.ili. Devil Shat Twenty Two .ili. ------------------------------------- Why Image is a Photograph .......................... by Morbus Words, God and Bad Business Practices ............. by Crash23 Untitled #1 .................................... by g. nih ton This is Devil Shat Twenty Two released on 03/12/98. Devil Shat is published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/ Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email and let us know. Devil Shat is a factor of eleven! ------------------------------------- .ili. Why Image is a Photograph .ili. ------------------------------------- by Morbus People have learned to love image. Image is not who you are, what you like, or who you want to socialize with. Image is rather what you are supposed to be, what you are supposed to like, and who you are supposed to "hang out" with. I have long been out of the school system... but month after month I see people worrying about who they are and who is watching at every second. They shout out "don't do that" or "don't do this" because even though they don't know these ever watchful peeping toms, someone certainly does, and the rumors are going to spread about what Billy saw Jackie doing at the skating rink ("she did WHAT?"). It is incredible for me to think that one month someone will shop at a great new store that just opened up and then a month later hate the same damn store because so many other people are shopping there. He hates the idea that people look like him. This isn't a case of "same clothes" but more of "I have no personality, and I need people to perceive me as being different but the same." See, when you have an image, clothes really do make the man. Image tells you who you are. It tells you how you should walk, and how you should wear your clothes. Should you wear them tight and sexy? Blazers and dress pants? Should you wear your pants to your crack, and let your designer boxers show? Or should you go "hopeful" and just wear name brand clothes with the ever popular "swooshtika". Image is what you like. This is a more flexible rule. You stop at a certain store and you get certain things. Sure, there are enough deviances in the style that you can get away with shopping there for a month, but after awhile people are going to start looking like you. You might see the same shirt worn by another guy a couple of days before you were planning to. So, instead of not giving a shit, you change what you are going to wear. But eventually, that store is going to get so popular that everyone in your "image circle" is going to start looking like you. When people notice that everyone else "dressing like them" differs for each individual... and is one of the prime reasons why we have not seen the Orwellian future of duplicate wardrobes everyday of the week. You've got a number of options when this comes about. You can keep wearing what you are and "kinda not give a shit". You know people are going to change, so if you don't, then you will become different through inaction. Or, you can whip out some of your old bagfuls of clothes, and mix and match your old stuff with your new stuff to get an interesting look. Shoot me if this is becoming too much of a fashion article. What you are supposed to like is not only what people see on the exterior. Images are not only skin deep, not only in passing. You have to hang out with someone sooner or later so you are going to have to be careful about who you like. Let's pick on alternashit. Everything sounds the same, but you can get away with not liking "Band A" (which is hugely popular) because you listen to "Band B" (which sounds exactly like A but is slightly different in presentation). Image is who you like and who you are supposed to talk to. If you talk to someone not 'approved', rumors will spread. "I saw Sonya talking to Corey the other day." "You did! Ohmigod!" Soon, confrontations... if you don't come up with a decent excuse, expect a dubious period of time where you will be on trial until you come back to the flock. Image does evolve. But only internally. The clothes might change, or the snob level might ease off. Images, however, are snapshots of life that can only feed on itself, and then be regurgitated to others. It is like an ant colony... you can dig deeper and deeper and make more and more tunnels but unless an ant eater comes and kicks your ass, you will always remain an ant colony, happy with a paradigm. ------------------------------------------------- .ili. Words, God and Bad Business Practices .ili. ------------------------------------------------- by Crash23 February 14, 1998. Valentines Day. Last night my kids asked me to help them bake a cake so they could invite some friends over for a little get together today. I obliged them. Today when I called our neighbours to invite their kids over, as I have done countless times in the past and their kids always came to my house with no concerns what so ever, I said that my kids had baked a Valentine's cake and wished to share it. The response I got was: "Not with my kids!" It seems due to their religious beliefs they can't or don't celebrate holidays such as Valentine's Day. Not that I celebrate it either, my kids just really wanted an excuse to have their friends over for cake. So I said to this neighbour: "OK. Drop the Valentine's part. Can your kids come over for cake?" To which she replied: "Thanks, but I don't want my kids participating in any Valentine's Day party." Just for the record we are talking about 4 to 6 olds here. So here it stands, their kids have been over to my house literally countless times in the past years for various kiddie get togethers but now because I happened to say the "V" word, they can't come. The question that immediately comes to my mind is does God, if he/she/it really exists, care about whether or not you eat plain cake or Valentine's Day cake? Isn't that a tad trivial when you consider all the inhumanity towards humanity from humanity that occurs on a daily basis? I mean it just doesn't make sense to me. You could even take it farther and say that on this day of "love" we have to be divided because God wouldn't approve. Isn't God supposed to love us all and want us to be united in universal brotherly/sisterly love? It's just a fucking cake! It's not even pink for crying out loud. What does colour have to do with anything you ask? Nothing. That's my point. These are just stupid fucking words arbitrarily chosen to separate one group from another with no significant consequences coming from the adhering to or not of these words. Not beliefs, WORDS. God exists is a belief. Wearing a hat or not or eating Valentine's Day cake or not, are words. Period. This whole idea of doing or not doing really trivial things because God would or wouldn't approve serves more to divide humanity than unite. I mean does God really care if you wear special underwear, have little ringlets in your hair, pray on Saturday, Sunday or whatever day you chose? Do he/she/it care if I have a turban or a dot or a Yamaoka? Does kneeling facing north, south, east or west really make a difference in God hearing my prayers? I mean God should have the best reception in the universe, he/she/it is God after all, and I shouldn't have to align myself like a bad pair of rabbit ears to make sure the prayer channel comes in clear. All this serves to do, in my analysis anyways, is continue to erect invisible, useless barriers that extreme believers will eventually use to exterminate the non-believers in their midst. It's not that big of a leap from disassociation due to a kid's cake to a holy war based on similar stupid beliefs. Just look at Ireland. I hear 6 and 7 year old kids talking on the news about how their Protestant/Catholic neighbours are dirty people. About how there is a smell from those people. And these kids grow up wanting to kill someone they know nothing about based purely on that person's belief in a certain God's way. I can't believe that God would throw all of us down here wanting us to believe in him/she/it but giving us no direction. It's like he shuffled up his belief deck and asked us to pick a card, any card. Us hoping/believing that we picked the right card and being indignant as hell about it. I don't know, but to me that just seems like a really bad way to run your business (and yes, religion is a business but that's a whole other subject), if you want to have any followers at all. Alive ones that is. And to those who will undoubtedly say that I'm being culturally insensitive, well, you're right I am because my God tells me to be that way so it must be right. ----------------------- .ili. Untitled #1 .ili. ----------------------- by g. nih ton A friend once told me that in order to get popular you must discuss race; to be infamous you must be racist. I'm looking for notoriety. As a white man growing up in a not so white man's world, I think that I am entitled to laugh at my own people. Why? Because I hate them. Along with Catholics, white people are the least likely to be able to get a joke directed at them. For those of you who have seen cable in a hotel room, you know that the greatest thing in the world is when Sinbad mocks whitey. The funny part is that most of Sinbad's audience is white, yet every time he opens his mouth one of two subjects come out: his bullshit about women and his thoughts on the white man. Gradually evolving the subject, what makes the white man so funny. The walk? The dance? The speech? The basketball skills? Richard Simmons? To tell you the truth, I have no idea, because I walk like a crack head, dance like a crack baby, speak like a drunk, and aspire to be Larry Bird. From what I've heard, everything about the white man involves some sort of stiffness that I've only seen displayed by blacks and emulated by little punks trying to be funny. Is there a point to any of this? I don't think so, because my purpose to this article was to debunk those myths, but what's the use. We all know Sinbad isn't funny and that the only thing funny about white people is the so-called truth about our behaviors that is dying with the age of Bob Dole, the last real white man. In a couple of years, I'm sure the roles will be reversed (whites will become "black" and vice versa) and Sinbad, Jr. will be talking about the good ol' days when his daddy paved the way for modern whites to act a lot cooler. I really do fancy myself as a serious guy, but that damn Sinbad just makes you want to be comedic. Must be the repetitive puns. (c)1998 G. Nih Ton. All rights reserved. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The website edition includes images, a nice design, and all of the email we have received about this issue. Go there and um, er, have fun: http://www.disobey.com/devilshat/ Copyright 1997-1999 Disobey. 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