connections to TOPY (Thee Temple Ov Psychick Youth). TIF is also the home of the experimental noise band Instagon (kind of like William S. Burroughs gone aural) of which Lob is the only constant. Lob has his fingers into so many pies that it's a wonder he isn't burnt out - I get tired just reading what he does... one of those things being a great mailing list (tifmaillist@tif.org) to inform a wide range of people of events, ezine launches, web site updates, poetry readings, chapbook publications, etc. A site for the creative individuals out there. :: ETC :: You can catch VD from banging buts, sniffing roadkill or smoking your dead friends' cremation ashes. But it's much simpler to send an empty email to v_d-subscribe@makelist.com If you have something you'd like to see in vd or an idea for a section you'd like to write or just want to scream at someone, send a note to v_d@iname.com Viewer Discretion, VD and all likenesses, imaginary or real, are copyrighted, lefted, centered and justified. Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com Why put off till tomorrow something you can rope your moron co-worker induhvidual into to doing forever? Next issue September 29/98 __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"... Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at: http://www.disobey.com/text/ Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah. Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh. Publication by Disobey. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion ...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on. __ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __ __ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __ __ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __